Don't know how to handle this.

[DM42]

Well I was dumped a couple of Fridays ago, and I have been pretty much NC since then. She does work at a place where I golf, go to the gym, swim, etc, so I'm bound to run into her. I did on Saturday after golfing in a regular Saturday game that includes lots of guys, so after we go and sit on the deck of the bar and grill and have a few drinks and socialize. It's good for me to do that, however, she was helping out serving the drinks because there were over 20 of us. I didn't acknowledge her at first, kind of just kept my head down because I got very sad at that moment and didn't want her to see that. She came back out again, and she was at the next table and I just wanted to looked at her and when I looked up she said "Are you even going to say hi" and she looked a cross between angry and upset. I really enjoy spending time there and I only have seen her once there since we broke up so I can avoid it for the most part.

 

More of the story is that this girl has a chronic illness that makes her life a little tougher than anyone deserves. I was always there for her to massage her or rub her neck or just make her feel better. Essentially it will take money to get her better but there isn't a guarantee that a course of treatment will work and while I'm willing to help I don't have the resources to throw around chasing something. If someone told me that it was guaranteed I would happily do it (if I could manage it), I just don't know what I could be getting into. It's complicated for sure. Treatments for this can also require a person to be house bound for a month or so, I have even talked to my doctor previously and she said that she would grant me a leave of absence during this time so I can help get her through it. Anyway the long story short is that I did and was willing to try and do what I could possibly do. Obviously I really care for her and of course, she said all those same nice things to me but I'm really confused about moving on from this. I need to protect myself and be happy but I find it very hard to just walk away from her because of her illness, simply because I do love her and I would have found it hard even without the illness. I have never been in a situation like this before and I am completely stumped by it. Completely.

 

Most of this post was for personal venting which I like this forum for. It makes me feel better to just write it out and share it. Any insight never hurts though.