downandout Posted September 19, 2004 Posted September 19, 2004 My girlfriend and i broke up 1 week today. It came out of nowhere for me and i've been a wreck the last week. I talked to her a few times during the week but she just had this big barrier up and i couldnt get through. During the week i found this forum and was finding it really helpful. Yesturday i said goodbye to her because i had read about the no contact idea on here and thought it was the best thing to do since she had changed so much. Now, yesturday i found out that there had been this guy 'manipulating' her at her work. Now i know that might sound weird or something but she is an impressionable sweet country girl and it is possible. I talked to some of her work mates just trying to figure out what happened to her (and what happened to us) and found out that this guy just does weird manipulative things to girls and that 2 of the girls there even have restraining orders against him... It seems like this guy constantly puts questions in these girls head's like "isn't you boyfriend really a jerk sometimes" (bad example) and convinces these girls that there is something wrong in their relationships when there isnt. sorry for the bad explanation... But basically this guy screws up their lives and they think that he's the good guy. like she said that he was always there 'just wanting to listen'... My ex had only mentioned his name in passing conversations and so i didnt even know she was mates with this guy. i went to her house yesturday afternoon and confronted her about it. And it turns out that this guy has been constantly bagging me (not that we've even met, see above) and that the day we broke up he was on the phone and got her to go out (i guess the reason was to get her mind off things). Him and these other 2 guys from her work had completely changed her and it made the break-up really bad because i didnt know what was going on until yesturday. After the initial confrontation i had 4 friends there to back me up (mutual friends, one couple being one this guy's last targets) and i left them to talk and i sat outside for about an hour. After they left, i went back and talked to her for a few hours and found out how much she had lied to me and how much this guy had played her. and long story short, they were 'talking' in a room together and he started kissing her... i dont know the details of that part yet but i think it was mutual (i think she's pretty confused and messed up). Talking to her friends from work and from talking to her i think alot of it boils down to depression. i'm talking about serious mental illness depression here. so i mean i want to be there for her and help her through this because she doesnt deserve it and i still love her so much. but i'm having trouble understanding and comming to grips with this betrayal. she just shut me out but it appears it was because of this illness and this guy making her question every thing i did. apparently this guy is a real charmer and everyone loves him, but he's really a smart, deceptive married man with 2 children. What should i do! I'm drowning here...
mighty bop Posted September 20, 2004 Posted September 20, 2004 So she's an impressionable sweet country girl ay? Well you need to impress some things into her mind that she will never forget. How long have two been together? If it hasn't been that long then I would move on if I were you because if she has serious mental depression or whatever you said you might not want to get into all that. Or you can ride it out and get ready for more heartaches courtesy of that guy, who seems to be some kind of mastermind. Chris
Author downandout Posted September 20, 2004 Author Posted September 20, 2004 We've been together for over 3 years. I dun know what to do. I'd love to think that i can be there for her and get her through it. Then see what happens from there. It's just really hard and the people around here seem to have some really good points so i just figured i'd try...
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