LoveHurts88 Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 It's been 9 months since we broke up and now she has a new boyfriend, but I still miss her and want her back although I know for a fact I can't take her back. I haven't talked to her for about a month now and well I don't plan to. It just sometimes I miss her so much and I don't want to feel like this anymore because she's obviously moved on. A month ago she thought about coming back to me. I knew they got into a fight and of course they're back together. She was just using me as a back up and what not and I was pissed. But why do I still want her back it's been so long....
crimsoncurrent Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 The reason you still want her back is because you didn't sever contact with her in the beginning stages of the breakup. I'm not trying to sound rude, but as someone that's going on his 4 months of NC after a nearly 4 year relationship, it's vital that you do this as soon as possible. It's very difficult and painful, but nonetheless, necessary. I hope this experience has made you realize that NC is the only means to heal completely. Also, you don't want to be someone's back-up plan, during those moments when she gets into a conflict in her new relationship. In my opinion, NC is the most self-respecting decision you can make when healing from a difficult breakup. 2
Weathergirl Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 OP, take it from me. I am 14 months down the line of not having been able to let go. I was his back-up plan too. Each time they argued, he came to me. I was hoping he would see the light and come running back. He didn't. If I'd have gone NC and listened to good advice, I'd be we'll on the road to recovery. I am on day 2 no contact, this time because I want to. Unless you change something you will continue to hurt and feel like this. I've wasted too must time, and tortured myself hanging on. If it was meant to be she will come back, in the meantime let go, move on, much easier said than done, I know, but essential. I wish you well 1
Sav Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 It's like idk 7 months? since me and my ex broke up. I do still miss her but I'm so much alright and better without her. I've maintained nc since and sometimes I just wish I would forget about her totally. However, I've come very very far from not being able to eat and sleep and that says alot about keeping nc 1
AKisBaked Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I don't know your relationship and what went down but if your reaching 9 months and still feeling emotionally torn by this girl, there must been something that "YOU" were doing that is causing yourself to not move on with your life. You mentioned you haven't talked to her for a month. What were you doing for the other 8 months?! I'm not trying to drill you, but dude you set yourself up for a longer recovery period from all this. I suggest you really STOP and go NC. NC is not going to get your gf back, but it gives you the time and respect for yourself to recover from all this hurt that your going through. NC gives you the opportunity to see life in a different perspective, and you will realize that life is full of experiences and new opportunities and lifes not bad being (the word everyone hates to hear on this site) SINGLE. Just give yourself time to recover and get your mind together. Right now your dealing with a crazy amount of mental and emotional stress... And I know how much it can take a toll on you. It's exhausting. Bro, it's time for you to focus on YOU don't give up.
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