Drseussgrrl Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I've been at my current job for about 3.5 years. There is a very cute and funny guy who works on my floor. Since the first time we met, I've always felt a very intense attraction to him, and hell if he doesn't flirt with me. I know he had a girlfriend at one point, but not sure of the status of that. I'm leaving my job in a few weeks to head back to my old company, and mentioned that to him last week. A few days later, I get an email asking if we can have lunch or drinks "before I retire", and included his cell. I responded back yes, and we shared a few jokes back and forth. Then, he sent me a calendar invite for next Thursday, titled "Tears in my Beers". Cute. Did I just agree to a date, or is he just being friendly?
carhill Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Hanging out is the new dating? IDK, back in my day that would be a date but, anymore, who knows? I guess you'll find out soon enough. 1
Emilia Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I'm leaving my job in a few weeks to head back to my old company, and mentioned that to him last week. A few days later, I get an email asking if we can have lunch or drinks "before I retire", and included his cell. I responded back yes, and we shared a few jokes back and forth. Then, he sent me a calendar invite for next Thursday, titled "Tears in my Beers". Cute. Did I just agree to a date, or is he just being friendly? Quite possibly a date as you never went out before and why would someone start now unless they didn't want to lose touch with you? Why would he not want to lose touch? It doesn't matter how you define it. It's an opportunity to get to know each other. Maybe he doesn't want to define it just yet? You will see how you get on quite quickly and whether there is chemistry 3
Author Drseussgrrl Posted April 21, 2013 Author Posted April 21, 2013 Hanging out is the new dating? IDK, back in my day that would be a date but, anymore, who knows? I guess you'll find out soon enough. Hanging out? I wouldn't say that as we have an official date and time set, complete with a calendar invite. Lol When a guy wants to hang out, there is usually no plan and it's last minute.
Author Drseussgrrl Posted April 21, 2013 Author Posted April 21, 2013 Quite possibly a date as you never went out before and why would someone start now unless they didn't want to lose touch with you? Why would he not want to lose touch? It doesn't matter how you define it. It's an opportunity to get to know each other. Maybe he doesn't want to define it just yet? You will see how you get on quite quickly and whether there is chemistry Thanks. The thing is, at least on my end, there IS a lot of chemistry. To the point where being around him makes me uncomfortable. I like hands, and he has really great hands. I always picture him in ways that would probably get me in trouble with HR. 2
Emilia Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Thanks. The thing is, at least on my end, there IS a lot of chemistry. To the point where being around him makes me uncomfortable. I like hands, and he has really great hands. I always picture him in ways that would probably get me in trouble with HR. well now you will find out whether it's mutual for sure. You will know really quickly
carhill Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Hanging out? I wouldn't say that as we have an official date and time set, complete with a calendar invite. Lol When a guy wants to hang out, there is usually no plan and it's last minute. The 'calendar invite' confuses/confused me. That sounds pretty indirect. In my generation and demographic, a man asks a woman in person or via phone. We don't send 'invites' and texts. I would say that my leaning towards 'hanging out', which I plagiarized from another LS'er, MrLonelyone, was predicated upon the very indirect way the man went about doing this. He's a co-worker. It's easy to ask you directly, in person. If a woman in my age group and demographic had approached me in such a manner as he approached you, and many have, I'd not consider it a date. YMMV. 1
Emilia Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 The 'calendar invite' confuses/confused me. That sounds pretty indirect. In my generation and demographic, a man asks a woman in person or via phone. We don't send 'invites' and texts. I would say that my leaning towards 'hanging out', which I plagiarized from another LS'er, MrLonelyone, was predicated upon the very indirect way the man went about doing this. He's a co-worker. It's easy to ask you directly, in person. If a woman in my age group and demographic had approached me in such a manner as he approached you, and many have, I'd not consider it a date. YMMV. I think it's work environment related. I can see why as a current colleague still he would take a more official route and the accepted one: send a calender invite as a colleague to a colleague. They still work together and have never spent time together as just the two of them. He is cautious. I can see this as a date
Author Drseussgrrl Posted April 21, 2013 Author Posted April 21, 2013 The 'calendar invite' confuses/confused me. That sounds pretty indirect. In my generation and demographic, a man asks a woman in person or via phone. We don't send 'invites' and texts. I would say that my leaning towards 'hanging out', which I plagiarized from another LS'er, MrLonelyone, was predicated upon the very indirect way the man went about doing this. He's a co-worker. It's easy to ask you directly, in person. If a woman in my age group and demographic had approached me in such a manner as he approached you, and many have, I'd not consider it a date. YMMV. Fair enough. I should specify that he mentioned that we should get together before I left when I told him in person that I was leaving. The email he followed up with a few days later I guess was to lock it down, and the calendar invite followed that exchange. 1
Emilia Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Fair enough. I should specify that he mentioned that we should get together before I left when I told him in person that I was leaving. The email he followed up with a few days later I guess was to lock it down, and the calendar invite followed that exchange. Makes perfect sense. IF it's a date, this is the transition step
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I don't think this is a date but there may be a potential for one in the future. He also may still be taken. I have done lunch, drinks, dinner with a few taken colleagues (one at a time) and even though they initiated it, they didn't mean it in "that" way. If he is single, yeah, different story. 1
Disinterested Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I've been at my current job for about 3.5 years. There is a very cute and funny guy who works on my floor. Since the first time we met, I've always felt a very intense attraction to him, and hell if he doesn't flirt with me. I know he had a girlfriend at one point, but not sure of the status of that. I'm leaving my job in a few weeks to head back to my old company, and mentioned that to him last week. A few days later, I get an email asking if we can have lunch or drinks "before I retire", and included his cell. I responded back yes, and we shared a few jokes back and forth. Then, he sent me a calendar invite for next Thursday, titled "Tears in my Beers". Cute. Did I just agree to a date, or is he just being friendly? You'll find out by the end of it. I wouldn't be surprised if you leaving startled him into asking you out since he could lose his chance.
Disinterested Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I don't think this is a date but there may be a potential for one in the future. He also may still be taken. I have done lunch, drinks, dinner with a few taken colleagues (one at a time) and even though they initiated it, they didn't mean it in "that" way. If he is single, yeah, different story. Oh they meant it that way but that was as far as their leash extended.
candie13 Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 It's not a formal date, but it's a date nonetheless. I believe he's testing the waters. Let's put it this way, if you were dating a guy already and I'd be him, I'd be pissed to hear about you having drinks, by yourself, with this dude. Opposite sex people don't "do" drinks. They test each other. Oh, and I think he's using the invite / email to blow some smoke in your eyes, and conceal his interest. Because... he is interested.
Author Drseussgrrl Posted April 21, 2013 Author Posted April 21, 2013 Welp, we've been texting a bit today. He's definitely single.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I guess you'll find out if it's a date soon enough.
Star Gazer Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I don't think this is a date but there may be a potential for one in the future. He also may still be taken. I have done lunch, drinks, dinner with a few taken colleagues (one at a time) and even though they initiated it, they didn't mean it in "that" way. If he is single, yeah, different story. Agreed. I've had a couple colleagues leave my office for another unit, and they behaved the way this guy did. It was strictly platonic.
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 It's a date, a subtle date that leaves the options open...and if he accidentally falls in your vagina it's a hookup! I mean, you're leaving the company...he wasn't close to you before now right? now he wants to take you out for a last minute drink? that's like seeing the girl from out-of-town, there's no obligation or commitment...you'll be gone once you're gone, perfect time to get his licks in without consequence. Plus, if you do hit it off and end up in bed together at some point...he can just give you the ole soft playful punch to the chin "Well kid....you were a good time, so don't get down about this...but I just out of a relationship, I haven't gotten over my ex, and I'll probably even get back with her even though I gave you a sad story on how I was the victim..but anyway, you take care now you hear....you're a real gem, some guy will be happy to have you :: horse click noise with tongue:: get on, get!" 3
Star Gazer Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 It's a date, a subtle date that leaves the options open...and if he accidentally falls in your vagina it's a hookup! I mean, you're leaving the company...he wasn't close to you before now right? now he wants to take you out for a last minute drink? that's like seeing the girl from out-of-town, there's no obligation or commitment...you'll be gone once you're gone, perfect time to get his licks in without consequence. Plus, if you do hit it off and end up in bed together at some point...he can just give you the ole soft playful punch to the chin "Well kid....you were a good time, so don't get down about this...but I just out of a relationship, I haven't gotten over my ex, and I'll probably even get back with her even though I gave you a sad story on how I was the victim..but anyway, you take care now you hear....you're a real gem, some guy will be happy to have you :: horse click noise with tongue:: get on, get!" I change my mind. I totally agree with this. Be careful about falling into a hookup, but have fun!
Author Drseussgrrl Posted April 22, 2013 Author Posted April 22, 2013 It's a date, a subtle date that leaves the options open...and if he accidentally falls in your vagina it's a hookup! I mean, you're leaving the company...he wasn't close to you before now right? now he wants to take you out for a last minute drink? that's like seeing the girl from out-of-town, there's no obligation or commitment...you'll be gone once you're gone, perfect time to get his licks in without consequence. Plus, if you do hit it off and end up in bed together at some point...he can just give you the ole soft playful punch to the chin "Well kid....you were a good time, so don't get down about this...but I just out of a relationship, I haven't gotten over my ex, and I'll probably even get back with her even though I gave you a sad story on how I was the victim..but anyway, you take care now you hear....you're a real gem, some guy will be happy to have you :: horse click noise with tongue:: get on, get!" Well that's a big assumption, but I don't date people from work anyway. If he had wanted to "date" me before, no chance.
xilver Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I'd consider it a date. However, many girls I know would dismiss it as something less than a date unless the guy really puts himself out there and makes a solid effort. The point is you two will be alone and that is an opportunity to build intimacy.
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 (edited) Well that's a big assumption, but I don't date people from work anyway. If he had wanted to "date" me before, no chance. It's not as much of an assumption as an assessment. This is the "behavior" he is revealing to me, the timing, his demeanor, his personality (judging from your description), the way he established a date, the fact that you thought he wasn't even single (which tells me he definitely still may not be)...I don't just guess at this stuff, I just connect the dots with the little information present, it still paints a picture. Does he have the ability to read your mind and or in some way would know you don't date co-workers? and even if so, would that stop a man from trying in your experience? Is there a reason this funny man wouldn't even have attempted to "hang out" before? after all he didn't really ask you on a date even now, did he? I see no reason or justification from what you've said or described to imagine this would just be a platonic outing, all things considered. I think it will end on platonic terms if he doesn't make a move, however I highly doubt that with the last minute "retirement party", which you would think more people would be attended if it was much of a party Party in yo pants! Random LS Poster: "hmm that ninja pjs sure makes a lot of sense and makes some good points.....ah well he doesn't know what EVERY man is thinking, so anywaaaaaaayz! IIIII thiiiiiink ::insert optimistic/supportive post::" Edited April 22, 2013 by Ninjainpajamas
Author Drseussgrrl Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 Update: I just bumped into him near the elevators, as he was on his way out the door for lunch. I said "Hey how are you?" and he responded with a rather monotone, "Hey how's it going" then just stepped on without trying to further the conversation. I feel kind of stupid now, and thinking I read way too much into this.
KatZee Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 People have their off days. This or he's trying to play it cool and not seem so excited for their "date" or whatever it is.
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