Tokester Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I feel so lost in this world, so much has happened in the past eight months. My parents announced they were separating in august, my dad was unhappy and that was that. While he has moved out and begun to rebuild his life in the way he believes to make him happy the rest of us my mother, sister and myself are stuck trying to figure out how to handle each other. My father is the greatest man I have ever known and has sacrificed so much for this family. I believe he hates his job and that has transferred over to the other aspects of his life. Although I can't say this for certain, I can't say I've ever really known how to talk to my dad. My sister is my best friend and this has all but ruined our relationship, neither of us can interact without aggravating one another. We are both in college, myself being a current senior my life has been turned upside down. I have also spent the last two years with the greatest young woman I've ever met and it has been four months since she left me. I gave her everything she ever wanted and she couldn't even give me an explanation for her changed feelings. I know there is not someone else involved, if I had to speculate, we both borderline reached a drinking problem and often instigated each other; I believe her current priorities lie with her drinking. I think she chose it over me; even through our break up I still gave her what she wanted, minimal contact as I tried to let her work out whatever she was going through. It has been months since I let her go, I removed Facebook and phone number so I could begin to heal for myself. I am happy with who I am but I know that I still love her. The hardest part is my mother. I don't know how to help her and somehow feel responsible for her. I am always going to be in the middle but it is so hard trying to ease so much tension. I don't know what to do, I know how much my mother still cares for my father but he is so angry. My parents did not have a bad relationship and I know that one day he will realize the magnitude of his mistakes, I just wish I could make him see what he's giving up for what he's getting. I do not know what to do.
richard9 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Sounds like you are taking on too much responsibility for other people at a time when you need to be focusing on yourself. Your girlfriend left you and you need to start working on how to live with that and move on. First of all, although you may not agree with it you have to accept your Fathers decision, it's his choice and his life. It's hard I know, but in the end it's your Mother and Fathers relationship, not yours, it's really not your place to say. So unload that responsibility you feel for their relationship, you cant put it on yourself at this time. When two people get together who have (dont take this the wrong way) drug issues, it very rarely lasts, its kind of a coming together through the substance. Im not saying there is no love for each other but as you say the substance can be chosen over the partnership. You certainly did the right thing where facebook and phone number are concerned! Keep on with no contact, perhaps use this time to sort your drinking out (if its a problem), and focus on your own well being. Just my thoughts.
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