Article for a bad day.

[jumbojet123]

Autostraddle ? The Best Break-Up Advice You?ll Ever Get

 

Read that today, made me feel good for 5 minutes.

 

Been up and down, off contact with him though. My friend tried to get my stuff back and he refused saying if I want it I am no stranger, I can come get it and hang out, and he never hurt me he did nothing wrong by wanting to be alone. He was talking and acting completely fine, whatever. I called for the first time, contacting first time since february. Our mutual friend's birthday was Thursday, i asked what he would like..then I laid it out..he gave the the BS, saying it was nice to hear from me, we should hang out, catch up, how is work, he has a new car -- GARBAGE!! How can you talk like this after what you did?! . I mentioned I lost 20 pounds, broken heart, trying my best, trying to get by without a home is hard, couch hopping and all. Would have liked him to dump me in June not January, a year is harder to bounce back from living with someone you love, it would have been easier to get over just a couple months, if he just wanted to be alone, since that is his only reason. all i got was..im sorry..if you change your mind, you can come visit, see Tiger (the cat). yeah that cat was my world. He does not understand and never will. He thinks its weird I can't be friends and see him..i cannot even go near his TOWN let alone see him! My friends don't get him either. He is a human being without the capability to have emotion I guess. I do not want him back yet I cry every night from the memories, being lonely, missing who i THOUGHT he was. I hate how he still has this hold on me. I have blocked and unblocked his stupid facebook many times, only to torture myself. It is misery.

 

I hate being lonely, not having anywhere to really live. Having "sort of" friends who come and go to help me, but are not really there. My one friend who was here for me had to go back to the UK.

 

Trying to spend my time focusing on my job, fixing up my truck, riding my friend's fat horse that needs exercise badly, planning some hunting and diving trips that I cannot afford. Just trying to make plans that will probably not happen, just to have something to think about. I don't know what else to really do at this point. The loneliness missing him is evil. Missing the idea of him and the memories, because who he is now is a stranger I do not even know.

 

 

To everyone. You are all strong. This pain and torture that is killing us is obviously not doing a good job since we are currently alive and breathing, somehow, at least for now.