a0009 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 (edited) After being dumped three weeks ago, and i initiated nc rule she broke it last night and came to my place and spent the night. We talked about other things but not the breakup issue....today she texts me this " are we friends now or your are still going to ignore me"... i dont want to be friends that easily anyway so i have not replied. But i am going to see her to get my stuff back so what should i do...plus i was advised not to spend the night with her but i did... Edited April 23, 2013 by a0009
aeren944 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Get your **** back, homie. 3 weeks seems like not that long of time to be over it, just my opinion. Be careful with your emotions. Period.
cdt76 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 FRIENDS????? F no you aren't friends. Why you let her sleep over in the first place is ridiculous! She is easing her guilt that she left you. Tell her you can't be friends and that if she wants the relationship then she has a lot of work to do to make it work. But friendship is out of the question. It doesn't work anyway so why even contemplate it.
portableversion Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 very difficult situation a person I know recommended I watch the tao of steve ill check it out. Ive tried it with my ex she had been extremely aggressive in pursuing this, ive read on the internet in other places that it could be possible to rekindle the relationship but then too it could happen where you get a convo like this, "oh hey friend I have good news for you this person I really like likes me too and we're going out isn't that wonderful?" It could pan out a few different ways but you get my gist. Big question to play the friend card or not, other places on the net describe trying to keep your cool while they start shagging someone else, then that relationship ends and there you are as the escape plan. Not sure what to make of it all, was at another place and they describe this as co-dependency, the other person just cant and wont ever be single if they can avoid it at all costs. Made me really wonder some stuff about my ex shes never been single since the age of 15 or so. But it seems that perhaps if u can keep it cool that ur now just friends and be cool with that and be there as some kind of witness to new relationships you have a chance to get back together. Me I cant do it though I really felt I was given signals that I should do that. I prayed on this question for 4 days or so and I really felt I got a message to be her friend, but then she tells me that she going to Alaska again to shag her bf and I went on slow decline, and I finally told her I cant do it, it just hurts way to much. Since my ex and I have kids this is probably going to surface again sometime in the future. Seems like women like to get together with friends sometimes, I got replaced by a supposed friend, go ahead and try that tactic to get her back? or just cut her off to move on and then perhaps they really miss you and come back. This is no easy thing to think about it stinks and it aint fun, I read at other places that if you still love them your're probably just gonna get hurt and its not possible to be their friend if you feel that way. This issue has plagued me many times, another thing to consider is what brings you peace. Mr I prayed back to god and said hey im too weak to play the jesus card of the ultimate compassion , respect and tolerance, and forgiveness, lord god I cant do it. I have no peace seeing her or not seeing her, but I think its getting more peaceful not seeing her. They wanted out of the relationship let them out, they didn't want to work on it in the 1st place. ................Ive really been torn on the issue but for me I have to protect my heart, I was getting depressed after she left so I felt I just don't have the strength to do it, maybe when I stop caring and have a new gf myself I can play the friend card. I really don't know 1
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