chrisbob28 Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 So my ex and I dated for a short time...about two months, but was very intense. She and I spent Thanksgiving with her family together and were together almost every single day from the day we met until we broke up. I caught her cheating on me. She claimed that we were not compatible in bed and this was the reason she did what she did. She said that I did not make enough of an effort and I rejected her in bed and that was it. Anyways, we did meet up a few more times and since sex was such a factor, we had sex a few more times but I had difficulty in bed. I was undoubtedly nervous and it ended badly both times. I even remember her popping up one time in bed after one of the bad nights and she said out loud, "Why the "*$k do we connect on every level but this one?!" Anyways, both she and I just worked naturally while we were together until we didn't. I was oblivious to the issues and the way I made her feel and she acted out herself. It was really hard for both of us, truly. Well, several months later, I texted her and told her I'd like to meet up sometime. She said she would be happy to meet up but if I was meeting up with her to seduce her then this was a bad idea. I told her I was not trying to do that but I wanted to try and meet up again because I missed her and wanted to get to know her again. Anyways, we did meet up and it went great as expected. We always got along really really well. I went in to kiss her and she turned her cheek. The next day she sent a text saying it was good to see me last night. I said it was great seeing her and that we should try to hang out again when we had more time. We didn't hang out late the first night because she has to get up at 5am for work. So we are meeting up this Friday for another date. What do you guys think? Is there a chance that she wants this to work still too but just to move slowly?
Tony T Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 This is a difficult one but you have a lot of great things going for you. Every other aspect of your relationship seems to be going very well, it's just the sex part. Take it slow, very slow. Let her know how important she is to you...make lots of love to her VERBALLY. Next time the two of you are in bed, once again, take it slow...very slow. Relax. Don't worry about the time and don't worry about your performance. Just be yourself and let things flow. Ask her what she would like. Ask her for direction and help if you like. One thing that will drive a woman to the moon in bed is not intercourse but tongue on vagina. Use the Internet and successful friends at it to instruct you on the best technique. (Google search "cunnilingus.") It's one thing that requires mostly your tongue and it may be great enough to keep her for a very long time. Do it the right way and you may have to travel to another world to catch up to her.... Just take it easy and work this out over time. Again, you've got everything going for you so this is a great investment of time that you know will pay off. Good luck!
Author chrisbob28 Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 This is a difficult one but you have a lot of great things going for you. Every other aspect of your relationship seems to be going very well, it's just the sex part. Take it slow, very slow. Let her know how important she is to you...make lots of love to her VERBALLY. Next time the two of you are in bed, once again, take it slow...very slow. Relax. Don't worry about the time and don't worry about your performance. Just be yourself and let things flow. Ask her what she would like. Ask her for direction and help if you like. One thing that will drive a woman to the moon in bed is not intercourse but tongue on vagina. Use the Internet and successful friends at it to instruct you on the best technique. (Google search "cunnilingus.") It's one thing that requires mostly your tongue and it may be great enough to keep her for a very long time. Do it the right way and you may have to travel to another world to catch up to her.... Just take it easy and work this out over time. Again, you've got everything going for you so this is a great investment of time that you know will pay off. Good luck! Thank you Tony! So, just to be clear, the fact that she wants to hang out still tells you she's still interested in trying to make things work with me? Just trying to figure out where you think things stand. I do agree to take things slow and not even discuss where we stand in terms of our relationship status, but do you think I should simply continue to pursue this woman and work on building a trusting foundation for both of our sakes? I do think there is still a chance there but I guess I'm just trying to see what you guys think. Even though we aren't being physical right now... Thanks in advance!
Author chrisbob28 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 Curious what others think...I think I love this girl. I wish we could just go back to the way things were. There's definitely some hesitation there for both of us. Anyways, would love to hear everyone's thoughts. And any advice is welcome! Thank you Tony for your words of wisdom and any other words of wisdom or encouragement or advice is definitely welcome. It's so hard to take things slow when you get this glimmer of hope.
Author chrisbob28 Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 Anyone have any advice? Non sexual? Help me create a "no expectations" situation with her??
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