tanned_naturally Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Hi there, We have been married for 15 years and with 2 kids (I am the husband btw). As all marriages we had our ups and downs but off-late the differences are becoming too noticeable and it seems whatever we do is turning out to be a Band-Aid patchwork . This has especially started after I did my management education here (we moved to North American continent 5 years back) and have been growing professionally. With professional growth comes visibility and network and the more I get into these, my wife feels insecure. When I think deeply about all these, I notice that because my network has changed after I went to business school, I have started thinking the North American way and am aligning with the society here. My wife is getting a second hand version of the society from me, and tries to cling to the ethnic traditions as she cannot break the ice with the society where we live currently. Our 15 years of marriage was never sweet as I spotted the differences between two of us very quickly after marriage and was kind of dismayed at myself. We had a courtship of 8 months prior to getting married and at that time I found lot of alignment in our mindsets and seemed we had the same goals. But, when it came to walk the talk she seemed to fail to meet expectations. To my 10 year old son, it is quite obvious we are different. I do not want to spoil a family but at the same time find ourselves not being able to go together. While I have moved myself from a worker bee to a supervisor and now to a corporate manager in five years into this country, she just manages a family day-home (something that I do not take pride in telling my peers). Because she hasn't been able to mingle with the society here, she avoids going to business social events as my spouse, or do other sports that any normal couple of this society would do. This has caused me feeling lonely and obviously a desire to get closer to other women that I meet professionally. Those women whom I meet professionally have found me friendly, trustable and love to go to events with me. I don't want to cheat but feel I should get what I deserve in life. I should have a wife who helps me grow as a man. I am not giving up, but thought of posting my problems here for suggestions in decision making. Thanks for reading about my problem. Cheers!
umirano Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Don't cheat, your wife has followed and supported you. She doesn't deserve to be treated like this. Cut her some slack, it's usually hard to fit into the western culture when coming from god knows where. You should help her grow and adapt and not feel embarrassed. If you really can't work out the differences, my point stands: DON'T CHEAT. Leave her. 2
Author tanned_naturally Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 Don't cheat, your wife has followed and supported you. She doesn't deserve to be treated like this. Completely agree that cheating is not an option here.
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