Weathergirl Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 In brief - I was with someone for 3 years. After 3 years, he told me he needed space. He was buying a house and needed to concentrate on that. So I give him space.. 3 months later his new gf calls me. I hit rock bottom. I can't give him up, so I ignore all advice of staying NC and try to be friends, I think this will help. It doesn't. Each time we stay in touch it kills me. I try NC, I can't stick to it. So here I am, 14 months later. I have finally realised enough is enough. I need to help myself, because staying in touch hasn't helped me, it's made it worse, much worse. I ignored all advice as I thought my way was easier for me - it wasn't. I've felt my heart sink when I see updates on FB about him, I've spent days in bed. I've cried. Yes, I am a fool, and what I thought was the path of least resistance made my pain even more intense. So I learnt the hard way. Today is day 1 NC, this time I will do it. I have to. Please please, all those out there that think staying in touch helps - I can assure you in my case it made it worse. I can't be friends with this guy, and I told him this yesterday. It hurts too much when I know he will be spending the weekend with someone else. 2
beyond Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Hi Hun, Sometimes the hard way is the ONLY way to learn. Yes, you may have been a 'fool', but most of us are fools at some point where love is concerned. I have nothing really to say as you have worked it all out for yourself - not that that makes it any less painful! ((hugs)) xx 1
Jord11 Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 You have to do it! Don't give in, it's a roller coaster ride that's for sure but be strong is all I say, if my ex misses me or wants to start over she can text me stick with nc! 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 BU & NC - It sucks! It's terrible. It's about the worst thing I can think of except for being told I have 2 weeks to live (at least then I would be out of this pain ). But it is sooo necessary. Just read the never ending supply of posts from people just like you, just like me, just like all of us... I, myself, am at 35 days and I won't lie. It's a roller coaster of emotions, progress and set backs. Sorry. But that's the way it is. However, you will be doing the right thing and ending the self-inflicted torture you must surely be enduring right now Stay strong. Keep in touch with the LS family. We are all in the same boat... 1
crimsoncurrent Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I want to congratulate you on your decision with going NC. It's nearly been 100 days of NC for me, and let me tell you, it is a long, painful road. However, it's a much better alternative than what you've been doing. Breaking NC only prolongs the healing of a breakup creating unnecessary pain for your to endure. I wish you the best and continue to remain NC. Do whatever it takes. Welcome to emotional sobriety and restoration. 1
cavalier99 Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Just the title of your thread gave me a sick feeling. "Day 1 NC". At least you starting. This is truly the way to heal. Im 6.5 Months Post BU and NC the whole way. If it wasnt for NC im sure id still be suffering and it would have taken me forever to get over my 8 years RS. Maybe up to a year. If you stay NC i promise youll get over it. Cav 1
mutant Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I did the same thing the entire last year and even tried setting up a company which my ex would help me manage hoping that we would somehow find our way back together. The company failed and the ex left me for greener grass.. for you, this is day-break, it may not seem like it right now but this is the right decision. its unfortunate that we have to learn the hard way before we can make the right move. 1
Compromize Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Welcome! We are here for you All of us are going through this. I have this minds eye view of this place like a triage center, the wounded coming in and the healed moving on, some staying out of compassion to help the new wounded. No matter NC/LC/All Kinds of Contact, it all hurts. At least with NC there (should be) is a finite amount of time in the worst, most painful parts before you start to heal. I hear that the rule of thumb to being truly healed in 1/2 of the amount of time that you were together. So I guess that means another 1.2 years for me Well I guess a positive is that I am so used to feeling melancholy that when I do get to the point of feeling good again and maybe even fall in love again that I will be able to appreciate it that much more. 1
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