Nickyg Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 So I have little time to post here cause I have an Organic Chemistry test on Wednesday so I'll be as detailed as possible without writing a 6 page novel. I just want really good and real insight. I met this girl last year and we ended up talking a good bit on Facebook for a while later that week. She gave me her number and we texted but we never hung out. Just no time, but she's very cute. Anyway, a year later at spring break, she happens to be staying at the hotel I am staying in. My friend went to high school with her and invited her and her friends over. She came in and looked at me pretty much the whole time while we partied. I won't say I'm the very best looking guy, but I'd like to think that I am fairly attractive, though she's expressed her type as "tall, white guy" while I'm only 5'9"-5'10" and tan, so it kind of throws me off. I digress, the next day we go to her room to party some more and I get pretty drunk and she and I talk the entire time and I ended up hanging out with her for a good portion of the trip. We didn't do anything really except hold hands cause I'd say she was drunker than I was and that's against my moral compass. So we get back to school and she and I text every day. She tells me to meet her at a bar on my birthday, but we were both too drunk to make anything of it, so she calls me and tells me to go to her apartment for a birthday "chill sesh" as she called it. haha but she and I talk a lot about ourselves and get to know each other while we drank some more and make out a little before snuggling all night. I asked her to go with me to my fraternity formal and she accepted. I pick her up for formal and some random guy leaves her room with her. I didn't really care, she's single and can do what she'd like. We get to our hotel and we drink and make out a good bit and then walk around downtown Knoxville. She and I held hands, she laughed a lot at everything I said, she was impressed when I went to play guitar at a guitar shop with some friends. And then we go back to take a nap where I wake up to her texting that other guy she was with in her room. I didn't really care cause like I said, it's her deal, but what got me was she said (from what I could read), "yeah, baseball players are my type." So I'm getting ready for the formal event and I get pretty drunk pregaming.... not a good move cause I got insecure as H**l! I started to worry about it for some reason and I asked my hotel roommate what he thought about the situation while my date was in the shower. He told me to not worry about if she's into me or not and just have fun. She comes out of the bathroom and asked if we were making fun of her, so I tried to play it off by being like "yeah, totally. You've just got a lot of stuff to make fun of." but she knew I was kidding and it went on from there. We kissed a few times taking pitcutes and I kissed her cheek in one of her pictures. The night goes smoothly and we end up hanging out in a hotel room late night drinking. She was in my lap and texting so I would mess with her and take her phone or turn it off and she'd always play around. I did that randomly throughout the trip too, she'd always just laugh or try to convince me that her phone wasn't as interesting as it seemed. But she kind of picked it up in a joking way, which is what I intended. She told me "you can't keep me from my roommates!" But I did see that she's texting that dude still when she said that, but I didn't point it out or act anyway different. She and I go to bed and hookup some and after I said "I know we don't really know each other as much as I know we could. But I like hanging out with you and I kinda like you." She pushed me off and says "do you really know me?" I reply "of course, we talked a lot. And I think you're a cool girl, different from any girl I've met in a long time. Plus you're interesting and fun." She says "aww" and cuddles with me harder than she's ever cuddled with me before. The next day on the ride home, she's acting weird. She still snuggles for a little on the ride home but complains of neck aches so we dont do it for long. She still laughs at everything I say, but what got me is she says to me "I don't really know much about sports. But soccer players are hot, and if I had to choose a sport to watch, it'd probably be soccer." Contradicting what she told that other guy (though I know I shouldn't know that, but I guess sleeping next to her while she texts in front of me gives me that knowledge.). But we get back to school and she posts that picture of me and her while I kiss her cheek on Instagram. Her friends told her how precious it was and how cute we were. But she doesn't text back anymore. She also has an Organic Chem test, but we texted very little and then today she just did not respond after the second text. I did not text her again or anything, but it's really confusing me and I want help knowing what I should do and what you all think she's probably/ might be thinking. I rarely like a girl cause I'm heavily involved in school and I honestly do like her, so if you could give me anything that would help or advice, I would really appreciate it. sorry about the novel.
meghann8 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 During your spring break, I think she was viewing her options. She likes you, but was getting a feel for other guys to see if there was a better fit (it's a primal, finding the best mate, survival of the fittest thing that women do, whether it be a conscious action or not. Girls look for the best match before committing). Also, girls flirt and enjoy flirting, whether they really mean what they say or not. Flattering a guy will only get girls more attention, and it's just fun that way, especially when they're single. It gives girls a high of sorts and really boosts their self-esteem and confidence. The fact that she was spending all/most of her time with you and not this other baseball guy is that she likes YOU and she chose YOU to be with for the duration. The fact that you gave her space to talk to other guys and have fun is also a good thing and she definitely took that as a positive. If she was only hanging out with you because you were the best choice for the week, but didn't want anything out of it afterwards, she wouldn't have hung out with you after you told her that you liked her. She may still be deciding whether or not she wants to date you, but the fact that she sat right next to you and was cuddling up next to you on the ride back is a positive message. Girls do also tend to say things that are only meant to be taken at face-value, contrary to popular belief, so her neck really did hurt and she just wanted to be more comfortable snuggling up next to you. Posting that picture of you kissing her cheek is a good thing too! That was also a good way of getting her friends' opinions on the potential relationship. Besides it being a cute picture, her friends' comments will play into her decision of whether or not to date you. (I know, scary, right? Again with the whole 'finding the best match' thing.) The thing about her not texting you all that often nowadays is that she might have a ton of schoolwork to catch up on after spring break. I say ask her out to dinner and then to the bars afterwards, since you guys have that in common and really enjoy yourselves when drinking. I wouldn't change that part about your friendship/relationship with this girl. Ooo, a good way to ask her out would be to see if she wanted to go get food after your exam. Great way to unwind after orgo (I was there once ._. ) and just hang out with her more. ___ I hope this helps. I'm extremely analytical and like to break down certain situations and analyze each and every aspect, consider the pros and cons, and then look at the big picture and make a conclusion. Turns out, this comment really dove into the inner workings of the female brain and our decision processes...lol. Whether or not your girl consciously thinks this way or not, this is what happens. I only went into such great depths because I think you're also one to analyze certain situations, enjoy knowing the truth, and can easily handle constructive criticism. If I'm completely wrong on this, I'm sorry and hopefully someone else can find the words to tell you what's going on in this situation. Good luck on your exam tomorrow and your relationship with this girl!
Author Nickyg Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 The thing about her being sore was she still did not cuddle up with me afterwards. And she also has definitely been on her phone, cause she's been on twitter and Instagram. So yeah.
meghann8 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 From what I can tell, all the signs point to her liking you. I'm oddly enough going through the same thing with this one guy. We just started dating, but haven't set any boundaries yet. I saw him talking to another girl today. Not a big deal, but I felt a pang of jealousy there. Now that I know I really want to take this further, I really want to talk to him about boundaries so nothing is left unsaid and no one gets hurt (like no hooking up or kissing other girls. Flirting is okay though, as long as he comes back to me in the end). I know I have seen texts from guys I like, but I leave them alone because I can't think of a good response just yet, so I'll wait. Other times I'll simply not text back because I have nothing to say. This one is a little harder to read. All I can say is just ask her out. You'll get an answer then. If she agrees and you guys go out on a few dates, that's when you establish boundaries. Until then, everything is fair game and she can do whatever she wants.
Author Nickyg Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 I hope so. Idk it just takes a lot for a girl to make me like her and when it doesn't work out I get pretty bummed. I have a high guard on myself so it's always tough to get into situations like this. She still has not contacted me in any way since that day. Whatever it may be, I'll let the next few days decide. It's just such a tricky situation in my opinion
clia Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 I think she likes you and she likes the other guy, so you've got some competition. Better up your game. Stop this texting nonsense and ask her out on another date. If she agrees to go on a date with you, you will know whether or not she likes you. 1
meghann8 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Stop this texting nonsense and ask her out on another date. If she agrees to go on a date with you, you will know whether or not she likes you. Agreed. Just ask her. Also, waiting for a text back just sucks, especially if it's been a while. I was in that situation just last week - turns out he was waiting for ME to text! Just ask her out. It'll save you all this nervous energy if nothing else.
Author Nickyg Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 I agree that I should ask her out. The only reason I harp on this texting thing so much is because she is a very shy girl and is more compelled to communicate through text or through another source like that. Like shes so shy, she doesnt say "thank you" when i hold the door for her, but i know she appreciates it cause she'll text me later on "thank you for everything, i had fun and you were a gentleman!" so its just confusing. I will definitely make a date out our organic chemistry test if that's a good idea. 1
Author Nickyg Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 New developments.... So we've texted since then and she's invited me to party/ hangout with her, but she ends up not replying right before we're supposed to hangout. She asked me today if she could come to my fraternity house with some friends later, but after texting, she says she's really drunk already and I teased her saying she probably will be too "messed up" to come over or remember and she did t deny. Soooo idk
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