HELP !!! Is this okay for me? or I am just taking it too hard?

[will_woman]

Hi,

I posted long time ago on my husband (soon to be ex) cheated on me while he is away in foreign land. When I finally joined him there, he gave me the BIGGEST SURPRISE for me. Initially, he tried to send me home saying he is not used to my appearance then finally he brought up the woman to my face.

 

Okay, I got the HUGE SMAP on my face and I returned back to my country.

It has been a year and we are still in those messy divorcing matter. He has the cheek to raise anulment and denied any sexual relationship with me. And I contested it with the truth.

 

I am wondering whether is it normal for me to recall those bad bad moments (how he treated me badly and finally admitted he has a woman) from time to time?

In fact, I am quite afraid to spend time alone such as eating meals. My mind tend to sway over to those bad memories.

 

Everytime, when I recall those ****ty thnigs, should I put a stop to it? Or I should just take in and keeping admitting it has happened (i mean deep in my heart)?

 

Will anyone ever forget? I have a feeling that these bad memories going to follow me forever.

 

HELP!!!

[bluechocolate]

I think it is perfectly normal for you to be recalling those bad memories. You said that you're still in the messy divorce stages so you're not through with this man yet. As long as he is still a part of your life I think those memories will affect you. And yes, they will be with you forever, but there impact will lessen over time to the point where one day they won't affect you at all. I once went through an icky court case with a former employer - it tore me up for months & I became physically ill from the stress of it all. And for quite some time afterwards I wouldn't talk about it or hear anything about them. Now I couldn't care less.

 

I think it's normal to feel hurt & to have those ****ty moments. And I think it's normal that they play in your mind over & over until the point where you think you're going crazy. But you're not going crazy. You are processing your feelings and like I said, I believe that when the divorce is finally over the impact of those bad memories will lessen. You'll still have them, afterall what are we if not our experiences & memories?