angola_1974 Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Hello all, i'm writing here for the first time, because i really need some help. This is how it goes: I was in a 6 years relationship, and start dating some girls. After 6 months (we break up in september) i start dating one girl from my university, i didn't knew her, just from our classes. On the first date we've kiss, and then things escalate quickly. Her boyfriend break with her 1 month before we start dating (she had been with him for 3 years). She he's very busy in university taking her master, and i'm currently working, so i dont have so much time to be together. And i've some discussions because of that. First i want more time with her, and she says that she want to take it easy. Then i just want the time that i'm with her, she's happy with me, and she was like "when is going to leave? i need to work". So she break-up our non relation, because of the "fights" during this one month that we hang out. She says she wants to be alone, and with time to herself. Question: - I like this girl, and want her. I already talk to her to say that we shouldn't do this, and try to make things work, but she was kind of cold person. What should i do? Talk to her? Try to start things from the beginning? Forget her? Help my guys, please
Am4Real Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 If I understand you correctly: she just ended a LDR with another person and quickly met you and dated as it felt right for you. She lets you know she just ended a LDR, is busy at school and would like to take it easy. That makes good sense to me. She is probably trying to sort out her past feelings with her EX, feelings for you, school and work life, and everything else. What do you do? You push her for more time with you. Bada-bing-bada-bong. Wrong move buddy! Next, during this tender stage you argue or fight with her. Drum roll again, please....and: Wrong move buddy! Look, if I were her I'd be thinking you're pushy, argumentative and don't listen to her needs like that of giving her the requested "space and time". That's three negatives right there. What are you thinking your chances are if you keep pushing? Leave her alone, give her space, tell her you're there if and when she gets caught up in her life and smile like a trooper the entire time you're telling it to her. Then GET OUT OF HER WAY! If she really likes you, she will respect the fact you actually listened and might give you a call; if not, you know where you stand. Hello all, i'm writing here for the first time, because i really need some help. This is how it goes: I was in a 6 years relationship, and start dating some girls. After 6 months (we break up in september) i start dating one girl from my university, i didn't knew her, just from our classes. On the first date we've kiss, and then things escalate quickly. Her boyfriend break with her 1 month before we start dating (she had been with him for 3 years). She he's very busy in university taking her master, and i'm currently working, so i dont have so much time to be together. And i've some discussions because of that. First i want more time with her, and she says that she want to take it easy. Then i just want the time that i'm with her, she's happy with me, and she was like "when is going to leave? i need to work". So she break-up our non relation, because of the "fights" during this one month that we hang out. She says she wants to be alone, and with time to herself. Question: - I like this girl, and want her. I already talk to her to say that we shouldn't do this, and try to make things work, but she was kind of cold person. What should i do? Talk to her? Try to start things from the beginning? Forget her? Help my guys, please
TearyEyedPride Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 School is a real challenge, so I think it's important to respect her need for time, space and studying. Be supportive. On the other hand... right now, it seems like you're becoming a persistent cause of stress. Maybe she wasn't ready to be that serious right then and the pace was moving too fast. It sounds like she has a lot going on mentally. She's distanced herself from you. Respect that, and focus on YOU not her. Keep it moving, If she changes her mind I'm sure she'll reach out, if not then at least you didn't waste your time waiting. 1
Author angola_1974 Posted April 21, 2013 Author Posted April 21, 2013 Both of you have a point, and are certanly right. Ty for your reply!! But the thing is, we talk like by phone, and i was only like 15m/20m per day with her. She didnt have so much time... First discussion: One day i was thinking to invite her to take some coffee, and she tell me that is going to be hard this month (lots of work). But then she tells me that is going out with his friends. That's the first discussion. But i understand and never ask her that... Second discussion: The problem now was the short time that i was with her, like 2 in 2 days, or 3 in 3 days, she was like not to talk much, and more closed to her... (In that time, she invite me to her aniversary, with his friends and introduce me to them) We discussed and she apologyse to me, i did the same to her, this by phone call (she was far from my city). All good... The final problem, in that day i've been in a party, and sleep the next entire day... she texts me in the morning, and i only respond in the beginning of the night... and she didnt say nothing. The next day i text her, she doesnt reply. Then she tells me that didnt have money in her phone, and that she was dissapointed by the fact that i didnt replied to her sms... The day goes on, and in the late of the day e tell her if she wants that i pass in university to give her a kiss, she tells yes, because she wants to talk... Conclusion: 1- If i would replied to her sms, she probably didnt break with me. She told me that, that help to make her decision of breaking up. 2- She didnt take the iniciate to talk to me. If i didnt say that "hey, do u want me to pass in the university today?", she probably didnt break with me... That keep me thinking that was something decided in a rush, i dunno. I was very sweet with her, she tell me that i was very intersting i she like me, but not in mood for a 100% relation. I have some deep phisical connection in this month... So it's not just one more for me... I'm afraid that lose her, because our lifes are not compatible. In my day life i probably wont see her if i dont try to be in university or something. In that way the chances that we still be friends and i gain points with her, are ver low...
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