3 months on...

[Shocked Suzie]

2. How are the kids?

they seem pretty settled atm, which is good...try to make positive out of some of the changes, some wont hurt them at all...just how they feel/see their dad is the only issue, but thats down to him...cant change that, did try a while ago to give him a heads up but he seemed to get worse since i did this...not going there again

 

3. How was ladies night out?

...didn't go just didnt fancy it, i'll get there in time...just wasnt up for a singles night club night, sort of had a cattle market image in my head

 

Have you had any reply yet regarding legal aid? Do you want any of us to check for Q'land legal aid online?

that would be great thanks, ive not heard anything as yet

 

5. This guy is bloody incredible and I wish we could do more to help you get over the hurt he has caused you and your kids. Also, think about documentin, getting as much evidence as possible, writing a daily list/log of all his lack of involvement in kids' lives & failure of his other responsibilities. It might come in handy if he further surprises you by demanding full custody etc. Just in case... But talk to your friends etc. before doing this, I'm not sure if/how this (if he realized you're keeping a log re: his irresponsibility etc.) could potentially further alienate him etc.

 

i've kept everything and keep notes...i spoke to a solicitor a while ago and he said due to the kids age, its up to the kids where they go. He lives an hour away so atm its not practical at all for him to have my kids due to school, jobs and friends... I will always respect whatever the kids want and they are not silly and have strong views and wants.

 

Truly truly best wishes, and as much as it hurts, I'm glad that with every day of his idiocy there is, hopefully, less and less chance he will ever try to interfere or hurt any of you again, and more and more chance that one day he'll realize what an arse he was and will try to do his utmost to help you all heal...

 

Once houses are sorted out, i aim to have hardly any contact with him...i want him in my life as little as possible, even if that means being financially broke...i will only ask if it is a benefit for the kids, i will manage every other way...i want to owe him nothing!

 

I don't think he ever will, he seems really happy...which makes me feel he has done the right thing 'for him anyway' ...many people have said he will try to come back, have regret...i've never thought he would for some reason. This area is where i need to focus on, my low self esteem makes me feel that as he is happy he has done the right thing and we must have been so very wrong for each other??

 

anyway i'm happy that is have seem brighter glimmers of light, hope and happiness

 

Thanks for your constant support CW :)

[Shocked Suzie]

Why is does my Ex just keep kicking when i'm down!! i'm getting my head around all this, feeling like i'm getting somewhere and then he throws in another boot!

 

In AU you cant get a divorce legally for 1year...why is he pushing for me to lie and move it forward few months?? if i divorce him i have 1 year to get my act together..then financially im on my own. been wondering if she is pregnant or they intend on getting married? or is it for another reason that will benefit him financially ?? He's actually worded it as 'i just need one thing from you'...like i owe him anything anyway?? what the hell

 

i'm really alright in most areas..but when he does this sort of thing and he seems sooo happy it makes me question myself again as a person...question myself about our marriage and what i thought we had...was it all a complete lie??

 

got a headache from hell, jaw ache from stress

 

wish i could do NC but its difficult with selling and rising debt..cant wait for minimal connections with this person!

[Calvin's wagon]

Hi.

 

Aaargh, he's a moron, and I apologize to the moronic community for insulting them

 

What exactly does he want you to lie about? And did he ask you this over the phone or perhaps over the e-mail, i.e. in a way you could eventually have proof he lied (so you could protect yourself in the future)?

 

Whenever you'll doubt yourself and the past:

- try to reassure yourself of how great of a person, mom, wife, woman you are&were

- try to remind yourself that no matter what happened and will happen with him, you have been blessed with amazing kids

- contact your friends, tell them you're feeling a bit down and just talk to them for a couple of minutes, till you feel a bit better

 

 

As for what happened with him and whether it was all a lie - only he can know, but I'm pretty certain that it wasn't all a lie, but that just towards the end all of his many issues culminated in him having an affair, falling "into the fog", "affair addiction" and now the "honeymoon" stage.

 

From what you've described, he's a acting very stupidly and has many unresolved issues&character flaws, but he seems far from many men&women described here (who exhibit signs of BPD, NPD, sociopathic behaviour,...) which leads people to wonder whether he or she were acting all the time, whether it was just a lie.

 

So no, I don't think it was all a lie, but that just towards the end his unresolved issues/character flaws/immaturity/whatever you want to call it got the better of him and he's currently immersed in the honeymoon stage. The realization of what he's done is probably bubbling somewhere near the surface, but at the moment the "rush" of "happiness" etc. is helping him ignore that gut feeling of guilt.

 

As always, best wishes to you and the kids, may the Force be with you

[Shocked Suzie]

He wants me to lie about the date we separated, so he can file for divorce earlier. Instead of December he want October... I don't ever talk or text him, every thing is done via email.. So yes i have it written. Just wondered if there is some loop hole with finance he is trying on?? I don't care if its cause he wants to get married or something like that.... Just don't want to stitch myself up, plus it's law (1year) ?? What the hell does he want.

 

Try so hard to be positive n look at positives... Just knocks me!

 

His email was on the verg of begging for an early divorce... Nothing like a kick in the gut, ya ex rushing to out you

[Calvin's wagon]

Hi.

 

I don't have lots of time at the moment to sort out my thoughts or to review all the links for free legal/financial advice that I found through the internet, but hopefully it will help at least a little bit.

 

I'd strongly advise you prepare two drafts of an email/post to send to them (one for inquiring as to the posibility of receiving free advice; other for presenting your legal and financial position in more detail so that others (lawyers, people viewing legal fora etc.) will be able to have sufficient information to give you advice and/or ask you more questions. Of course, adjust the level of personal information to each addressee and where you post/send.

 

If you want, we can help you with drafting it, if you will perhaps open a new thread and start posting drafts there, and we can all chime in our opinions.

 

I'd strongly suggest you be active and send as many as you have time/energy to do. Even if the first 9 won't be good for you, the 10th might be. Except for time/energy, it doesn't cost you to ask. Also, perhaps ask some of your friends to help you with all this. And again, ask them if they know anyone who knows anyone who.... is a lawyer/financial adviser.

 

Ok, I'll now post the links - I'll try to look for more (and to check them in more detail to weed out the "bad" ones or to point out those that seem the best) when I'll have more time.

 

And again, bear in mind that I'm from a very different country and that perhaps my best-intended advice might not be most helpful... If we had lived in the same country/region, I'd be more confident regarding helping you find people that can help you.

 

Best wishes to you and the kids!

 

/////

 

AussieLegal - Free Australian legal information, useful DIY legal kits and recommended law firm referral service

 

they also have a forum where you can post legal questions

 

---

 

Caxton Legal Centre - Free Legal Advice Brisbane

 

Are you looking for legal advice?

 

Caxton Legal Centre holds free legal advice sessions on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Doors open at 6pm and no new clients are received after 7:30pm.

 

----

 

Women's Legal Service - providing legal advice to women in queensland

 

Free legal advice for women in Q'land

 

 

 

----

 

https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/managing-your-money/managing-debts/free-legal-advice

 

Free legal services

 

If you are in debt and have legal problems, you may not be able to afford a private solicitor. However, community legal centres and Legal Aid agencies offer free legal advice, and services are available in every state and territory.

 

 

----

 

Financial advice | Seniors | Queensland Government - this link is for financial advice

 

---

 

Free Financial Assistance in Queensland - Debt Rescue - another link for financial advice

 

----

 

Queensland Association of Independent Legal Services

 

---

 

 

How do I get Legal Aid? - Journey Family Lawyers

 

---

 

Contact us

 

---

 

 

Queensland Legal Assistance Forum

 

---

 

Contact us and

 

Need help to sort out a family law problem?

[Shocked Suzie]

Thank you CW .... I will look into these, unfortunately I've not Internet... Will go to library to look n fill in form... I get reconnected Friday. I've decided to move house hence the reconnection. Long story! Not really got much choice due to housing market. Aim to drop price in main house n sell quick, I'm going into investment home... Will sell that when market improves or we'll end up owing the bank money as sales won't cover mortgages.

 

So on my phone until then

 

Thank you for your help I will let u know how I get on with these Monday n will get some friends to help too

[Shocked Suzie]

Well the house has sold! ... I've moved out, now living in our investment home... Had to pull this house off the market as it was selling for too much of a loss. The move has been great, I feel a great deal of separation from the Ex, although atm we are still unfortunately connected financially. But on the house front (which I have found very stressful) I'm gonna have a good few months break.

 

... With the sale I will unfortunately have to at some stage very soon talk 'shop' with him! It's been a nice peaceful few weeks of NC 'bliss' now the financial 'fun' begins!

 

My kids have coped well with the move and like their new home, they probably won't want to move again! My last email stated that the three of them 'him n my kids' can arrange them seeing each other and possibly meeting the OW. My eldest still doesn't want to meet her, my youngest said ok but now wants to wait until my eldest wants to meet her! ... This sadly makes their time with their dad limited, due to distance and work. I'm annoyed with his lack if thought n imagination with the little time he spends with the children... This of course is noticed by the kids.

 

I'm in my final stage if my course ' very stressful and full on'! But it going pretty well atm. I got pretty upset today... Been caring for an old patient 'lovey' man, I asked his wife today how long they'd been married and she tells me that they had both been married before, had an affair. She moaned about her ex his ex... Couldn't help but wonder the conversation/picture the my ex n OW would paint about me in the future! Obviously my H wasn't happy but life wasn't bad in our little family... When the lady was about leave they looked into each others eyes with love n affection , I got so upset had to walk away... That's how I thought me n my H would end up 'in love n old together' now he will have those old moments with someone else with fake stories that will be told about me

 

Tired but stepping in the right direction... Hope all LS are doing well xx

Edited July 5, 2013 by Shocked Suzie

[Gunny376]

Your letting your imagination run wild Suzie. I've been divorced for 23 years from the XHEX.

 

Yea when I was younger I was chasing my dreams, but then I tripped on reality and busted open my head.

 

You and the kids are going to do just fine. Count your blessings and not your troubles. And you've got a lot to be thankful and grateful for. There's a lot of folks that would trade places with you and I.

 

Just as an example two years ago I couldn't find a damn job ANYWHERE! I was begging for anything I could get. Now I've got a job where I having to work twelve hour days, six days a week.

 

I should complain! I got a great boss, a pretty easy job in which I get paid for what I know and not doing 'grunt' manual labor, I like the people I work with and for, business is not only good ~ but booming and growing ~ I've a lot of latitude and longitude to move around ~ a lot of autonomy ~ discretion without a bunch of second guessing.

 

There's plenty of folks just where I work at who would love to have my job.

 

But most of all?

 

I've got a job! When there are so many STILL out here where I live that can't find a job!

 

Its all relative.

 

And No, I didn't finish up where I intended to when I first started out in Life?

 

When your find your ass up to your neck in alligators, poisonous snakes, and Indians shooting arrows at ya'? You tend to forget that when your started out? Your initial objective was to drain the swamp!

 

But as 2.5 Gallon will attest to? I ended up with Mrs. Gunny. It was Hell getting to her and to the point of finding her, appreciating her, ~

 

BUT DAMN IT WAS WORTH IT!

[Shocked Suzie]

Your right I know and thanks for the reply... I know things are not too bad for me and worse for others I just suppose its the not knowing what's around the corner that's scary at times...freaks me out! I feel like I've lost faith, when you think you know someone and then BAM! You never did! I saw my ex the other day in a DIY store... Walked past the man I married and spent 16 years with 'he didn't see me' it felt pretty odd.

 

Most of the time I can focus on the positives and see that I am lucky in so many ways, that I was fortunate to be so happy for 16 yrs and have two great kids... If it wasn't for his trade I wouldn't be living in this fantastic country too.

 

Just tired n a bit flat atm I suppose

 

Can't wait for things to settle....

[WreckedDan]

Suzie,

Welcome back. Glad to hear about the house! Big step out of the way! Get cozy where you'reat for now, the rest just keeps rolling in and you will roll right through it.

 

I know yoi can do it,

Dan

[Techie Artist]

Congrats on the house sale! I know that was a stressor for you. Sounds like you're headed in a good direction and kids are adjusting as well as can be expected. Thanks for the update, and best to you.

[Gunny376]

What she said!

 

Nothing but spades! ♠♠♠♠ Four aces High!

Edited July 7, 2013 by Gunny376

[Shocked Suzie]

Hi all...another little update & vent

 

firstly ive not been on here much only because i've had and still have a busy few weeks left of college, so i hope everyone is ok n well...those who i've chatted to i hope things have improved a little.

 

loving my new home, i wish it was permanent but things aren't great on the ex..communication and money front! he has only been 'and still is', only interested in how this is effecting him financially now and when we finally financially separate...he hasnt had any though process of how his actions will effect the kids 'he is totally self centered' i have stood my ground, after a few emails he has not responded...not sure where that leaves things but its nice for the peace n quiet lol.

 

He has managed to look like a lower income earner due to the fact that he has gone self employed and has managed to offset things via tax...this has left me from thinking i would be getting $265 pw to $199 pw....does he not see who this will effect?? he also told the kids that as he is now paying me child support he will no longer buy them takeaways!!?? he said mum needs to provide you food after he sees them...Ummmmm has always been food in the house...what a petty thing to say to the kids, this i may add is coming from a man who is atm away yet again! just have to laugh, i have a few months time on my hands and i'm just not gonna stress about it all.

 

Anyway there is a whole heap more which i wont bore you with but i can tell you its very frustrating and he is being very sly... since my last post i'd gone on yet another low on my day off early in the week i had a great counseling session thankfully, before going in i'd made a deal with myself that i would try to keep the focus on myself for a change..i got a lot out of the session. my therapist added at the end that she felt that my ex is show all the classic signs of a midlife crisis, which has been mention before but i though i'd look a little further into it....all i can say is wow he has done everything that they stated of a person in MLC...reading this info has lifted a big weight off my shoulders! its explained the 'normal' behaviors that a person has during MLC, their confusion and the mind games of pushing the guilt over to the BS...my ex has done all this and some... he has got the whole thing off to a fine art! i finally now realize so many things now and i've stopped mentally letting my mind wander into the why's whats, ifs and my faults....its helped heaps!

 

just want to add to those who have just found out about their partner having an affair or who have just up n left...its hurts like hell at first, you will have the deepest darkest moments... but it does get better, focus on yourself day by day...try not to put too much pressure on yourself 'always put your children first' and don't allow the ex to control you...box clever and be strong! allow the grieving process don't fight it!!

 

find you... heel there is light at the end of the tunnel...mine is getting brighter each day

 

SS x

[mbethb]

Suzie,

I just read through your whole thread again and our stories are quite similar although my stbxh drug out the affair (coming home, say he wanted a family, leaving again...rinse repeat). We are also different in the fact that my kids are younger 3&9 and LOVE there father and we split them 50/50.

 

I feel so weak for allowing him to do this to me for so long.

 

I just wanted to say that your posts have been inspiring. I hope we all find the peace we need tout suite!

 

I've had the worst day of the whole ordeal so far today (which I'll post on my original thread) but hearing from you...well, all of you, that it does get better helps a bit!

 

So glad the house sold and your feeling positive. Ace those exams and you'll have even more brightness in your future!

[Shocked Suzie]

Suzie,

I just read through your whole thread again and our stories are quite similar although my stbxh drug out the affair (coming home, say he wanted a family, leaving again...rinse repeat). We are also different in the fact that my kids are younger 3&9 and LOVE there father and we split them 50/50.

 

I feel so weak for allowing him to do this to me for so long.

 

I just wanted to say that your posts have been inspiring. I hope we all find the peace we need tout suite!

 

I've had the worst day of the whole ordeal so far today (which I'll post on my original thread) but hearing from you...well, all of you, that it does get better helps a bit!

 

So glad the house sold and your feeling positive. Ace those exams and you'll have even more brightness in your future!

 

Thank you for your kind words and I'm glad I've given you some hope, I will read through your post today. It has been a mental nightmare, I loved my H dearly but I now realise looking back that he had really played on my inward lower self esteem and love for him...this was because he had his own inward self disappointments... He is trying his hardest to drag me down with his self centred thoughts of how he want 'everything' to turn out... He even suggested for us to meet face to face, this is because he knows he will be able to confuse me with words... I on the other hand can hold my ground very well via email... There is no way I would meet him.

 

For me, I knew he had checked out ... i knew when he "was confused" that I had lost him, I listernd to his words and watched his body language... There was no hope for us... No more coming back n fourth.

 

I hope for your own mental health that you have drawn a perminant line in the ground and look up midlife crisis, it will help you understand their unreasonable behaviour and stop the mental torment that you are probabley experiencing from this now strainger

 

SS x

[Shocked Suzie]

This made me

 

MIDLIFE For Dummies

 

And

 

Midlife Club: About

[Yasuandio]

This made me

 

MIDLIFE For Dummies

 

And

 

Midlife Club: About

 

Dear Shocked Susie:

 

Congratulations on your fortitude. You are wise to not get in front of him in person. I am using same method. When I spot him in my territory, I jumped in my car and took off. In fact I created a whole new territory ten miles from my home in another town in the past six months. I am taking no chances of running into that little creep, or him catching me off guard. Be careful Susie, for that little maneuver. It's coming one day for you, I promise.

 

May I ask? Would you be so kind as to post this info on the "Pinned" thread "Critical Readings on Separation and Divorce" please.

 

This format is helpful:

 

1. Subject Heading (Mid-Life Crisis)

2. 250 your words about resources.

3. A particular quote (defintion, etc.) from cited resource, but most important,

4. LINKS To Resources

 

Hope you will contribute what you have learned to the thread (link is also below). Thank you, Yas

[Shocked Suzie]

Dear Shocked Susie:

 

Congratulations on your fortitude. You are wise to not get in front of him in person. I am using same method. When I spot him in my territory, I jumped in my car and took off. In fact I created a whole new territory ten miles from my home in another town in the past six months. I am taking no chances of running into that little creep, or him catching me off guard. Be careful Susie, for that little maneuver. It's coming one day for you, I promise.

 

May I ask? Would you be so kind as to post this info on the "Pinned" thread "Critical Readings on Separation and Divorce" please.

 

This format is helpful:

 

1. Subject Heading (Mid-Life Crisis)

2. 250 your words about resources.

3. A particular quote (defintion, etc.) from cited resource, but most important,

4. LINKS To Resources

 

Hope you will contribute what you have learned to the thread (link is also below). Thank you, Yas

 

Thank you I've posted the links to an already fantastic thread.

 

 

Funny I though the day after I responded to his yet another unreasonable selfish email, that he had come around to the house the next morning in anger! A ute just like his parked outside my house and I though s@!t! Sod it ill ignore the door lol and call the cops if I have to but thankfully when I peeked out of the window again it wasn't him... After that moment I thought the same 'probably wont be long' ... I'll get my running shoes on

 

 

Thanks Yas

 

SS x

[Shocked Suzie]

Ok so I'm feeling pretty good, feel like I'm going forward and have goals, aims ... Graduate next week 'will be a nurse finally'. I still feel like I've turned a corner , my last counselling session and reading up about mid life crisis really helped me understand things. I know there is no turning back, im positively looking forward, getting back into fitness goals after my study, i feel nothing when I see my ex...

 

...Feeling a bit crap about 'me' !?!

 

I've just been chatted up by a nice guys in my local DIY store, I chatted to him...but I really wanted to just run! I didnt take him up on his offer, should be flattered but came out if there feeling totally flat n cried!! What's that all about?? I want to move on but atm just want to be left alone, seriously lacking confidence in the dating area, a lot in myself and really don't think I can trust another sole in a relationship... Feel like hibernating

 

Confused

 

SS x

[SmithJ]

Hi Suzie,

 

Just read some of your thread. I feel similar to you in the sense that you've got goals to look forward to but you just cant seem to be interested in other guys. For me it's been just over 2 months, we wernt married but we did live together. He came back last weekend and I thought we would be getting back together, he stayed the night then decided it was best that we didn't get back together! I felt used and then he didn't reply to my 3 texts so I was then used and desperate.

 

I feel like I miss the company of a man and I know it will be nice to be loved again but when I get the attention it just makes me miss my ex more and miss what we had together.

 

I feel rubbish about myself too, I feel fat and ugly and more than anything pretty lonely. This forum helps though. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone.

[Shocked Suzie]

.... The backlash of being left high n dry plays with your self esteem doesn't it.

As you may have read I too gave my ex a couple of chances too 'don't regret doing that' it shows you n I loved them, there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe it's just time we need?? Who knows

 

 

I feel very confused 'within myself' atm. I feel positive and get excited at the thought of some me time, my re build... I am comfortable within my own personal space, i know who I am, i have stuck through all this with the same beliefs and actions since day one, i know what I want and what I don't want in life... But then still have so much self doubt and that im not worthy?? Feel like my marriage was one big lie... but have two fantastic grounded kids to prove that it wasn't. I have the feeling that I would love to date and trust...but couldn't think if anything worse!? I want to move forward and hide!! Lol is that possible!?!? So confused!!

 

SS x

Edited August 19, 2013 by Shocked Suzie

[SmithJ]

I'm the same. I'd love to love again and be loved but I cant imagine not thinking of the ex or wishing it was the ex even though I loved him I know we were not compatible, he's a very selfish person and quite immature, I just need to let that go now I think but I keep thinking 'what if'.

 

In a way I'm glad what happened did happen because he text me saying ' I can see how much you love and care for me and how much you're changing/changed' so at least he knows that I 100% fought for him and was willing to adjust, I just need to come to terms with it still not being enough. I know I deserve better.

 

What worries me is the Christmas holidays, I've always hated being single at Christmas, all the romantic Christmas films are on tv, there's an ice rink where I live full of happy couples. Christmas is made for happy families, not sad singles. I suppose I'll save money on gifts though.

 

I think what's hard is the rejection and the way you thought your life was 'meant' to play out. I know that I've got a lot to look forward to in life it's just hard knowing that you cant be with the one you thought you would be with.

 

I'm trying to make myself feel better by going to the gym, early nights and spending time with family but there's times (like last night) when all I can do is cry and feel hopeless. I know it isn't the end of the world and one day I'll look back at this and think 'I cant believe I wasted so much time feeling sad about that guy'

 

We just need to focus on loving ourselves as we can only rely on ourselves. I need to take my own advice! I recently read Bridget Jones' diary and it's so funny, if you haven't already give it a go, it really cheered me up. I'm onto the second book now, it's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling like this x

[Shocked Suzie]

I'm the same. I'd love to love again and be loved but I cant imagine not thinking of the ex or wishing it was the ex even though I loved him I know we were not compatible, he's a very selfish person and quite immature, I just need to let that go now I think but I keep thinking 'what if'.

 

In a way I'm glad what happened did happen because he text me saying ' I can see how much you love and care for me and how much you're changing/changed' so at least he knows that I 100% fought for him and was willing to adjust, I just need to come to terms with it still not being enough. I know I deserve better.

 

Does this confuse you?? do you think he is trying to make you hold on?? Mine is the opposite, he has show only anger, no remorse at all towards me...it used to make me feel 'still does SOMETIMES' that because of the way he is, makes what he has done 'as right'....i know thats silly but until i looked in mid life madness/fog, i thought that he seems to be so certain he has done the right thing that there must have been something so deeply wrong with our relationship 'in my heart' i know this isn't true...but because as the BS and that feeling of such low self worth after being rejected your mind tends to only want to focus on the negatives...well mine does anyway

 

What worries me is the Christmas holidays, I've always hated being single at Christmas, all the romantic Christmas films are on tv, there's an ice rink where I live full of happy couples. Christmas is made for happy families, not sad singles. I suppose I'll save money on gifts though.

 

I'm not looking forward to Xmas either, its a difficult time isn't it...all my family live in the UK and he left us 1 week before Xmas...putting the tree up again this year will bring difficult thoughts and emotions probably....i will deal with that nearer the time

 

I think what's hard is the rejection and the way you thought your life was 'meant' to play out. I know that I've got a lot to look forward to in life it's just hard knowing that you cant be with the one you thought you would be with.

 

I know exactly what you mean...i think this and the lie's are what i find the hardest!...more so than the fact that he left.

 

 

I'm trying to make myself feel better by going to the gym, early nights and spending time with family but there's times (like last night) when all I can do is cry and feel hopeless. I know it isn't the end of the world and one day I'll look back at this and think 'I cant believe I wasted so much time feeling sad about that guy'

 

We will think this in time 'i do at times already' who wants a person in their life which is willing to treat you n i with such little respect. we just need to keep doing what we are doing in taking steps forward, making ourselves feel better within.

 

We just need to focus on loving ourselves as we can only rely on ourselves. I need to take my own advice! I recently read Bridget Jones' diary and it's so funny, if you haven't already give it a go, it really cheered me up. I'm onto the second book now, it's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling like this x

 

So very true!!

 

ha will have to read it, will get it as a holiday read for when i eventually get the chance to go on a well needed break

 

thanks so much for responding, you to have made me feel like i'm just being as normal as possible on this difficult journey....keep posting

 

be strong

 

SS x:)

[Shocked Suzie]

House sale No2 ... Looks like its going to come sooner than I thought! The ex has decided not to pay his part of the mortgage, so yet another move! Had a really low day the other day, but came to the mindset of its probably for the best to just get things dealt with soon rather than later! The for sale board will go up in a weeks time... Then i suppose I will be that much closer to my freedom... Just feel for my kids as they are happy here, but sadly not much can be done. I've been frantically trying to get my own mortgage, considered asking him to help me by keeping his name on the mortgage so I can keep the house.... Just came to the conclusion it's really best to cut ties, he's proved himself 'yet again' unreliable and selfish beyond belief!

 

Must admit the thought of no more if this worrying about houses and money is make this move much easier to deal with... So annoyed my future has been altered so much by a selfish act of someone I trusted and once loved so much....

 

Feeling stronger each day, getting my own life back into my own hands .. Another stepping stone in the right direction is what I keep telling myself

 

SS x .... Gotta deal with bombardment of bloody real estates

[Mr. Lucky]

What I learned in divorce is that every step forward has its price - emotional, physical, spiritual - or financial. And in hindsight, each price was worth it as a part of feeling hopeful and positive about life and the future.

 

So imagine you and your kids in your own place, no worries about the rent or mortgage and under no influence from someone who clearly doesn't care. Sweet, huh? You'll get there...

 

Mr. Lucky