clarence_2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Im in a current situation that I want to get few insights of you, as your comments and opinion matters to everyone nowadays. I am dating a guy, much much older than me. He is 54 and I am 23. oohhh?! I know right. and wait, he is separated. He is a Chinese businessman. We met early part of May last year. I have boyfriend before so I stopped seeing him. But he has impact on me already in short period of time. I started avoiding him. Yes, I know, I am becoming unfaithful with my boyfriend because that time we were together, I still think of that Chinese man. My relationship with my boyfriend went wrong unfortunately. Maybe it was me who should be blame. I lack interest. I wanted to try something new that my boyfriend can't afford because, in the first place, he is married. Yes guys, I had a relationship that is bull****. So I decided to break up with him. And I started communicating again with that man.well, that Chinese man never stopped texting me anyway. Every day he texted then eventually, turned once a week. He never failed to ask me how am I doing. I made I decision finally. I wanted to continue the “naudlot” getting to know each other thing between us. At first, I have so many hesitations because I told him hurtful things so he'll hate me and never wanted to see me again before. But, I just tried and we finally met again. I'm nervous guys. He has a son and he always goes with us at first. it helped though.I liked the idea too because I am afraid what he might do to me. It's better to have a chaperon after all. Days and months have passed, I think I knew him already. And vice versa. I met his family and friends. Typical Chinese. We are always together, as compared to my ex boyfriend, and we got a chance to travel. So as if we are couple but no formality. he asked once, but i joked that we are just exclusively dating. I'm expecting he'll asked again as time goes by but he didnt. he told me he asked it once he will never repeat it again. So be it. So ako na ung naglakas loob na nagsabing kami na but i dont hear anything on him. maybe the timing is not good. we are already in the middle of our issue na kasi. Guys I dont know how to begin my resentments,. I'll just begin with he is very doubtful on me. He always says I lied and keep lying. He ask a lot of questions from the time we met. Actually, he asks for my history,. He asks everything and he wanted to know everything.The reason behind it, he just wanted to know. He is secretive., or he may just want to do it in his own way. He told me that he is happy when I asked to meet again on our second part but unhappy on the later part because I was like a mother of all liar. He even think of me undergoing a polygraph test. That's how rude he is. He is kind (maybe), cares for me in his own way, but on that issue, he feels being fooled and he doesnt want to feel that way. He always feel I make him idiot, and all. And I just keep quiet. Sometimes I answered back but a lot of times I dont because we'll just fight and I don't like the idea of fighting. I keep asking myself, what have I done wrong? I already told him the truth, the things I ought not to say but I did just to feed his hunger. I am kind and I follow whatever he wanted (like meeting with him even I feel like I wanted to rest). Still, he doubts me and he told me I have something more to say that I keep. I dont know na what to do. I dont know how to cope with this kind of situation because this is new to me. I met guys, but this is so weird, very unique. Or should I say I feel I dont deserve the way he is treating me. I know he cares for me, I'm not sure if he loves me, but why he is like that to me? He cares in a way that he fetched me at work, he helps me save, he even wants me to move in his condo so im a lot nearer to my workplace. I think he wants to see me everyday because he always demand me to go to their house. he keep on asking just tell the truth. mahaba na daw ung panahon na ibinigay nya sa akin that supposed to be when he caught me lying iniwan na nya ako like with his previous relationships. parang he is still willing to wait pero as for me, wala na syang hinihintay eh. i already told him what he should know. I'm a little confuse in a way. Or is he like that alone? What approach should I do? as a girl, sometimes, i felt harassed. emotionally harassed. sometimes we are sad, sometimes we are happy. he is very moody. as if i am the guy adjusting on him. Please guys, help me and please let me know if you need more details.
Author clarence_2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 (continuation of old man- young lady) after that scenario, here we are, in a very good situation. we are happy now. we always go out with his son (i don't mid at all, its okay to go out with son). now, i am thinking, how can i execute my plans? my parents want me to leave him but i think im slowly falling in love. i hate the way i feel. please enlighten me on how to deal with this. comments are highly appreciated. Thank you.
Noproblem Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I don't need to read the whole story Hot young girl + old rich man You gonna be together until he get bored of you Or you'll be together enjoying his money and suffering from his suspicion of you which will later turn into abuse and you will be wasting your beautiful youth on him until you realize it was a big mistake and well It's not too late, but it'd be hard to start all over again. 1
Author clarence_2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 I don't need to read the whole story Hot young girl + old rich man You gonna be together until he get bored of you Or you'll be together enjoying his money and suffering from his suspicion of you which will later turn into abuse and you will be wasting your beautiful youth on him until you realize it was a big mistake and well It's not too late, but it'd be hard to start all over again. okay. thank you for that. reality bites. so i have to break with him even though he is kind enough already? 1
Noproblem Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 okay. thank you for that. reality bites. so i have to break with him even though he is kind enough already? No, you should follow the sound inside you, that whispers and you ignore ... You sometimes hear it advice to do some thing ...You know the inner voice Not me, not any one else can tell you what to do .... We could be right, we could be wrong .... I just told you what usually happens in cases like that ..... Just follow that sound.
FitChick Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 You had an affair with a married man and now are dating a separated man,who is still married. Why don't you date single, available men? Less complicated.
ses Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 For some reason as soon as I read "Chinese businessman," I thought of the movie "The Lover." Hot film. Back on topic: Find a man who's single, available and treats you with dignity and respect. Married men will never give you the commitment you desire. Stop chasing after the unattainable. 1
Author clarence_2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 You had an affair with a married man and now are dating a separated man,who is still married. Why don't you date single, available men? Less complicated. i don't know, i always landed with that kind of relationship. He is separated and he is far way better than the previous one, as what he told me. im not closing doors for myself to find what's really into me.
Author clarence_2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 For some reason as soon as I read "Chinese businessman," I thought of the movie "The Lover." Hot film. Back on topic: Find a man who's single, available and treats you with dignity and respect. Married men will never give you the commitment you desire. Stop chasing after the unattainable. both of them treats me with dignity and respect. the previous one, married one, respects me and love me a lot. it just so happen we got separated because i think this is not the relationship i deserve. maybe i have to decide. and the right thing to do id to break with the chinese separated man. now, that's my problem. because for sure, he wont let me.
Author clarence_2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 No, you should follow the sound inside you, that whispers and you ignore ... You sometimes hear it advice to do some thing ...You know the inner voice Not me, not any one else can tell you what to do .... We could be right, we could be wrong .... I just told you what usually happens in cases like that ..... Just follow that sound. Thank you. that's my new problem now. i want to break up with him before, but now, as if its hard to do. im falling already. and i dont know if he feels the same way too.
MrCastle Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Most people seem to be hooked on the married thing. I'm getting to that, I just can't get past the 54/23 thing. That's the first problem right there. 54/23 bad. Very bad. That's a 31 year gap. 31 years. The gap itself is older than you.
Author clarence_2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 Most people seem to be hooked on the married thing. I'm getting to that, I just can't get past the 54/23 thing. That's the first problem right there. 54/23 bad. Very bad. That's a 31 year gap. 31 years. The gap itself is older than you. yeah. very bad but he doesn't look like he is like that. crazy, right? as if im inlove. but i have to stop this. i should control my feeling because if i can't, im making myself digging my pit.
Author clarence_2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 we are okay now. we go out a lot of times and with his son. we are happy, as if a family. but there are still a lot of questions ruining my mind, my relationship with him. my parents' issue is a big thing for me also. he's being womanizer is another issue. how can i surpass this? the only thing i know what to do is to get rid of him. but how? crazy me.
ses Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 If the men sincerely loved you and had good intentions, they wouldn't have you as their mistress. You deserve to be someone's first option. Have self-respect. There are plenty of single, young available men. Date them, and avoid this unnecessary drama. 1
Author clarence_2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 yeah i think you are right. minus the unnecessary drama.
Author clarence_2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 My ex is 28 and engaged to a 60 year old man. And when I'm feeling down or need a quick boost to my psyche... I think about how spectacularly awful that situation is going to end for her. And it keeps me going. really? :( i think i have to think more than a hundred times.
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