ja123 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 However, having been married, and having had prior LTR's, IMO it's a quantum difference in the 'texture' of the dynamic. So what about a person who was never married but had 2 common-law LTRs (one of 4.5 years, and one of 8.5 years)? Would that be like 2 marriages in your opinion? Or would that still be a different dynamic to marriage, in your opinion? P.S. I agree with Radu: date, Carhill, you're quite a catch!
mtber75 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 I'm approaching 40 and at this point it looks like I'll be single for a while! Now I'm not that type to bury my head in the sand and cry because of this. I mainly choose to be single for this long. I'm the most comfortable being single! Of course, I would love to find a woman that is compatible with me to journey through life's challenges. Now to the OP question, why would you dismiss an "never married" over 40 group? Wouldn't you want this group because they don't have past relationship baggage? That is an old way of though...They are not married at their age because there must be something WRONG with them? Some people just don't want to get married at any age!
Author curlygirl40 Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 I'm approaching 40 and at this point it looks like I'll be single for a while! Now I'm not that type to bury my head in the sand and cry because of this. I mainly choose to be single for this long. I'm the most comfortable being single! Of course, I would love to find a woman that is compatible with me to journey through life's challenges. Now to the OP question, why would you dismiss an "never married" over 40 group? Wouldn't you want this group because they don't have past relationship baggage? That is an old way of though...They are not married at their age because there must be something WRONG with them? Some people just don't want to get married at any age! I don't immediately dismiss them, but I do usually want to know why they never married. Concentrating on a career? Committment phobe? Had a couple of long term relationships that never worked out? I will agree that it does make me go 'hmmmmm' in the beginning like when I first see their profile. Also the other factor that sometimes comes into play is that I'm never sure what they can relate to. As in, I'm not sure how compatable we will be since our lives have gone different paths. This might be o.k, it might not. Depends. If I meet a guy in his 40's who never married with no kids and he likes to travel all of the time, goes away a lot of weekends, etc., etc. well that doesn't suit my lifestyle so I think that right there would make us not compatable. Not that I wouldn't like to do those things, but I'm raising 2 kids here who's father only sees them on occasional weekends. I wouldn't feel right leaving them home all of the time for a relationship like that. I feel like I have responsibilities with them. So that's all really. I would like to know how they got to where they are in life (I wonder this about everyone I date actually) and if the fact that I have two kids at home that are my main priority will interfere with a potential future relationship with them if they don't have children and can't relate to where I'm at. 1
candie13 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 I'm 30 and have no intention on ever getting married. I hope when I'm 40+ I'm not looked down upon by women in their 30's. If they do, I'll just lie and tell them I do plan on marriage or date girls in their 20's. Problem solved. as long as no woman stays with you in the hope of marriage and kids... actually, if you really are convinced about your choices, you shouldn't really care about anyone "looking down on you" and even less lie to them 1
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