Seperated and

[EmotionallyDriven]

Hi everyone, this is my first post... My husband and I started dating 7 years ago; he has two daughters and I have one son (all from previous marriages). We started dating and I was attracted to him being a full time single father, me a full time single mother, and we both have good jobs, etc. About 6 months before our wedding I came across some text messages to a girl he'd met that day which were flirty and he was referring to me as "what if I told you I was seeing someone"... I confronted him and he said he was just being childish and it wouldn't happen again. I also called the girl and she said she had no idea he had a girlfriend, let alone finance', until he asked that question via text, and therefore she wanted no part of it. A few months before our wedding, he was acting "off" for lack of a better word.. he was picking random arguments with me, etc. I had a feeling something was going on... So one day when he was in shower, his other cell phone got a text and sure enough, it was some other girl. I didn't say anything, but to make a long story short, I eventually called her and she confessed to me that she had been talking, texting and meeting up with him here and there for about two months, and yes they had sex one time, which was three days before this conversation I was having with her. I confronted him, he called her a homewrecker (which I know because he called her and she in turn called and told me) I should mention she was married also and was very nervous I would call her husband and therefore was very honest with me.

I went to counseling. I had just lost a parent and two grandparents the year before and blamed myself thinking maybe I had't been as attentive as I should've been to him... We still got married a few months later, this was five years ago. We have various issues, discipling the kids, financial stuff, all those things, but at my core I love him, and yet I don't really trust him. I question "is it just me" Am I that insecure?! I am attractive, have a good job, good personality, a big heart, etc, but I question if it isn't me....

Two and a half years ago I noticed the same pattern coming back... he was picking fights etc. I found out he had another cell phone, and had in fact been talking, texting and seen a few times, a different girl. While they did not have sex, it was devastating just the same. He said it wasn't cheating becuase they didn't have sex, I forgave him again...I guess, becuase I stayed. We live in his house, that he had previous to me. At any rate, a few months after that "affair" our sex life became completely non-existent, and we fell into roommate mode. Most nights we barely even said goodnight to each other. We argue and don't agree on many things. He feels I favor my son, which I do not. He thinks I don't bring enough to the table financically and I make more than he does... So, in January I told him I was going to move out, that we should seperate. I did just that. My son and I live right up the street. He and my son have a very distant relationship, he is the man who typically calls out everything the kids do wrong, it's just who he is, and frankly my son doesn't like that at all. In the three months we have been moved out, I see his daughters almost everyday, i talk to the EVERYday, I have them over here to stay the night, I'm engaged in their schoolwork etc. He has come across the street to see us, four times. We did go to counseling immediately when I moved out and did so together for three weeks, since then I have been going alone every week.

Moving out was the single most hardest thing I have done. The day I moved out I told him I wanted to come back home, and the next day and the next day... He would say "I don't need you two here, there's less stress and you need to work on your son's attitude anyway". That continued for about five weeks, but he also said "i love you and am committed to this relationship".

So, im in month three now. Two weeks ago he asked me if I was ready to move back. I talked to him and said "you're the one who has been telling me over and over again that if we come back things will blow up again, why now". At any rate, I am so confused. Counseling is helping, but even my counselor said "do not think you deserve to be happy? you do".

maybe i'm getting used to being over here. I've lost 25 pounds since I moved out, the stress was the absolute worst ever. I blame myself so much and think "what if this was a mistake". But then this part of me knows that we still argue over the same things over and over again.

So, can someone talk to me and tellme that all of this is normal... or help me understand why I feel so guilty, why I'm afraid to really, completely lose him; yet I'm not sure I want it back to normal yet.... help.. thanks

[LeGenDary_Man]

Prior to marrying this guy, you had a REG FLAG but you chose to ignore it. You made a bad choice and now you are paying the price for it. From your disclosure, your husband sounds like a serial cheater.

 

If MC did you no good then you may need to read this:

 

Laura Doyle: 6 Reasons Marriage Counseling is BS

 

You may give this service a try as well: Marriage Counseling - Free Advice from Marriage Counselors, Marriage Therapy

[dreamingoftigers]

Sigh....

 

You feel guilty because you are in a constant free fall living with a serial cheater, or not living with him. Whichever. It's directionless unless he gets his crap in gear and actually wants to solve the marital problems as a team, instead of dumping blame on you. Which you readily accept because you are used to it.

 

I know. I'm married to a serial cheat. I found out three years into marriage and eight months pregnant. But I digress.

 

The number that his cheating has already done on your self-esteem makes you not feel all that great, couples with the shame of a partner that would do so, added in with the fact that he blames you and messes with your head, including the fact that YOU take your wedding vows seriously all add up to a heap of guilt and shame. Whether it's logical or not.

 

What I required, and often still do was sorting out the responsibility of what lies where and with whom.

 

His sh*t is very sh*tty. It stinks and he won't clean it up. Or he does it slowly. Or he says "well if you dont like the stink, you do it."

 

But yet he still notices a coffee ring stain on a table if yours 50 feet away and that becomes the focal point of his blame.

 

Instead of noticing the closet full of steaming diharrea that he insists on cleaning up a teaspoon-full a day, or week, or month etc...

 

It becomes about your damned coffee-ring.

 

Let's be really honest here. He probably isn't an "evil" guy. There's obviously something about him that you like or liked. But his behaviour, respect, consideration and attitude towards the marriage make the closet full of diharrea a better place to hang put than your marriage.

 

And honestly, I recognize this, full-on......you are getting anywhere near healthily pissed off about this. I didn't either, for YEARS. because the depression and desire to numb myself from the pain of not being accepted and cherished in a marriage I was putting everything into zapped the Hell out of me. It also made me feel guilty and ashamed as well.

 

He's telling you, through word and action, but usually more through actions that don't match words (just like every other effing serial cheat does)

essentially. "hey, wife. Come and be responsible for yourself, look, just look at that coffee-ring! That's crap, absolute crap! How can you live that way? Take responsibility for it! And while you're at it, clean the closet. Because if you would have toilet-trained me properly, I wouldn't sh*t in the closet!"

 

(I'm sorry my analogies are very rough and unpretty today, I usually try something a little more flowery or emotionally engaging).

 

See that? this is the kind of guy who is sh*tting innhis own house and asking you to take responsibility for it. Right now he's acting like you are "punishing" him for taking a dump in the closet instead of enforcing your own boundary to not live with someone that expects you to deal with a crap-covered closet day to day and not complain about the smell. And if you do, it's your fault.

 

You knew he wasn't toilet-trained when you were engaged. Well, he gets half-points for that. You did smell something early on, but you thought it was just a couple of "accidents" and not that he didn't know how to use proper facilities at all. But the truth came out in your marriage. He isn't trained. He's only halfway interested in getting trained, and really him being an un-toilet-trained adult male is.....well....disgusting. And not something you want to clean up for the rest of your life. You aren't punishing him for not being "trained."

 

You are staying out of that stink-filled nightmare until he can use the damn toilet! Which most people can and do!

 

I know the analogy isn't the A-1 greatest. But really, if you look at the context of the cheating, bitching, criticizing and being insulting from a guy who craps in his closet.....well.....the lines of responsibility start to look a lot clearer.

 

Frankly, I would rather live with a closet-crapper than a serial cheat. But the underlying point is and remains.....he can't expect ANYONE to out up with his closet crapping, and saying dumb stuff like "this time was just a small turd, I didn't eat at Taco Bell before going in the closet!" is of no comfort for the spouse of someone with such a compulsion!

 

Do not go home until he can show that he's an adult male who can properly conduct himself and wash his hands of his "bad behaviour."

 

His insistence that you need to do more to help or improve his situation is like him saying that you need to give him a better hose to try to get the closet washed out. Ridiculous.

 

You KNOW it doesn't make sense that you make more and he says you don't contribute enough. Enough for whom? Enough for what? To refinish the closet?

 

God....and to be hard and critical to your son. Honey, you need to kick his ass.

 

I know, it's scary the first time you boot him hard. (not literally)

Honestly, it took sheer insanity to put my husband out the door.

 

Also, getting onto an anti-depressant helped. Everytime I feel that crushing hurt that makes me want to cry or sleep, I just think "eff that. If he's going to push, I push back."

 

It's contrary to so much we are taught and read. But some people are those damned people that only respect you when you break their foot for stepping on your toes. I tried "healthy, empathetic, boundaries, counseling, love love love." for YEARS. Slow gains. Didn't get it.

 

He always accused me of "being angry" or trying to "manipulate him" when I was in desperate pain. He's seen me on the ground sobbing my heart out and he'd just yell at me about it.

 

Not anymore. Eff him. (thank you Wellbutrin). And by the way, they don't leave, they just whine and threaten it. Serial cheats always play this game. You can't "nice" them, they just feel manipulated.

So, after I got on my anti-depressant, he pulled his passive-aggressive crap (btw, he hasn't cheated in a long time, he had a harsh kick to reality a year ago). Anyhow, I yelled back. And he escalated it. Then I had enough. I told him exactly what I thought and gave him this super-disgusted look when I left the room and didn't contact him until long after he contacted me.

 

My 180 for real was getting angry. It was actually a great release.

 

You might want to look up the Divorce-Busting 180.

 

By the way, eventually you hit a place where you say to yourself, "if he doesn't want to stop crapping in the closet, FINE he can have his crap , play in it for all I care!"

 

He's probably already telling you that you're "too angry/demanding/controlling etc." anyway. I honestly think it's a defense against you becoming angry or asserting yourself. Do not assert yourself half-assed with this guy. He's practically begging to get dumped, at the very least he's begging for an attitude adjustment.

 

He probably won't see it being anything but manipulation until he finds a steel toe up his rear.

[Mr. Lucky]

We still got married a few months later, this was five years ago. We have various issues, discipling the kids, financial stuff, all those things, but at my core I love him, and yet I don't really trust him.

EmotionallyDriven, if I gave you eggs, butter, milk, flour and a bowl of turds, you'd be hard pressed to make anything other than a sh*t souffle. And that's exactly what you've done - you've taken some good things, a relationship with his daughters, a stable environment for your son, a life you've tried to build, but have poisoned the mix by including a narcissistic, dishonest, unfaithful dirtbag of a husband. This was a predictable train wreck waiting to happen.

 

Are you surprised at how this has played out? If anything, his behavior has been incredibly consistent since you first caught him with his pants down 6 months before your wedding.

 

You owe your son a better life. Hell, you owe yourself a better life. Make a list of the pros and cons of ending your marriage and I'd guess one column would be considerably larger than the other. Time to get out so you won't be here 5 years from now posting "So one day when he was in shower, his other cell phone got a text..."

 

Mr. Lucky

[dreamingoftigers]

OP, I hope that you come back and update.

 

Sorry we crapped on your thread.

[2.50 a gallon]

To be honest, he is a serial cheater and never will change his ways

 

This is not a subtle feeling you get in you gut, but proven several times

 

His issues with you making more money and the relationship between he and your son are all BS. It sounds as if it was all his attitude that made it this way.

[GuyInLimbo]

Jesus..... You really need to be told to get as far away as possible from this scumbag? You know what to do. He's a serial cheater. He's disrespected you since you've been together. You've basically enabled him by letting him get away with it and "forgiving" him every time. You take him back and what's going to change? Absolutely nothing. And he's going to stomp on your heart again and again.

 

You "don't really trust him"????? Really? He doesn't deserve one ounce of trust ever again. Sorry, but you take this ********* back and I really have no sympathy for you. His scummy behavior is not your fault. But you staying with him and expecting him to change and love you...and moan and groan when he's banging a new woman... WILL BE your fault.

 

Get him out of your life and work on why you don't think you deserve love, respect and happiness. Don't even DATE until you've accomplished that.

[Cali408]

Go file a divorce. He doesn't like your son and has no respect for you. The reason your head is spinning is because you're questioning whether you can go at it alone. Yes you can. If not for you, for your son.

 

How many times have you read about men or women whose childhood was messed up because of a dysfunctional home life? You deserve better and so does he. You want your son to say, "my mom protected me and when our well being was in question, she pulled the plug." That's what a real woman or man does.

 

Good luck, but move on. MC is a complete waste of time.

[Cali408]

Go file a divorce. He doesn't like your son and has no respect for you. The reason your head is spinning is because you're questioning whether you can go at it alone. Yes you can. If not for you, for your son.

 

How many times have you read about men or women whose childhood was messed up because of a dysfunctional home life? You deserve better and so does he. You want your son to say, "my mom protected me and when our well being was in question, she pulled the plug." That's what a real woman or man does.

 

Good luck, but move on. MC is a complete waste of time.

[Steen719]

Sigh....

 

You feel guilty because you are in a constant free fall living with a serial cheater, or not living with him. Whichever. It's directionless unless he gets his crap in gear and actually wants to solve the marital problems as a team, instead of dumping blame on you. Which you readily accept because you are used to it.

 

I know. I'm married to a serial cheat. I found out three years into marriage and eight months pregnant. But I digress.

 

The number that his cheating has already done on your self-esteem makes you not feel all that great, couples with the shame of a partner that would do so, added in with the fact that he blames you and messes with your head, including the fact that YOU take your wedding vows seriously all add up to a heap of guilt and shame. Whether it's logical or not.

 

What I required, and often still do was sorting out the responsibility of what lies where and with whom.

 

His sh*t is very sh*tty. It stinks and he won't clean it up. Or he does it slowly. Or he says "well if you dont like the stink, you do it."

 

But yet he still notices a coffee ring stain on a table if yours 50 feet away and that becomes the focal point of his blame.

 

Instead of noticing the closet full of steaming diharrea that he insists on cleaning up a teaspoon-full a day, or week, or month etc...

 

It becomes about your damned coffee-ring.

 

Let's be really honest here. He probably isn't an "evil" guy. There's obviously something about him that you like or liked. But his behaviour, respect, consideration and attitude towards the marriage make the closet full of diharrea a better place to hang put than your marriage.

 

And honestly, I recognize this, full-on......you are getting anywhere near healthily pissed off about this. I didn't either, for YEARS. because the depression and desire to numb myself from the pain of not being accepted and cherished in a marriage I was putting everything into zapped the Hell out of me. It also made me feel guilty and ashamed as well.

 

He's telling you, through word and action, but usually more through actions that don't match words (just like every other effing serial cheat does)

essentially. "hey, wife. Come and be responsible for yourself, look, just look at that coffee-ring! That's crap, absolute crap! How can you live that way? Take responsibility for it! And while you're at it, clean the closet. Because if you would have toilet-trained me properly, I wouldn't sh*t in the closet!"

 

(I'm sorry my analogies are very rough and unpretty today, I usually try something a little more flowery or emotionally engaging).

 

See that? this is the kind of guy who is sh*tting innhis own house and asking you to take responsibility for it. Right now he's acting like you are "punishing" him for taking a dump in the closet instead of enforcing your own boundary to not live with someone that expects you to deal with a crap-covered closet day to day and not complain about the smell. And if you do, it's your fault.

 

You knew he wasn't toilet-trained when you were engaged. Well, he gets half-points for that. You did smell something early on, but you thought it was just a couple of "accidents" and not that he didn't know how to use proper facilities at all. But the truth came out in your marriage. He isn't trained. He's only halfway interested in getting trained, and really him being an un-toilet-trained adult male is.....well....disgusting. And not something you want to clean up for the rest of your life. You aren't punishing him for not being "trained."

 

You are staying out of that stink-filled nightmare until he can use the damn toilet! Which most people can and do!

 

I know the analogy isn't the A-1 greatest. But really, if you look at the context of the cheating, bitching, criticizing and being insulting from a guy who craps in his closet.....well.....the lines of responsibility start to look a lot clearer.

 

Frankly, I would rather live with a closet-crapper than a serial cheat. But the underlying point is and remains.....he can't expect ANYONE to out up with his closet crapping, and saying dumb stuff like "this time was just a small turd, I didn't eat at Taco Bell before going in the closet!" is of no comfort for the spouse of someone with such a compulsion!

 

Do not go home until he can show that he's an adult male who can properly conduct himself and wash his hands of his "bad behaviour."

 

His insistence that you need to do more to help or improve his situation is like him saying that you need to give him a better hose to try to get the closet washed out. Ridiculous.

 

You KNOW it doesn't make sense that you make more and he says you don't contribute enough. Enough for whom? Enough for what? To refinish the closet?

 

God....and to be hard and critical to your son. Honey, you need to kick his ass.

 

I know, it's scary the first time you boot him hard. (not literally)

Honestly, it took sheer insanity to put my husband out the door.

 

Also, getting onto an anti-depressant helped. Everytime I feel that crushing hurt that makes me want to cry or sleep, I just think "eff that. If he's going to push, I push back."

 

It's contrary to so much we are taught and read. But some people are those damned people that only respect you when you break their foot for stepping on your toes. I tried "healthy, empathetic, boundaries, counseling, love love love." for YEARS. Slow gains. Didn't get it.

 

He always accused me of "being angry" or trying to "manipulate him" when I was in desperate pain. He's seen me on the ground sobbing my heart out and he'd just yell at me about it.

 

Not anymore. Eff him. (thank you Wellbutrin). And by the way, they don't leave, they just whine and threaten it. Serial cheats always play this game. You can't "nice" them, they just feel manipulated.

So, after I got on my anti-depressant, he pulled his passive-aggressive crap (btw, he hasn't cheated in a long time, he had a harsh kick to reality a year ago). Anyhow, I yelled back. And he escalated it. Then I had enough. I told him exactly what I thought and gave him this super-disgusted look when I left the room and didn't contact him until long after he contacted me.

 

My 180 for real was getting angry. It was actually a great release.

 

You might want to look up the Divorce-Busting 180.

 

By the way, eventually you hit a place where you say to yourself, "if he doesn't want to stop crapping in the closet, FINE he can have his crap , play in it for all I care!"

 

He's probably already telling you that you're "too angry/demanding/controlling etc." anyway. I honestly think it's a defense against you becoming angry or asserting yourself. Do not assert yourself half-assed with this guy. He's practically begging to get dumped, at the very least he's begging for an attitude adjustment.

 

He probably won't see it being anything but manipulation until he finds a steel toe up his rear.

 

Really good analysis for you OP. Once you have been where you are and are out of that, you can see how bad it really was.

 

Run, run, run. Don't worry about him, at least for a while and hopefully never again. Worry about your son and your relationship with him.. Make his life the best you can. That is the one who will love you when all is said and done.

 

Your husband is self-centered and selfish. It has been said on these threads that there comes a time when you become a volunteer instead of a victim. You are there, ED. I have been there , too, so believe me, I know what that does to your self esteem. No judgement here - just the truth. GET OUT NOW!

[trippi1432]

At any rate, I am so confused. Counseling is helping, but even my counselor said "do not think you deserve to be happy? you do".

 

OP - I do hope you come back to read what other's have said about your marriage. Right here, what you have said in that sentence and your counselor noted....you really need to look at this and how you have been conditioned to think about yourself.

 

I don't think I need to reiterate anything that anyone else has told you here, it's been spot on. What I would ask you is to really step back and look at the big picture and ask yourself why you are even second-guessing getting away from this man.

 

Here's one thing I would love for you to do, make this your mantra, say it every single day....any time you are feeling low...any time you are feeling hurt, scared...I want you to feel this mantra well up inside you and I want you to repeat it stronger and stronger every single day.

 

Repeat this to yourself...even in a mirror: I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND I AM TAKING CONTROL OF MY OWN LIFE FOR MYSELF AND MY CHILDREN!!!

[dreamingoftigers]

Yeah, how he treats your son overrides the rest.

 

Never let a guy who craps in his own closet tell you that your son has issues. Seriously. What a dick.

[Gunny376]

Well the really GOOD news is that it would seem that those penis enlargement pills the DH has been taking all of these years are beginning to pay off! He's turning into a bigger and bigger prick with each passing day!

 

I get that you love the schmuck? What I don't get is WHY?

 

I'm just not seeing whereas he's bringing all that much the party? In as a matter of fact, it would seem to me that your the one that's bringing the pizza, the sofa drinks, the beer, the pretzels, the cold cuts, the buns, etc, and about all he's doing is ever so now and again is showing up? I mean seriously WTF?

 

You've got a good job, you make more money than he does, you've said yourself your not hard to look at, that your got all the right attributes of a woman ~ sharing, caring, nurturing, giving, etc?

 

Meanwhile he's working more action on the side than Minnesota Fats working a billiard table? You yourself have stated that your sex life with this clown is in tha' toilet? You would probally get more action from the Energizer Bunny and his "Special Friend" than this clown?

 

Your doing a serious disservice to your DS, and to his two DD's by allowing this crap to go on.

 

You need to sign his happy azz up for some serious 2-4-6 foot surgery!

 

That is its going to take two doctors, four nurses, six hours to get your foot out of his azz after you kick his azz to tha' curb! :mad:

 

The only difference between your marriage and the Titanic going under is that the Titantic had a band playing as she went down.

 

Seriously, its hard ~ damn hard to kiss the lips of someone at night that chewed on your azz all day long?

 

Where in tha' Hell did you ever get it into your pretty little head that this Joker is the one and only ~ the best that you can do? That he's the best that you deserve? Where's your self respect? Where's your pride? Where's your self worth?

 

As a man I would never treat any woman like he has you! Never have and never will. I would say that I would open a big old 55 gallon drum of industrial strength 'whop-azz' if my SIL ever did this crap to my daughter.

 

But she's my daughter, and I raised her not to take any crap off any man. The SIL pulled this crap on her? All I want is a little advance notice so I can run by the store and pick up some brew-skies and ice for the ice chest, and sit out in my lawn chair to watch tha' show! It would be better than watching "Top 20 Stupidest People" on Tru TV ~ except live!

 

Seriously you deserve better. Life is short ~ its really is ~ somewhere around the age of forty life just zooms by you and before you know it? Your fifty! Years become like months, months like days, weeks like days, days like hours and hours like minutes.

 

Way to precious to waste on some clown like this. Especially the days of your youth, because once they're gone? They're gone! With each passing day you health, your strength, your mental, emotional, pyschological health declines. To maintain that which you had in your youth in your older years requires laying and maintaining a good solid foundation in your youth. (People say all the time ~ "I don't want to die! I'm scared to die!" News Flash for ya' Sport Fans! ~ You started 'dying' the day you were born! Its not a question of "if" its one day going to happen? But "when" its going to happen!)

 

This is true in any and all aspects of your life ~ mental, emotional, physical, pyschological, financial, etc. You can play today and pay for the rest of your life? Or you can pay today and play for the rest of your life.

 

Your wasting time ~ precious years of your life on this clown. The investment of time, effort, energy, (mental, emotional, pyschological, physical, financial) simply isn't worth all the crap that you've got to put up with, deal with, listen to, choke down on.

 

You don't need this azzhat around to run you down, put you down, make you feel like crap! You don't need this Jack Azz around to beat you up everyday!

 

There's PLEANTY of people out here in the World just waiting for outside your front door who would be more than glad to do all of that for you!

 

Just to see tha' look on your face!

 

Now that you've got a clear pretty picture of what you're NOT wanting and needing in a Man? Go and find yourself one that's deserving of your love and affection, that appreciates you for the unique individual and human being that you are. That's going to fall down on his ever-loving knees everyday and say "Thank You, God!" for having you in and a part of his life.

 

Who's not going to take you for granted, who's going to cherish you, protect you, provide for you, be a partner to you, be honest to you, who places no demands on you, put not limitations on you for your affections, who's self assured, self confident, self validating. A man who doesn't have to go out and scrogg every and anything that has a vagina ~ that treats a woman as nothing more than a VLSS ~ a vaginal life support system.

 

Cheaters? Be they women or men? Are seriously insecure, immature, emotionally thwarted ~ handicapped, simple-weak minded individuals who if you let them? Will drag you down into their own little version of Hell. They live in a fantasy world, usually populated by a population of one ~ themselves!

 

Keep on trucking the way you've been truckin'

 

There t'ain't nuthin' wrong with you! He's the simple ~ weak minded SOB!

 

When his dumb azz wakes up to what he lost? When he quits drinking tha' Kool Aid, (And he will!)

 

You look at him with the steel cold blue eyes of reality and tell him:

 

"Sorry? I really am! But you had your chance at 'this" and you blew it! Hate to be the one to tell you this?

 

But?

 

YOUR OUT OF GAS MOTHER-TRUCKER! SEE YA' WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YOU!"

Edited April 25, 2013 by Gunny376

[Gunny376]

But she's my daughter, and I raised her not to take any crap off any man. The SIL pulled this crap on her? All I want is a little advance notice so I can run by the store and pick up some brew-skies and ice for the ice chest, and sit out in my lawn chair to watch tha' show! It would be better than watching "Top 20 Stupidest People" on Tru TV ~ except live!

 

We Marines don't worry to much about our daughters when they go out on a date. Or as a a friend of mine, a Marine Master Gunnery Sergeant told one of his daughters dates when he told him:

 

"Don't worry Mr. Master Guns! I'll take care of her and make sure she gets home on time, and safe!"

 

Master Guns: "OH! Its not her I'm worried about? Its YOU that I'm worried about!" (DD is a black belt in Taekwondo, studied and achieved rank in Aikido (Think Steven Segal) three years they were stationed in Japan, long distance runner, long distance swimmer)

[2sunny]

You've ignored his cheating for years.

 

Be glad you have a chance to get out now!!!

 

Lie for divorce immediately!

 

And move far away from him.

 

Stop being his doormat!

[EmotionallyDriven]

Thanks everyone.. I'm so glad to see all of the support on this site.. I guess the feelings I have are those of the simple fact that I know I wasn't perfect and now I feel guilty, like I should be trying harder... I don't know... I'm staying put....