Is being too busy a good reason to call things off?

[juststarry6443]

I work full time and go to school part time. Any time I get I will make sure my boyfriend knows and ask him to sleep over, pick me up from work or even if it's just to be there to sleep in bed with me. Before, sleeping over wasnt even an option for him because he says he's too uncomfortable at my house. I'm usually the one that goes to his, but since now he has no choice he says he'll try to now. It's only happened twice, but I think his way of trying is coming over for a "quickie" and then leaving.

[ltjg45]

You should call things off because, apparently, he is not comfortable with your lifestyle.

 

Saying that he doesn't want to come over to your house without a valid reason sounds like a massive excuse and it also tells me that he is not into you as much as you think he is.

 

Especially when the only goals in his mind is to get a "quickie" and then leave.

 

Just dump him and move on. If he wanted you, he would find ways to spend whatever free time you have with you, not find excuses for him to have it "his way".

[Almond_Joy]

In this particular circumstance with this guy, I agree with LTGJ. You're doing what you can to make time for this relationship and he doesn't seem interested in trying to make the most of that time. He may be taking advantage of the fact that you're busy because you may not have the time or energy to set some expectations as to what you want from him.

 

I opened this thread because your subject line was asking something different than what your situation is though. It is entirely possible for someone to be too busy to build a quality relationship with someone. That's not the case here, but if you are with someone who's trying to spend time with you and you just don't have the time to spare, then you are too busy to really invest the time and energy necessary to focus on a serious relationship.

[whichwayisup]

Why is he uncomfortable at your house? Tell him to feel free to bring things that make him feel more at home at your place, if that will help.

 

Don't just end it, talk to him about this and see if you two can come up with a good compromise that makes you both feel at ease.

[AKisBaked]

Sounds like he's too "comfortable" in the relationship atm.. Like things to him seem like its a routine or its chore, which shouldn't be like that. I mean your the one making the time to SEE HIM Like im sure he knows your a busy person with all that your doing... When someone knows that the other person is occupied with alot of things they MAY deceive you.. (I'm not saying your bf will or would) He may have the idea that "my gf is really busy, and I don't really get to see her often only when she has time." That is the part you may want to worry a little about. Ask yourself these questions:

 

- Does he take initiative to come see you when your having a busy day?

-Does he ever suprise you as in picking you up without you asking?

- Does he care how your day is going or just let you do what you need to do for the entire day without much conversation?

-Is he lacking affection towards you?

- Simply do you see him trying in things he does for you anymore?

 

If you can ask yourself these questions and find out the answers then you have solved your own question that your concerned about.