jrtfrisco Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 (edited) I'm a 30 year old guy living the single life in a big city. A year ago a girl I've dated for 7 years broke up with me, for vague reasons, leaving me little to no closure. I've done relatively well moving on since, but I'm still hurting. In terms of dating, I got back into it, mostly through girls I've met through dating sites. I've had a lot of fun throughout the past year dating (including having some memorable sexual flings), but I had a revelation recently...I'm not fulfilled, and it's all been a distraction, and sort of a fill for my shattered ego as a result of my break-up from last year (and now that I've got my fill, I've said to myself..."now what?"). So I took a step back, and started to work to better myself more. I haven't stopped dating, but I realized that dating should be secondary in my life to my work, family, and well-being. In turn, I been been exercising more, and I stopped smoking cigarettes (which resulted in me being less present in the "bar scene," so to speak), and overall I just feel great. However, I've been feeling a bit down lately with dating. I've been in a slump lately. I don't think it has any relation to my latest "self improvement" period, but that it's just bad timing. I haven't been unable to get dates (I went on three last week)...but the girls have all been lame. I've been going on basically only first dates the past two months (as either I don't want to see the girl again, or she doesn't want to see me), and I've been feeling burnt out from it all lately (I'm losing enthusiasm with each date I go on, it seems). I've also been feeling a little down lately as the girls I've dated have not been on the "caliber," so to speak, as my ex (and now, I either want a girl on the same level, or higher...I don't want to downgrade). I didn't really have this concern the past year as, in an effort to re-build my shattered ego, I was okay downgrading for a little just to get as much TLC (or sex) as possible (reflecting now in hindsight), and also I wasn't ready for a serious relationship then (so in turn I wasn't as picky), but now I think I am (if the right girl comes along). In the past year, if I was ever going through a dating slump, I'd just shake it away and see friends (which would mostly include drinking and smoking cigarettes all night at some bar), but now it's not like that (as I don't smoke, and don't enjoy going to bars as much really). I feel like I went from some suave cigarette smoking party guy to a more "domesticated," yet healthier, person (who I am happy being right now), yet it doesn't necessarily help my single status right now (or maybe it does...I'm not really sure). I'd appreciate any thoughts you might have (any words of encouragement, etc.), because I just feel like it's been a battle lately on the dating front (and I'm getting tired of it overall). Thanks. Edited April 21, 2013 by jrtfrisco
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