Lovezen_30 Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 A week ago my boyfriend did something really out of character that hurt my feelings (not infidelity or anything, just an extremely thoughtless action). When I questioned him about why he had done X thing, he almost fainted and then nearly had a panic attack. He was a complete mess and I was in shock. What it has come down to is that he seems a bit depressed - he said 'I don't feel like me'. He feels like his life is in a rut, and so I said I would help him/support him to get out of said rut. But because I am going through a really difficult time just now (close family member is gravely ill), he hasn't wanted to 'burden' me - and I'll be honest, I'm struggling. We put this night behind us and a week later went out for dinner then back to his. I was in the mood for having a really fun night because in between work and caring for my sick family member, this weekend night is it for me basically. So we got out a board game and I started thinking of ways we could incorporate it into a fun drinking game, etc... But he immediately said 'Do we have to play this...can we not just chill together?' - which put me off - I thought it would be fun and god I need some fun just now. We started playing but he kept moping until I asked him what was wrong. This then descended into a big fight, with him snapping at me when I started to get upset and me accusing him of having no empathy whatsoever. He then started berating himself, and kept repeating 'I'm not good enough for you.' The worst part is, this is the first time this side of him has really surfaced n 1.5 years, yet I know he felt he hasn't good enough for his last gf either. Part of the fight involved me asking if he had feelings for someone else, because he's been so distant and I haven't been 100% sure whether this is partly due to a new friend he's made at work. Again he snapped, and said he couldn't believe I would even ask him that. We've made up (again) and he's said he 'just needs to deal' with his feelings. But I feel the relationship is in tatters. It bugged me that he wasn't open to putting aside our troubles for one night, and having a little fun together. Could I be doing anything differently? Has anyone been through anything like this?
Author Lovezen_30 Posted April 21, 2013 Author Posted April 21, 2013 I just feel like I'm doing everything all wrong, and I don't know how to help him...he knows I am there for him, but it's not easy for me when he's getting irritable and snapping etc.
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