Katrina26 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 So I was asking my boyfriend what he would like me to get for his graduation and he said he is fine with whatever I'm giving him. And I asked what am I giving you ? He then replied "care and affection like a mother" and then I asked so do you see me as a mother? And he said that in a way yes. I asked him what way and he said cause I'm very caring. Before he had told me that only his mother cooked and knew little details about what he likes an now I do too. Is that a good thing ?
pteromom Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 It could be good, or it could be bad. If he means you are nurturing and caring, it could be good. If it means you don't really turn him on because you are too motherly, it could be bad. I'd go back to him and talk to him some more about it.
veggirl Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Terrible thing unless he also looks at his mom sexually and in that case you've got a whole new set of problems! "You're like my mom" omg what a turn off! 2
Sunshine87 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 He then replied "care and affection like a mother" and then I asked so do you see me as a mother? And he said that in a way yes. I asked him what way and he said cause I'm very caring. ? He sees you as a mother in a way because you are caring. That's a positive thing in my opinion especially if marriage might be on the cards. Emphasis on why he sees you as a mother in a way . I wouldn't be too worried but ensure you don't act too motherly. Look really hot the next time you see him in order to remind him of............... 2
Jbum5 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 In some relationships the female inevitably becomes a motherly figure. In this case, your man has the balls to admit that sooner rather than later. And it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the relationship between him and his biological mother. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 He meant that as a term of care/nurturing rather than a sexual reference, I mean jesus people wtf. It's a good thing in the way that he expressed it, that you take care of him and know these things about him too. However, you don't want to go overboard with the nurturing and attentiveness to be seen as a mother. You're likely very young and want to make a guy the center of your world and everything, but try to stay away from that (as much as a young girl can) and be independent and not so passive and conforming to him all of the time, don't be one of those girls that just does whatever she can to make him happy and to make things right...like if you're just some puppy sitting there waited to be called upon for licks. Take the initiative in things, do some things for yourself and express your needs as well. You should just get him whatever you think you should get him for his graduation, or whatever you want, and just leave it at that. But don't go all over-thinking this, just make sure you're your own person, not some leech attached to his arm, your insecurity is going to be a problem in relationships. 5
Author Katrina26 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 He meant that as a term of care/nurturing rather than a sexual reference, I mean jesus people wtf. It's a good thing in the way that he expressed it, that you take care of him and know these things about him too. However, you don't want to go overboard with the nurturing and attentiveness to be seen as a mother. You're likely very young and want to make a guy the center of your world and everything, but try to stay away from that (as much as a young girl can) and be independent and not so passive and conforming to him all of the time, don't be one of those girls that just does whatever she can to make him happy and to make things right...like if you're just some puppy sitting there waited to be called upon for licks. Take the initiative in things, do some things for yourself and express your needs as well. You should just get him whatever you think you should get him for his graduation, or whatever you want, and just leave it at that. But don't go all over-thinking this, just make sure you're your own person, not some leech attached to his arm, your insecurity is going to be a problem in relationships. Thank you guys. I think he meant it like im very caring. I just have to kiss him for 20 seconds and i will feel things moving down there so i dont think is anything sexual. I just wanted to see some different point of views
TouchedByViolet Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Mom like milf? Lol As long as he is into you sexually you are good.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I think alot of guys like their girlfriends to take care of them like their own mothers did, I mean who wouldn't want a woman who cooks and makes his bed for him, and take care of his every whims and needs? However, I agree with other posters, including Ninjainpajamas, that you have to know where to draw a line between mothering and being caring. If you go overboard, you may find that you will lose your identity in the process because you will have made your life about him. Perhaps in the beginning, your boyfriend may enjoy the attention and the affection of a doting girlfriend, however, overtime he may find it stifling. Haven't you seen or heard scenarios where the guy starts questioning about his feelings for her because she too doting and suffocating? Usually you find that the guy starts having doubts and starts saying " _____, you've changed. You no longer are the girl I fell in love in the first place". Men like girls who are caring and affectionate, but overall, they LOVE women who are independent, with their own goals and own hobbies. It's what keeps them attracted to you, that you are there for them but still ungrasp-able because you also have your own life and aren't willing to give up your goals for him. 1
Treasa Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Being caring is great. When you're basically taking care of him, not so cool. He's a grown man. The give and take should be equal.
tbf Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 It's quite common for men to replace their mothers with their partners, as long as they have a good relationship with their mothers. When they have bad relationships with their mothers, they will most often look for the opposite.
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