Weathergirl Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 You have to be satisfied you have done your best. It's all well and good people saying don't contact him, he's no good, he's moved on, you need to let go. Although what people are saying is right, I had to be sure myself that it was like that, because I made multiple excuses for him. It brought me here, 14 months down the line, this time I am satisfied that it is the right thing to do. You will get there too. Sometimes breaking NC, along with all the pain, hurt and disappointment it brings, makes us realise it really is the only way to go. All the best x
Author i.am Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 I don't know why I still can't give up. A feeling inside me tells me he is too stressed by reality of life. It's not he doesn't love me anymore. But I don't know what I can do other than letting him go.
whichwayisup Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 (edited) I don't know why I still can't give up. A feeling inside me tells me he is too stressed by reality of life. It's not he doesn't love me anymore. But I don't know what I can do other than letting him go. Ask him to buy out your half of the house, get it assessed. This way you won't have to see or speak to him again. You have no choice but to let him go. I feel for you, it hurts and your pain screams through your posts - Break ups are awful. Keep venting, writing and journal your thoughts. Write him letters but do not send them. This is theraputic for you. Give yourself time to grieve the loss, don't beat up on yourself, don't blame yourself. Sometimes relationships just don't work and even if you love him and he loves you, that isn't a guarantee that it's long lasting or forever. Ask your friends to help you. Not in the sense of talking to them all the time about the break up and how crappy you feel, but to check in on you daily, get you out and about. See a funny movie. Laugh! Be silly, make yourself just do it. Any distraction is good, even singing and listening to music can perk you up. You can't sit and think of this 24/7, it'll drive you nuts! How can I actually make myself love myself more when I can't come up with anything that could make me happy. Do two things..One make yourself a big list of all the things you love about yourself. Include your accomplishments, positive things all about you. Then, ask your most trusted friends to make up a list what they love about you, list your great qualities. SPA day. You and the girls. You need it! Just read another thread in this section.. Let it inspire you, give you strength! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/389316-some-things-i-have-learned-6-5-months-post-breakup Edited April 27, 2013 by whichwayisup
Author i.am Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 Thank you, whichwayisup. He said he wants to keep our house. When I asked for his reason, he said no reason. And I told him since we're no longer together, there is no reason to keep the house. He said to him, they are both of different matters, the house and relationship. So I shouldn't be using the house as a "threat" to ask him to be back in our relationship. So if I really wish to sell the house, so be it. I don't know how men think. I hope someone can enlighten me. My gfs are all married and busy with their own lives. That's the toughest. And I'm learning to be alone by myself. Taking very baby steps cause I'm totally not used to it. Talking here or chatting with anyone is probably what is keeping me saint lately. Else my mind will go berserk.
Author i.am Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 It's the end. I'm gonna start my NC all over again. Spoke to him and realised that he is emotionally unavailable now (perhaps to me only or other ladies as well. that I'm not sure). He's just not mine anymore and I really have to let go. My heart aches but I know no matter what I need to move on. I need to pick myself up again.
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