ViresSanctity Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Why do I have to be strong and man up about this? I just want someone, and not a counselor, to sit down and listen to me and hear how it's really difficult getting over this. No one looks at me and see's it as an issue. They look and just think I'm doing fine, or that when I start to whine a bit, they laugh and tell me I'm a guy so it shouldn't affect me like a woman. It's humiliating to express myself but if I don't it keeps me in a bottled silence. Meanwhile, my ex-girlfriend is calling all her friends and getting all their support. They'll pamper her, talk to her for hours and help dry up all her tears. She'll soon get over me with a big smile on her face. Right now I can't even swallow a meal, or work-out without getting acid reflux.
RiceaRoni Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Why do I have to be strong and man up about this? I just want someone, and not a counselor, to sit down and listen to me and hear how it's really difficult getting over this. No one looks at me and see's it as an issue. They look and just think I'm doing fine, or that when I start to whine a bit, they laugh and tell me I'm a guy so it shouldn't affect me like a woman. It's humiliating to express myself but if I don't it keeps me in a bottled silence. Meanwhile, my ex-girlfriend is calling all her friends and getting all their support. They'll pamper her, talk to her for hours and help dry up all her tears. She'll soon get over me with a big smile on her face. Right now I can't even swallow a meal, or work-out without getting acid reflux. You dont have to pull the tough guy act... And youve come to the right place. Vent here and say what you gotta say..people are more than willing to give you advice and help you out. 5
soccerrprp Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Why do I have to be strong and man up about this? I just want someone, and not a counselor, to sit down and listen to me and hear how it's really difficult getting over this. No one looks at me and see's it as an issue. They look and just think I'm doing fine, or that when I start to whine a bit, they laugh and tell me I'm a guy so it shouldn't affect me like a woman. It's humiliating to express myself but if I don't it keeps me in a bottled silence. Meanwhile, my ex-girlfriend is calling all her friends and getting all their support. They'll pamper her, talk to her for hours and help dry up all her tears. She'll soon get over me with a big smile on her face. Right now I can't even swallow a meal, or work-out without getting acid reflux. Don't fall for the macho, I can handle it like a man BS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dude, you are human, you have feelings, and you have EVERY fricken right to cry, weep, be depressed about this. It makes me sick when men are bludgeoned to believe that they shouldn't express their emotions in a healthy, releasing manner. Talk to us and I am sorry! 5
Weathergirl Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I agree, you are in the right place. Explain and vent away. 1
Author ViresSanctity Posted April 21, 2013 Author Posted April 21, 2013 Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it. Just the other night I went out to get my mind off her. She just sent news to break up with me the night before. The next night I was still in disbelief and think we could work things out. She wouldn't even pick up my phone call and started hanging up when I called past the 3rd time. I texted her and she just told me to find someone better than her, and have a good life basically. The next morning I was hoping for some reconciliation. Nothing. No phone call. I had a number from someone I met that night who also broke up with their boyfriend 2 weeks ago. Although it shouldn't be a big dealt, I felt doubly rejected the next morning when I asked her to hang out. She said "not interested." I don't know what I can do to distract myself without feeling antsy and wish for it to be over with. I do volunteering at the blood bank and the hours feel so long now when I think about her. I told her if she was really going to break up with me, then my only wish was for her to never contact me again. She wanted to be friends in a couple of month. But I told her I would feel better if there weren't. And that she would never hear from me again. I deleted her number and that was that. I've been having fantasies of going to her work and getting her to take me back though. I know it's not good to be back with her, logically speaking. We could never be happy together long.
jjjman Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 ViresSanctity, I understand what you are going through. It is hard, when she broke off with me, I wanted to just leave work and drive to her work place and ask her to give me another chance..........I didn't do it of course. I m still missing her madly though........I wonder when I will stop loving and missing her? Its only been 3 months but it seems like I was sad and depressed for over a year..... btw I m a guy too and yes expressing your feelings and problems does help you a lot! Hope you feel better soon!
RiceaRoni Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it. Just the other night I went out to get my mind off her. She just sent news to break up with me the night before. The next night I was still in disbelief and think we could work things out. She wouldn't even pick up my phone call and started hanging up when I called past the 3rd time. I texted her and she just told me to find someone better than her, and have a good life basically. The next morning I was hoping for some reconciliation. Nothing. No phone call. I had a number from someone I met that night who also broke up with their boyfriend 2 weeks ago. Although it shouldn't be a big dealt, I felt doubly rejected the next morning when I asked her to hang out. She said "not interested." I don't know what I can do to distract myself without feeling antsy and wish for it to be over with. I do volunteering at the blood bank and the hours feel so long now when I think about her. I told her if she was really going to break up with me, then my only wish was for her to never contact me again. She wanted to be friends in a couple of month. But I told her I would feel better if there weren't. And that she would never hear from me again. I deleted her number and that was that. I've been having fantasies of going to her work and getting her to take me back though. I know it's not good to be back with her, logically speaking. We could never be happy together long. She told you to find someone better and have a good life..then damn thats what you do..and you do it for YOU and not for her! Although you would like to find someone new, right now isnt the right time...you need to heal and cant have a new healthy relationship broken like this Im truly sorry for whats happen...I and many others have and had shared your pain. The only way from here is forward..forward in your healing and forward in your life towards better things...but first you gotta start small. Get some new activities started. Go out meet new people, socialize, have a good time with friends and family...and most of all. If you need to hurt or cry then do it. But dont wallow. Sometimes the pain amd hurt come back while we try to heal...you need to feel those feelings in order to push forward..and if and when you do feel that...come on here and vent, relax at home, cry, feel the pain, and then rise above amd become stronger from that. Do something incredible you never had the chance to do while in a relationship with her. I wish you the best in your healing and encourage you to stay strong Most importantly stay NC...and dont ever answer to her unless its her wanting a reconcilliation and you want it to. Keep venting on here if you must
soccerrprp Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I have to agree with the others. Stay in NC. You have to begin healing and you have to know that there will be other ladies who will appreciate you for you. This is not the end, rather, an opportunity for a new beginning. You're wiser and will take this as another episode in a life that will have its ups and downs and strings of episodes of pain, love and joy. Let her do the work. Keep NC and allow yourself the opportunity to move beyond this so that your life can be further enriched, sooner. Good luck. 1
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