cluelessXgirl Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Okay peeps heres the thing.. I've been thinking about posting this here in quite some time..months actually. I can't figure anything out and I need help and advise. Last year I met a guy online and at first it was just a friendly chat. He is my age (17 then but 18 now) but not form my town. 200-300 km away.. after some time the chat became more flirty. He was getting over his ex and it was really hard and I was jsut there for him. We wrote the same things in the same second (it was really weird), we like the same things and I guess this is where lead us to another level. I was logged on every single day (just like him). One day he told me he wants to spend all his days with me, and then asked me if I would go with him when he leaves this country (which is my intention too) and how could I say no when he was my hobby, something I grew addicted too. I had nothing better to do specially it was after my grandfather died and I needed somebody to make me laugh and he could do that. Then we ended up discussing if he would move in with me and he agreed. I live with my granmother but she had plans to leave me at home alone so it was oging to be the perfect little life. One day I did something bad.. I wrote some things to him (he was online) but he didnt reply. I went mad and blocked him.. we were logging in skype and I could see his mood change and I tought he was just ignoring me and I did that to make him at least ask me whats wrong with me or have some reaction but nothing. So then passed a day then a week then another one and after two weeks we found eachother in some chats again. In the site we met. After some talking everything was fine again then one day he started acting weird...he closed off. I told him a lot of things.. that I wanted t be with him that I would even move into his town and he said he wanted me but the distance is too big, he would cheat on me and stuff like that. I continued writing to him and then he started to act even colder...he talked to me about other girls told me how they talk at night, sent me a picture of some girl (from another country) and after some more time I flipped. I told him I felt really REALLY bad because of him, that he doesn't act the same anymore and he just laughed. He said he hadn't lost me that much time and that I'd find somebody else. I flipped I called him a jerk and he blocked me. I felt like used trash and I wasnt sure what exactly changed...4 months passed and well I contacted him. He said he was trying to find me but never found me online (is it lies?). He says he's sorry but he wants to be alone. He writes to me and I don't...I even told him if he finds a girl like me again he should really hold on to her but he lost me.I havent logged on for some time because I'm scared of attaching again. Last week he did something pretty childish... theres a site where people can ask anonymous questions and he(anonymously) asked me "Who is (his nickname)" the deal is I haven't told his little name to anyone ever. He denied asking the question but its pretty obvious.Last week.. when I said im not important he said im wrong and when i said he'd forget me he said there was no way and asked me why should he. I'm not sure whats going on anymore.. can anybody point me to whats happening? P.S This is the second guy I've wanted like that and I am not really a pro in the feelings and love. I would appreciate all opinion.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Get off online and stay offline. What you had with this guy is not a relationship, it's just an attachment to an internet addiction because you like to go on chatrooms. When I was 15, i used to be online all the time and placing an emphasis on having any kind of connections with people. It was a nice escape from reality but whatever occurs online isn't real. I'm now 23 and I have a life - school, work, family, friends. They are important to me. You need to stay offline and start making real friends who are there.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Wait...I don't get it. Did you ever meet this guy in person?
MoreThanThat Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I'm with the previous poster - at your age, get offline and meet guys who are local to you. 1
Author cluelessXgirl Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 Yea I'm doing that right now...I did it before I met more guys I had other boyfriends but they were just boring ... thats what disturbes me ...
Author cluelessXgirl Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 I was going to but after I blocked him and reconnected again I wanted to but he just made excuses like if I go his phone was broken and we couldn't connect with a call if I was there and I didn't see him. The deal is I have no idea why he's writing again if I'm online.
Author cluelessXgirl Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 recently I told him he lost me and he started writing more often and he said he's waiting for me to fix my computer (it had issues xD) and teach me how to play some games(which means he wants time with me).. And THIS is why I don't know whats going on. What does he want?
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 Unfortunately you're just a kid so you take things much more serious and to heart, you also fantasize way out of reality. He just simply needed someone to vent to and talk to, he used you as a crutch and you were available to him because you wanted to be a shoulder to cry on, plus you wanted a distraction with all the drama going on in your life. This whole little "romance" isn't real, it's just the typical puppy love of thinking you met someone "perfect" for you, even though it's not even a real relationship, it's all in your own imagination...and in this case he's just playing games with your head and doing enough to lead you on. You have two choices, knock yourself on the head and snap out of this fantasy, not talking to him anymore, and lettings this go and cutting contact permanently and in time you'll move on. Or being "confused" and going back and forth playing believing all the bullcrap that he tells you and then being surprised or disappointed when it doesn't result to anything...it doesn't result into anything because it's a lie. Many choose the second option...hopefully you'll do better, unfortunately it's not likely, especially since all you want to hear is what you want to believe, even though it's just a fantasy. 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 You can waste a lot of time with pseudo-online romances. Years even. You need to be careful how seriously you are taking it all. I think that this guy is really bad news 1
Noproblem Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 It's not love, unless you met him in person then you know you love him for real...This is just something very similar to love, but not love! Don't mix internet infatuation with real life love They both end us badly and fill of lies and cheating, but yeah they are very different .... Also, this guy doesn't want you, he is a liar and a cheater, when he found out you wanted real relationship, he changed and left you.....
Author cluelessXgirl Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 It's not love, unless you met him in person then you know you love him for real...This is just something very similar to love, but not love! Don't mix internet infatuation with real life love They both end us badly and fill of lies and cheating, but yeah they are very different .... Also, this guy doesn't want you, he is a liar and a cheater, when he found out you wanted real relationship, he changed and left you..... Okay sure but why then would he want to come here live with me if he didn't want a relationship? He changed after I did the mistake of blocking him (for a really stupid reason). Everything changed after that. He said he was really hurt out of this and then he started hurting me.
Author cluelessXgirl Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 Unfortunately you're just a kid so you take things much more serious and to heart, you also fantasize way out of reality. He just simply needed someone to vent to and talk to, he used you as a crutch and you were available to him because you wanted to be a shoulder to cry on, plus you wanted a distraction with all the drama going on in your life. This whole little "romance" isn't real, it's just the typical puppy love of thinking you met someone "perfect" for you, even though it's not even a real relationship, it's all in your own imagination...and in this case he's just playing games with your head and doing enough to lead you on. You have two choices, knock yourself on the head and snap out of this fantasy, not talking to him anymore, and lettings this go and cutting contact permanently and in time you'll move on. Or being "confused" and going back and forth playing believing all the bullcrap that he tells you and then being surprised or disappointed when it doesn't result to anything...it doesn't result into anything because it's a lie. Many choose the second option...hopefully you'll do better, unfortunately it's not likely, especially since all you want to hear is what you want to believe, even though it's just a fantasy. I dont think I fantaqsized when he told me he wanted to spend his days with me and agreed to come live with me. Maybe I do need to snap out of it but one thing I am 100% sure is that before anything changed he did want to be with me ! My question is do you think there is something left out of it? Is it the reason why he is messaging again? And he is not trying to flirt or anything.
Author cluelessXgirl Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 Paragraphs are your friends. Well I can't be just friends with someone who did that. Why you ask?
Author cluelessXgirl Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 Get off online and stay offline. What you had with this guy is not a relationship, it's just an attachment to an internet addiction because you like to go on chatrooms. When I was 15, i used to be online all the time and placing an emphasis on having any kind of connections with people. It was a nice escape from reality but whatever occurs online isn't real. I'm now 23 and I have a life - school, work, family, friends. They are important to me. You need to stay offline and start making real friends who are there. And by the way I do have real friends
mortensorchid Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 This was/is an online relationship and it will never move past that. He was someone that you talked to on the Internet. There are many people I talk to who live far away or even in another country, chances are we will never meet. They are people that you talk to for one reason or another. If you are looking for something more substantial (which I think you are), look in your city or at least someplace reasonably closer.
Author cluelessXgirl Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 This was/is an online relationship and it will never move past that. He was someone that you talked to on the Internet. There are many people I talk to who live far away or even in another country, chances are we will never meet. They are people that you talk to for one reason or another. If you are looking for something more substantial (which I think you are), look in your city or at least someplace reasonably closer. Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how many people have come together from even different countries? It depends on how much you want it. And if he used to say he would move here then he would have coz there was no reason to lie Maybe I should move on but it's just not that easy.
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