FlyerFan54 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 First of all I need to thank everyone who took the time to read the novel (haha) I wrote yesterday. After reading the responses from Clia and Brick, it put things in perspective for me. I realize how although I thought things with her and I were on the same level...they actually weren't. Instead of sitting back and waiting for her to catch up, I pushed way harder than I should have. I now see why she may have gotten uncomfortable. To be honest, I feel really guilty. I'm actually more shocked that when it was broken down, I had no clue how needy I was acting. I'm not a needy guy, but I admit I did get excited because things seemed to be going so well. Mainly, I got over-excited when we were texting back and forth on a daily basis. Getting texts about wanting to cuddle was no help. So here's my dilemma: How can I fix it? Most of you said that she likes me, but I need to take a step back. I completely agree, and I have no intentions of reaching out to her this week at all. I want to give her all the space and air that she can breathe. I think that in itself could make things better. The thing is, we're supposed to hang out this weekend with a bunch of friends, and I'm actually feeling a little awkward about seeing her. I know what I did wrong, but am confused as how to resolve it. I feel like I should apologize, but that sounds like a bad idea. Should I act like nothing happened? Or will a long period without contact fix everything on its own? Thanks in advance for your replies.
Minneloa Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Hi FF, No apology to her necessary. In fact, this would just make you seem more intense, not less. Just back off and see what happens. Good luck!
Poppy fields Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Apology = bad idea. Just stop being clingy, and she will get the message.
Author FlyerFan54 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 Hi FF, No apology to her necessary. In fact, this would just make you seem more intense, not less. Just back off and see what happens. Good luck! That's exactly what I thought, just wanted to re-affirm. Thanks! I'll keep you posted.
clia Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Agreed with the others. And it's okay to shoot her a text here and there to say hi and see how she's doing. Just be cognizant of not doing it too much. Don't go to the other extreme and drop off the face of the planet! 1
Author FlyerFan54 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 Apology = bad idea. Just stop being clingy, and she will get the message. Poppy, if you could explain. How exactly does the backing off send the message? I understand the idea, but I am not understanding how it works...if that makes any sense haha.
Author FlyerFan54 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 Agreed with the others. And it's okay to shoot her a text here and there to say hi and see how she's doing. Just be cognizant of not doing it too much. Don't go to the other extreme and drop off the face of the planet! This, right here is what I am struggling with. That balance. I'm trying to give her space, so even saying hi (from what I've interpreted) would be counterproductive. Because of how pushy I've come off, I don't when it is a good/bad idea to say hello at the moment. Shouldn't I let her reach out to me at this point? Since we're hanging out this weekend...I figure if she wants to talk to me during the week, she will. I think there's no reason to even text her given the situation seems delicate right now. Wouldn't it be better if I just waited until Saturday and see her? If I found that balance, many of my problems could be solved! Hahaha!
Poppy fields Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Poppy, if you could explain. How exactly does the backing off send the message? I understand the idea, but I am not understanding how it works...if that makes any sense haha. If you stop bothering her, that will send her the message that you are not a clingy creeper. Does that make sense?
snowflakes88 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Do NOT disappear for months. Keep it light for the next few days. Today is Tuesday. Maybe send her a good morning message tomorrow and just gauge her response. If the texts dwindle off, that's okay. Just don't feel tempted to send a follow up or call her to fill the space. You're right in that you need to walk a fine line between not being pushy and not making her think you've fallen off the face of the earth. I think a couple of general messages are okay, as long as (1) you aren't pushing her to make time for you / explain her lack of availability again, and (2) you can let the conversation die and resurrect itself naturally without panicking or taking it as a sign that something is wrong.
Author FlyerFan54 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 If you stop bothering her, that will send her the message that you are not a clingy creeper. Does that make sense? Blunt and to the point. Absolutely. Thanks!
Author FlyerFan54 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 Do NOT disappear for months. Keep it light for the next few days. Today is Tuesday. Maybe send her a good morning message tomorrow and just gauge her response. If the texts dwindle off, that's okay. Just don't feel tempted to send a follow up or call her to fill the space. You're right in that you need to walk a fine line between not being pushy and not making her think you've fallen off the face of the earth. I think a couple of general messages are okay, as long as (1) you aren't pushing her to make time for you / explain her lack of availability again, and (2) you can let the conversation die and resurrect itself naturally without panicking or taking it as a sign that something is wrong. I have no problem reaching out to her, but because of how much over the past week I have reached out...I feel it's best if she contacts me. I have a feeling she will by the weekend, but the less I reach out I feel can only calm things down. From what I gathered, if I let her contact me first it will show there is still some interest. I don't want to say hello just for the sake of contacting her. Does that make sense, or am I still looking at this the wrong way?
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