Col1 Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 (edited) I'm just getting involved in online dating with someone who is very nice and meets my search criteria. She contacted me with a joke and we have been messaging back-n-forth. She's got a sense of humor and is a great caring person. Only thing: I'm not attracted to her photos of herself. She has seven photos and they are unappealing or neutral to me. There is nothing wrong with the photos / she's not blinking or in awkward positions. I just can't imagine myself wanting to kiss her. We haven't met yet, but tonight she sent me her cell phone number and she hinted at meeting this week for coffee. Is there any point in a phone call or in meeting for a date, if I'm not attracted to her photos? Edited April 22, 2013 by Col1
charlietheginger Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Yes imo average girls with great personalities win out Over above average girls with crappy personalities. Ask yourself this do i wanna girlfriend i enjoy being around Makes me luagh and feel good about myself ? or a arm piece with zero personality.... 2
MrCastle Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Yes imo average girls with great personalities win out Over above average girls with crappy personalities. Ask yourself this do i wanna girlfriend i enjoy being around Makes me luagh and feel good about myself ? or a arm piece with zero personality.... Why are these always the extremes? Certainly you can find someone who has a great personality and who you find attractive. Right? 10
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I'm just getting involved in online dating with someone who is very nice and meets my search criteria. She contacted me with a joke and we have been messaging back-n-forth. She's got a sense of humor and is a great caring person. Only thing: I'm not attracted to her photos of herself. She has seven photos and they are unappealing or neutral to me. There is nothing wrong with the photos / she's not blinking or in awkward positions. I just can't imagine myself wanting to kiss her. We haven't met yet, but tonight she sent me her cell phone number and she hinted at meeting this week for coffee. Is there any point in a phone call or in meeting for a date, if I'm not attracted to her photos? No, there is no point. Someone can be attractive and a great person. You don't have to pick one or the other. 4
MsSmurf Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 It is also possible that she doesn't photograph well. Some people really don't, especially if they're taking amateur pictures with some cheapie camera. You haven't even met her yet so its a bit premature to be deciding if she's girlfriend material. You have been having a great conversation so far, there's nothing wrong with meeting and seeing if that continues and if she looks better than her pictures. If you're still not attracted to her then perhaps you two can just be friends. 3
married2school Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Maybe I base too much of my attraction on my interactions with the person after I get to know them, their personality, their mannerisms, and how they carry themselves... Not sure really. But I had a similar situation about a year ago, and I decided to go on a date anyway. The more we hung out the more I was attracted to him. He also ended up being just about the best kisser of anyone I've ever been on dates with. Didn't end up working out for other reasons, but had those not come up, I wouldn't have any problem dating him. 1
Sunshine87 Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 See her before you make a decision. Some people look better in person than in pictures and many people look better in pictures than they do in person....especially with the advent of social networks such as instagram. To answer your question: Yes physical attraction is very important in a relationship. I'm female and ild love to pretend that isn't, but it is. That's what makes the difference between a "friend" and a "lover". 1
Object_a Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Nearly every woman I've met through OLD looked much better in person than in their photographs. This one girl in particular was very interesting and fit all my criteria but you'd have to be generous to even say she was plain judging by her photos. When I met her in person she had a really sweet, expressive face which still photos just didn't capture, and I ended up quite liking her. As long as there is something you can potentially work with then it's no big deal to go on one date. 2
SensitiveTJ Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I vote for meeting her in person and then deciding. Don't write her off before you even see her in real life. 1
Fondue Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I been on a "hot" streak lately and have been getting a quite a few dates/interests going right now. Definitely some good looking girls, too. Out of all of them, the one I am most attracted to is the one I find least physically attractive. She is definitely pretty, but definitely not my "type." My friends find her hot, I really don't. I also don't really lust after her when we're both naked. But with that said, she is the coolest girl I had ever met. Quirky, kind, interesting, and definitely fun to be around. No dull moment. Instead of thinking purely with my dick this time around, I think I'm gonna explore and pursue her. SO yah man, definitely meet her. 2
Imajerk17 Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Physical attraction is very important in a relationship. As least for me. BUT it is surprisingly hard to gauge how physically attracted you'll be to someone from their OLD pics. I mean pure "looks" here nevermind "chemistry". Some people truly don't photograph well. It can't hurt to meet for coffee. 2
ltjg45 Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I would meet up with her and see how you feel physically from an actual meeting. If it doesn't make you want her by then, then just kindly part ways. 1
carhill Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I'm just getting involved in online dating with someone who is very nice and meets my search criteria. She contacted me with a joke and we have been messaging back-n-forth. She's got a sense of humor and is a great caring person. Arrange a meeting and determine mutual interest and chemistry at that point. Had she not posted pictures, you would have experienced the same content as in the above quote. Interesting how that works. 1
ComeUpOutDaWahta Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 This might sound a little pretentious and somewhat lame, and maybe it is, but in total honesty looks matter very little to me. I've learned that physical attraction tends to ween itself off fairly quickly, within weeks most of the time. This is a little ironic because I put a good deal of effort into looking my best and staying fit. BUT, on the flip-side, I expect a lot of compensation for that. Not saying that she needs to blow me away personality-wise if and only if I'm not attracted physically; she needs to do that regardless of her appearance. I need to be stimulated on an intellectual level, you've got to have a solid sense of humor and you have to have your wits about you. You have to be able to take a jab and dish one right back out with a quickness. I think the main thing is that physical appearance usually reflects the person within. I think most people eventually learn to make some sort of Pavlovian association between someone's poor appearance and their lack of confidence, self-respect etc. An outward reflection of yourself should be a natural, effortless occurence. 1
BluEyeL Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I went out a couple of months ago with a guy that was a great writer, but I thought he was unattractive in pictures. However, I gave him a chance. He ranked number 2 in my top 20 lol. I was very attracted to him in person, in fact, I didn't recognize him when I entered the restaurant, he had to call me as I was looking around. I don't mean that this will surely happen, but I'd go on one short date to see her in person. The eyes, the smile, the way she speaks and moves could make her attractive in person. Most people look better in person than in pictures imo. You'll waste 30 min to 1h and one cup of coffee but you'll know for sure. 1
mortensorchid Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 The online world is one thing, real life is quite another. I have met people online who seem perfectly fine in the chats or written messages we exchange only to meet them in person and find that they are complete and utter duds personality wise. With the online world, I think if you don't have a photo posted on some website then why would you even want to meet that person sight unseen? It's not like you have that option in real life. People do not walk around with paper sacks over their heads trying to make conversations. Ha ha ha ... From your description, it seems that you are meeting this woman online. Nothing wrong with said something, but remember that the online world we will take a lot of stock in appearances then meeting in real life (even talking on the phone) is another. So yes, physical appearances are one thing and they are an important thing in the online world. 1
white123 Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 meet with her. as a friend. don't make a date, make a meeting, just to know each other. with online dating there are these possibilities 25% no one likes no one 25% you like her but she doesn't like you 25% she likes you but you don't like her 25% "spark" is here ..so you have 25% chance for something more, don't make a big deal from one meet.. anyway, the ground reason why two people of opposite sex are meeting each other is to have sex, later kids.. it is "coded" in our DNA.. for good chat and fun go out with your buddies and better wait for The Woman which will be pretty for you and there will be also something more. You don't have to make a big compromises. anyway, meet with her, you never know. good luck men! 1
ana0pera Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 It's for you to decide. You said you can't see yourself kissing her, and if that's the case, why bother? She might be a great friend if you have a lot in common but maybe that's all, unfortunately. My friend met a girl online who he hit it off with immediately and was going crazy over, although we were a little apprehensive because she didn't have any pics up. My friend did some google stalking of her and found her website and photos. She was a pretty girl, IMO, but not at all my friend's type. So even though he was talking about how cool, smart, etc she was, the physical attraction wasn't there so he didn't end up even going on one date with her. Shallow, yes, but if you just can't see yourself getting over someone's physical appearance, why bother wasting your time (and her's)? 1
Estate Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I'm just getting involved in online dating with someone who is very nice and meets my search criteria. She contacted me with a joke and we have been messaging back-n-forth. She's got a sense of humor and is a great caring person. Only thing: I'm not attracted to her photos of herself. She has seven photos and they are unappealing or neutral to me. There is nothing wrong with the photos / she's not blinking or in awkward positions. I just can't imagine myself wanting to kiss her. We haven't met yet, but tonight she sent me her cell phone number and she hinted at meeting this week for coffee. Is there any point in a phone call or in meeting for a date, if I'm not attracted to her photos? So trading a few messages online is now the same as "being involved"... If you don't like this person, don't string them along, that's really poor form dude. 1
tbf Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 If you're not attracted, don't bother. You barely know her, which includes her personality. 1
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