loki1007 Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 (edited) Im very curious and confused. My ex has been contacting me since her breakup. We both broke up with our significant others at the same time, 3 months ago. Since, she has been contacting me almost every day. She always texts, or calls me to see "how I'm doing." Just 2 days ago, she called me because she had a lot of "motivation" to call me as she put it. She wanted someone to make out with, and proceeded to tell me how she hasn't had anyone to make out with in the last 3 months.. Now, I have tried to set up multiple meets for us, and she has ALWAYS been busy, and never seems to have time. Although, I see that she seems to make plans afterwards with some other friend. I'm just very interested as to why she is acting this way. Mind, I still love this girl, but she is not something that is currently an infatuation. How should I play this? Edited April 22, 2013 by loki1007
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Im very curious and confused. My ex has been contacting me since her breakup. We both broke up with our significant others at the same time, 3 months ago. Since, she has been contacting me almost every day. She always texts, or calls me to see "how I'm doing." Just 2 days ago, she called me because she had a lot of "motivation" to call me as she put it. She wanted someone to make out with, and proceeded to tell me how she hasn't had anyone to make out with in the last 3 months.. Now, I have tried to set up multiple meets for us, and she has ALWAYS been busy, and never seems to have time. Although, I see that she seems to make plans afterwards with some other friend. I'm just very interested as to why she is acting this way. Mind, I still love this girl, but she is not something that is currently an infatuation. How should I play this? Well, you could either go out with her, make her a FWB (my suggestion), or just stay friends. How you want to play it is entirely up to you.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Looks like she will never meet up with you, because she is just using you for validation. If she never follows through with the plans, then she just wants to know that you will continue to puppy dog after her, just to make her feel better for 5 minutes, while she tries to get with some other guy. if she didnt say she wants to make out with YOU, then she is leaving it vague on purpose. Stop talking to her, it doesnt look like its going anywhere. 3
Author loki1007 Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 I would agree with you Eddie, but why would she call ME at 3 in the morning and talk about making out.. When I told her I was riding over, her response was, "no you won't, it's too far." And then my friend who is a female said something and she heard her, then abruptly got off the phone.. idk what to do because I made it apparent to her, I wasn't trying anything. I only wanted to catch up, even though I still love her (she doesn't know that) and she still "blows" me off.
laceyjane Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 It looks to me she just wants a Booty Call but too much of a coward to actually do it.Lol No offense, but if she really wants you, it should have happened right when she started contacting you. Maybe you're too open and "kind" to her. Do you really want to be like that? Or are you just lonely that having this kind of game with her keeps you distracted from the break up you just had?
Ordinaryday Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Dude, just from reading that I can tell you with near certainty why she is calling you and messing you around. After breaking up with this other guy she is feeling down and low and wants someone to act as an ego-boost and make her feel good about herself again, and for whatever reason she wants you to do that. And her flaky attitude says that once she got what she wants from you she will drop you like a sack of hot potatoes, which may put you back to square one as you will feel dumped ALL OVER AGAIN. Don't let her play these mind games with you. About a year ago an ex texted me six months after the break up simply asking 'hi, how are you?' - literally not a word more. I stupidly thought it meant she wanted to get back together so I texted back 'hey there I'm real good thanks' and I never heard another word from her again, one year Later. On the off chance she ever texts me again I will delete it without responding, which is what I should have done to begin with. 1
lovelifexx Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 An guy broke up with me really badly and I never heard from him until a year and a half later. He had broken up with his ex and he contacted me to apologize for the terrible way he ended it and to tell me I was an amazing gf. We chatted everyday for months...until he met someone else. He was lonely and bored I guess and just wanted my attention. Sounds to me like you are going through the same thing. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 She's calling you because she hasn't had anyone to make out with in 3 months? Do you really want to be used like that? I'd ignore her calls, I think calling on someone like that to scratch an itch is just rude... This^^ Who the heck says something like this?? Wow, what more can be said... TFY
AKisBaked Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 She seems like she is just using you for comfort because your the only person that would understand her the most than anyone else. She is only looking for a confident booster which she is getting from you. She doesn't seem like she will be interested in going out with you, she just wants to make herself feel good that what she says or do's to you and you accept her offer, she feels that she can do it to any other gullible guy. It's like she's using you as a "TESTER". Also she wants to see your reaction/reply. Since you did reply to her and asked her out she already has the upper hand of the whole situation. She can "control" whether or not she wants to see you. I would suggest that you dont even bother to put any effort or time into this girl. She's an ex for a reason no? Whatever hopes you have, don't be suprised if she shuts you down again.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 I would agree with you Eddie, but why would she call ME at 3 in the morning and talk about making out.. Yes but you didnt answer my original question, did she call you at 3 in the morning to talk about making out with YOU? Or just making out in general? Either way, she is bieng a tease just to get you to jump, which is why she abruptly gets off the phone once she gets your answer. If you really wanna know how this works, tease HER, play hard to get. Tell her about how she doesnt have the skills to make out with you YET. But realize, it isnt going to get you anywhere with her, she still isnt attracted to you anymore.
Author loki1007 Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 She was insinuating making out with me I do believe.. She texted me on this past Saturday to tell me what she was doing and that her mother said hi then she also called me that night @ 3am to tell me how lonely she was. I played it cool and didn't let it lead into anything. So Monday night I get a text that she is thinking of me because she is watching a comedian I like.. Idk about this girl..
sedona Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Another strategy, of course, is you just ask her what's up. That her calls suggest she wants to get back together but her not finding time for you suggests the opposite, and that uou are confused about her motives (naturally enough). You don't have reveal anything about what you really feel. Ask her outright, listen to her answer and decide on your next step from there. She may also be confused, by the way, and not 'playing' you. If she's not sure wt he wants, you might ask her to figure it out before she gets back in touch with you. Or you might want to give up the whole idea.
Author loki1007 Posted May 10, 2013 Author Posted May 10, 2013 I think I might have to have that convo.. The crappy thing is that I didn't want to make her think that I'm even thinking about it like that. It is frustrating though. I don't know if I would "get back" with her, but I would hang out and entertain the idea. I do believe she is one of the women I will always remember in my life.
rAFC Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 She is using you to make herself feel better and you are playing right into it. They have a name for that, it's called being a "doormat". Make no mistake, once she finds someone she likes you will not hear from her again. She has zero intention of getting back together with you. This is classic behavior. The next time she calls you, tell her that you are out on a date and will call her when you get the chance, then NEVER CONTACT HER AGAIN (and that means completely ignoring her contact as well)! Do that and she will at least gain a tiny bit of respect for you back. Ignore my advice and she will never respect you. Either way, this one is long gone my friend. Stop letting yourself be taken advantage of. Move on, she is not the right woman for you.
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