Where do I go?

[bap27]

2 months ago I meet this attractive small, cute girl through some friends. She starts chatting to me, we exchange numbers and start texting. Arrange for me to accompany her out one night with friends, then we start texting more and more. A week or so later I ask her out on a date because its comes clear to me that she is interested in pursuing 'something' with me, everything goes great. A few days later we go out for drinks one on one and hook up, back to my place. Things go great and I feel a connection I haven't felt before.

 

We start seeing each other frequently (spending nights together and weekends), and the more and more I see her the more and more I like her. We exchange words like 'I haven't had feelings like this so quick'. A couple of weeks in its clear that I am ready to make this a bit more serious then it is, especially the way she speaks about me and the connection we have made.

 

Everything is normal, so I ask her if she would like to step this up to a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. She says yes without thinking. A few weeks on Her birthday pops up and she introduces me to her family and friends as her boyfriend. They all end up getting along with me and her father approves of me which he has never done before (I had met him a few times before). Everything still seems normal until she starts becoming slower and slower with replies. We start seeing each other less, replies are blunt and minimal. We ended up having a few disagreements about how we treat the other half but nothing serious just the normal relationship talk.

 

One morning she starts ignoring my texts but after hours of no reply she finally replies and after asking her whats wrong she explains that she had just been in a relationship for over 2 years (I had already previously knew about this. She was cheated on for over a year and had her life, friends and time cut off by this guy.) and that she hates titles, that she is not ready to answer to anyone, she needs her own time space etc, she is just getting her life back. I tell her I fully understand where she is coming from and I see her point of view.

 

Things from here on are up and down, her texts are still distant and it starts become quite evident that she is at times ignoring my messages/calls. No weekend hangs. I end up helping her move to a house 5mins from mine, which makes me think that we might see each other a little more being so close. At this stage I can see that she wants to pull back on the relationship and ease off.

 

We would usually see each other Tuesday so I decide thats the day Ill tackle this with what ever outcome but she blows me off, I decide to tell her that we need to talk just for 5 and she finally agrees. We exchange words and remove the title to make this less serious then it 'was'. Things look ok the next day and she messages me 'I do really wish I was ready to be what you want'. But things go back to being short quite quickly. I simply ask 'Do you not want to continue?' and why she is so distant with talking/seeing each other. With quite a few words exchanged she says accept me for me otherwise lets not waste each others time, that this is how she is and that she does like me and wants to continue being in what ever this is.

 

Now I am confused as where to take this. I do like her and I would love to continue to see her, I try to organise hangouts but they are usually shut down by her being tired, it being too late or she will ignore the message until a later time. She will still talk but replies are delayed and its clear that she is ignoring them from her frequent face-booking. I do understand her work hours and social life. Shes explained she doesn't have much time and the time she has is all she can give. I just cant understand why she would want to continue if she had no interest, shes a popular attractive female who would get the attention she thrives if she needed it, quite easily.

Edited April 21, 2013 by bap27

[Archgirl]

I'm sorry babe but I think you are trying to fight a losing battle. And you are the only one doing any of the fighting.

 

There's just no way to make her return your feelings, because it looks a lot like you care for her a lot more than she does you.

 

I know its hard to give up when the beginning is so amazing but it's not amazing anymore.

 

The best thing you can do here for yourself is cut your losses, get outta there, get over her and thus allow yourself to meet someone on the same page.

 

Best of luck xoxo