bdizzle Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Back again. Back Story: Broke up in mid December. Went NC. 2 days short of three weeks she txts me (new years eve/day 1amish) she says Happy New Year, wasnt the same without you meet, will you meet me on Wednesday...We meet that Friday. We talk, we decide couples counseling. She is living in my previous home rent free for well over a 1.5 years now. Fast forward through jan-march. We have an argument. I mention in the heat of the moment she needs to be out in July but we'll figure out arrangements and such, not breaking up but definitely not a good move on my part. The next week we hardly talk, very very strained relationship. Go to counseling. She tells us we need to not talk for a week (to reasses what is important), come back the following week and we'll go from there. April 4th. One week no contact outside of meeting her for court for child support readjustment with her kids' father (wednesday, April 3). I thought she could use a friend in her corner. Anyway, hardly talk, see her, we have a quick lunch, again hardly say a word, and leave. Both say see you tomorrow for counseling. Wednesday night I ask her via txt if she still wants to continue the relationship, her response "this time apart has been good for me, figuring things out, spending time with kids, etc" Day of, she txts me saying she has dr appointment and she might be late. I go to counseling. She never showed. I call her up after counseling and say "no need to explain or excuses, just wanted to tell you I hope you figure your things out, let the boys know I love them" She says what does that mean. I say "As you said last night you have some searching and figuring out to do and I hope you do." I say I love you and I love the boys, she says I love you too. I say when you're ready to contact me, you know where I am at. She says "Ok, well I love you." I say I love you too, she then says I will talk to you later. No contact for 2 weeks, which brings us to today. BBQ festival with friends, one of them asks me, "dare I ask, have you heard from her or ended it on your terms" My response was no, I didnt do anything to deserve this, so no i have not contacted her" she says thats so weird. I come home. Without even giving it a second thought, i break NC and text her with "So are you ready to talk to me yet or no?" No response. I respond with Okay, guess not. I see it shows up as an imessage, so you finally got your iphone, congratulations." (shes been wiating for tax return). She finally responds with "I am at the pool and I didnt have my phone thats why I didnt respond and yes I got my phone today." I say congratulations. And Silence. So besides absolutely kicking myself for breaking a solid two weeks of really getting myself together and actually being okay with things, I now have to start over. Now, that info aside, I've run in to some other hurdles that have been on my mind: 1. I am graduating may 10, she knows this as she said on that wednesday we met at court "I got that day off for your graduation" (i didnt respond). Do I send her an invitation? Do I not? 2. The housing situation...I don't know what to do? Suck it up and let her stay there until July as stated or just post a 5 day notice as advised by my real estate agent and be done with it? My friend has specifically said "shes just using you now for rent free living" which I've known for a while and shes point blankely stated "I can't make it on my own." My original thinking before I screwed myself today was If she comes around before my graduation which at the time would have been 1 month no contact, then maybe we can see what happens. If she doesnt show up for that then shes definitely not going to Hawaii (June 1-8 trip bought her plane ticket and everything). I seriously am so stuck right now. I have determined that I am at my breaking point as she has ignored me for the past month or so and now shes spending all this money on clothes, phones, and whatever else like she has it simply because she has her tax return. I have a history with this girl of always doing the tail between the legs running. I did the calling, or txting, or letters, or showing up. I went three weeks before she contacted me, i went two weeks this time but screwed it up. So back to NC obviously. Or do i confront her?! Don't know if shes dating, probably is, who knows, irrelevant really. Don't know if shes made living arrangements, but if shes blowing her money now as far back as she is, shes not going to have enough to live on her own in the first place. Everyone told me you'll hear from her again. Mom said before graduation, freidn said probably to discuss living arrangements, counselor also said I'll hear from her again. I blew that and txted her today. I just don't know what to do about the house, or the trip, or graduation? Or just go over there, tell her whats what and be done with it? I really have no idea. I'm just so pissed at myself right now. Was doing so well, standing my ground. I just gave her back all the power and that I'm weak. Help. Anything, anyone! More info as needed or requested. I'm at a loss of what to do.
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