SidLyon Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 (edited) I had lunch with a friend who became a widow in her mid 40s. She is still grieving her H’s death. We were discussing infidelity and she was expressing outrage at women who invade other people's marriages and have affairs with married men. She knows of my history. It happens that not only was her own H with his previous partner (and young child) at the time they got together, but that more recently she had been engaging in flirty behaviour (via e-mail) with an old boyfriend who is now on his second marriage with children. She was upset because the e-mail communications had come to an abrupt end, and she speculated that his wife had found out and put an end to it. I didn’t mention it to her, but what surprised me was the disconnect and inconsistency between her own behaviour and her expressed views about OW generally. It seemed to me that she’d rationalised how her relationship with her H had started, ie true love, soul mates and presumably he told her he was planning to leave (which he did), and she’d also rationalised the more recent flirty e-mail exchanges as being harmless, because she had asked him whether his wife knew of their contact, they were long distance now, and he’d told her they were in an “open” marriage. I really like this person and wish her well, but talking to her made me realise how and why so many OW put all the blame on the MM and accept virtually none themselves. Yet she nevertheless is able to demonstrate some sympathy and empathy for me, because it was obvious my fWH was lying through his teeth to me and to the OW to have an A. I know for a fact her H lied to her (even if she doesn’t) and I’m fairly sure that the more recent MM would have been lying to both her and his W. Edited April 22, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed personal poke 6
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