ddc579 Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Hey everyone, After about a week of talking to a woman online, she and I finally met on Friday night. (In fact, she was the one who asked to meet up) We hit it off great -- in fact, I would say it's the best first date I've had in a long time. However, I literally don't have a free night or weekend day for two weeks (this is not the norm for me -- it's just that time of year at my job). I wanted to obviously keep the momentum going, so I texted her the next day. I mentioned that while my schedule is nutty, I really did want to hang out again soon. She seemed excited to meet again, and she recommended May 3. So for right now, it looks like that's going to be our next date. Is two weeks too long? Would it be reasonable to just keep some momentum going with a text/call every few days? Like I said, it was one date -- but she really is the sweetest girl I've met in awhile. I don't want to lose this opportunity to see where this might go. Thanks in advance!
sillyanswer Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 However, I literally don't have a free night or weekend day for two weeks Can you meet at lunchtime?
Author ddc579 Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 We live about an hour away, so probably not.
married2school Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I would say keep in touch until then, but not too much. I wouldn't try to worry too much about there being two weeks in-between the dates. If she really likes you too, it shouldn't be a problem. I understand where you're coming from though. I posted a similar thread. A guy where I'm from happened to be in town, and we went on a date. I won't be moving back until the end of the summer though. It was a great date too so I understand not wanting to lose the opportunity to see if things would work out. If she is interested though, I wouldn't think she would mind waiting on the hectic schedule to subside.
Author ddc579 Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 Thank you for your reply. In fairness, I never got the sense from her that this was an issue. Like I said, she seemed pretty happy to set up a second date. I think it's more my worry than anything LOL
married2school Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 No problem. I'm preaching to the choir here anyway.
Star Gazer Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I've had that happen before. It can really suck the momentum! Are you going to have to go another 2 weeks after seeing her the next time? Because if so, it might be best to just wait until you actually have time to date. If this is just a one time off thing, I'd text or call every few days.
Author ddc579 Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 I've had that happen before. It can really suck the momentum! Are you going to have to go another 2 weeks after seeing her the next time? Because if so, it might be best to just wait until you actually have time to date. If this is just a one time off thing, I'd text or call every few days. This is just a one-time thing. I don't normally have this crazy of a schedule -- it's just bad timing. My schedule is pretty much back to normal (meaning that I'll have a lot of open nights and weekends) after these next two weeks. So yeah, I'll probably do the texting/calling every few days just to keep things moving!
the_entertainer1 Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Try to keep the momentum going as much as possible. Books or concepts that promote the "He's Just Not That Into You" idea tell women that if a man says he's busy, it means he's too busy for her. Apparently men will make time for a woman that they really like. Not doubting that you really do have a busy schedule (that happens to everyone), but from a woman's perspective, if she likes you too, she'll probably want some reassurance that you are interested in her. 1
Author ddc579 Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 Try to keep the momentum going as much as possible. Books or concepts that promote the "He's Just Not That Into You" idea tell women that if a man says he's busy, it means he's too busy for her. Apparently men will make time for a woman that they really like. Not doubting that you really do have a busy schedule (that happens to everyone), but from a woman's perspective, if she likes you too, she'll probably want some reassurance that you are interested in her. I totally see what you're saying (and this was the exact reason I posted this thread to begin with). I'm not usually one to say definitively that "she liked me" after the first date, but I absolutely got that sense with this one. Given the circumstances, I just want to make sure I can strike a good balance of communicating (but without being too pushy).
Gottabestrong Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Two weeks is not too long if you have a good reason for it and stay in touch throughout this time. I travel a lot, so it sometimes happens that I go on a date with a guy but can't meet him again until 2-3 weeks later. If he stays in touch every couple of days and we use that time to get to know each other better, then it does not stop the momentum and when we meet for the next time it is like no time has passed in between. However, if I don't hear from a guy for a few weeks and then he suddenly calls and asks me out on a date, I wonder if I am just his fallback plan and why he did not care about me while one of us was gone. So my advice is to stay in touch every few days and not just send superficial, short texts, but slightly longer messages telling her about what you are up to and asking about her life. Good luck!
normal person Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I think it'll depend on the person and circumstances but there's no reason to think she won't be open to the idea of seeing you again if you play your cards right. I would keep in touch to let her know you're still interested, but not overbearing. Purely anecdotal but this same thing happened to me very recently. I went out with a girl who I really liked, then she told me she was leaving the country for 10 days and had a lot to do at work for a while after that. So although it sounded like an excuse, I kept at it. Eventually she came back and opened up her schedule more and now we see each other all the time and it's fantastic. Be persistent and remind her that you're still around but be careful not to overdo it. It can be done.
Author ddc579 Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 Thank you for all of your wonderful advice, everyone! I'll just keep at it like you're recommending and hope for the best.
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