HopingAgain Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I just had to gush a little bit...we returned from our weekend at the Retrovauille weekend, and I wanted to report it is every bit as dynamic as acclaimed to be! Going in on Friday, I had a lot of doubts if this program would help us, as counseling hadn't had great or noticeable results, and the affair DH had was still very fresh in my mind. My DH had his own doubts and a lot of built in resentment and hopelessness as the weekend started. We almost didn't go because of our apphrension. The support and knowledge and awareness we started to receive upon arriving still seems unreal. We met couples who'd been together 40+ years, some who had endured affairs so intense and painful it made our experience feel like childs play by comparison. We were encouraged and taught to communicate and share with eachother in ways I thought no longer seemed possible. My husband opened up to me about his affair and bared his soul in ways he hasn't since D day. He also finally showed that "he got" and understood how he caused me to feel and the role both he and OW played in the damage caused to our marriage. A weight has lifted off of me, and off of him as well. We are genuinely unburdened by negativity in ways we havent felt in YEARS before the affair! We still have a ways to go, and several post weekend sessions to complete, but just wanted to share my excitement and hope for those who may feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel for their marriage after finding out about your Spouses affair. I am more than cautiously optimistic, I am feeling, no WE, are feeling absolute joy and anticipation about rebuilding our marriage again! 5
BetrayedH Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Great post, HopingAgain. I have yet to hear a negative story from a Retrouaville experience. Glad to hear that yours was no exception. 1
Jonah Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 We did something like this a while back... Knowledge we could have used a long time ago. Yet I wonder if we would have had the classes before if we really would have listened. I think some experience is what it takes to make the information relevant... something we could relate to. Did you get to renew your vows at the end of the program? Congrats on your breakthrough!
eleanorrigby Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 We went to Retrovauille too! *high fives my weekend sister* I know what you mean about seeing couples that had gone through affair experiences that would have landed me in the nuthatch up there sharing. (and mine was pretty damn bad!) It was like being at a survivors meeting, I guess in a way it was. 1
Author HopingAgain Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 We did something like this a while back... Knowledge we could have used a long time ago. Yet I wonder if we would have had the classes before if we really would have listened. I think some experience is what it takes to make the information relevant... something we could relate to. Did you get to renew your vows at the end of the program? Congrats on your breakthrough! Jonah, I definately think having some experience with marital difficulties is vital to getting the most out of the program. Its very much tailored to couples who have had trouble communicating or handling conflict. Its truly like an ICU for marriage. I think its sister program, Marriage Encounter, is more tailored towards couples who aren't in immediate crisis and just want a refresher. We didn't have a vow renewal, but did something very similar to that, a rededication of sorts. It was so inspiring and humbling to see so many couples have breakthroughs!
Author HopingAgain Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 We went to Retrovauille too! *high fives my weekend sister* I know what you mean about seeing couples that had gone through affair experiences that would have landed me in the nuthatch up there sharing. (and mine was pretty damn bad!) It was like being at a survivors meeting, I guess in a way it was. *High Fives back* Eleanor, it was very much like attending a survivors meeting, so much strength and support was flowing through there! I truly admire the presenting couples, they were so strong and selfless to share and relive some of the most troubling times.of their lives to help.others! I was and am still very much in awe! 1
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