Own Worst Enemy Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 (edited) This isn't about The Ex, for once. The question is whether you would say something, or slink off in dignified silence. So I join an evil dating website. One of the guys who emails me is v different to anyone else. He is very clever, funny and well read, but rather mad in an intense Romantic Poet kind of a way. Classic mistake of a million emails and phone calls before meeting up, and we get along brilliantly. He demonstrates great thoughtfulness and is very attentive. He is extremely open about the fact that he doesn't have two cents to rub together, whereas I earn quite a lot, but this kind of thing doesn't bother me, so he got over it. First date went amazingly; he was super keen. Second date a few days ago was the same - at first. He was the one who was all over me, kissing me, telling me how pretty I am, how many kids would we have, blah blah blah. After a few hours we went back to mine. Not much happened, but we were lying on the bed talking and fooling around a bit for hours. Then i knew the switch had flipped. Suddenly the guy who wanted to joke about how soon he could move in couldn't wait to get home; he didn't ask to see me again bu said "text me" - the usual ****! Now it's been 48 hours and he's gone from 100 texts a day to silence. Oh, and he popped up on the first page of the dating website. So, no time to be honest with me, but plenty of time to look for someone else to pay for his meals and listen to his whining about having no money!!! Question: do I call him out on being a spineless loser, or do I say absolutely nothing? What would you do?? Thanks my lovelies Edited April 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
todreaminblue Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 This isn't about The Ex, for once. This is a potential new man, and whilst it's perhaps more a topic for the dating forum, in light of what happened, I think it's more a break-up scenario! The question isn't about what I could have done differently, or red flags - i can see those. The question is whether you would say something, or slink off in dignified silence. So as part of the bid to move on, I join an evil dating website. One of the guys who emails me is v different to anyone else. He is very clever, funny and well read, but rather mad in an intense Romantic Poet kind of a way. Classic mistake of a million emails and phone calls before meeting up, and we get along brilliantly. He demonstrates great thoughtfulness and is very attentive. He is extremely open about the fact that he doesn't have two cents to rub together, whereas I earn quite a lot, but this kind of thing doesn't bother me, so he got over it. First date went amazingly; he was super keen. Second date a few days ago was the same - at first. He was the one who was all over me, kissing me, telling me how pretty I am, how many kids would we have, blah blah blah. After a few hours we went back to mine. Not much happened, but we were lying on the bed talking and fooling around a bit for hours. Then i knew the switch had flipped. Suddenly the guy who wanted to joke about how soon he could move in couldn't wait to get home; he didn't ask to see me again bu said "text me" - the usual ****! Now it's been 48 hours and he's gone from 100 texts a day to silence. Oh, and he popped up on the first page of the dating website. So, no time to be honest with me, but plenty of time to look for someone else to pay for his meals and listen to his whining about having no money!!! Question: do I call him out on being a spineless loser, or do I say absolutely nothing? What would you do?? Thanks my lovelies maintain a graceful silence...you are better than that...he is not worth your time or effort, be grateful not resentful it happened sooner rather than later.....it pays no use to go "off" with a guy like this...why?....they truly wouldnt care anyway what you have to say...maintain dignity......smile....move on.....deb 1
Weathergirl Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Say nothing. Sometimes silence is better than any words. Don't give him the satisfaction to know. He knows where you are, if he wants to explain himself. 1
TearyEyedPride Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Ugh. He's a creeper. Yeah... just be silent and let him and that weird experience fade away.
Buttercup84 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 He sounds like a creeper and I would not waste my time on him.
clia Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Why is he a spineless loser? You've only had two dates with this guy. He doesn't owe you anything, and you aren't exclusive with him. He can date whoever he wants from the dating web site. Also, I assume he didn't force you to buy him meals. (What, two meals?). I mean, dating is about finding the right person. The vast majority of the time, a first date or a second date or even a third date may not translate into more dates. People get to know each other better and decide they don't want to pursue anything further. It is what it is. Would it be nice for him to tell you explicitly that he doesn't want to see you anymore? Sure, but that typically is not the way it works, especially at two dates in. The majority of guys will poof, so he is no more of a spineless loser than 99% of the guys on OLD. But yeah, at this point you should just remain silent. You really shouldn't be this invested in him so early on anyway.
pbjbear Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 The majority of men on OLD are out for some nookie and will try to convince you they are not before you give out the nookie. Dont sleep with men early from OLD. Someone youve known awhile such as a friend, sure. Not men from OLD! Most lie and you have no idea who they really are!
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