cbguy Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 I had a friend that I really liked and I guess she liked me a lot too. This was my first real relationship with a girl and predictably I messed it up royally. I was too clingy, childish and told her the extent of my feelings too late. As you can imagine I got the "You are just a good friend speech, you are too childish, I really respect you but I don't see you in that way...". Again I messed up the being dumped properly thing too...real bad. I reacted poorly publicly-shouted at her, then sent a you dumped me email and put up an anonymous confession which unfortunately she read. I tried to maintain NC, but after we unblocked each other, and said the let's be friends thing. She texted me using her nickname for me. Me being the idiot that I am started to text back the occasional hey, what's up texts. I got a polite luke warm replies back. I came across this site and when I read CaliGuy's NC guide; I cringed, I did everything that it says I shouldn't. My anger at her and my chagrin at being turned down is over and I do wish her well. But... I feel like a jackass. I promise I'm not this bad usually... God I messed up bad... I still feel bad when I see her IM'ing my friends or when I see her in person. She waves hi and I wave back too making polite conversations. But it feels weird being formal with a person that I was so close too. I can't maintain NC now after this, it would be very childish-even by my standards. I know this relationship is never going to come to fruit- I did all the wrong moves, instead of moving cleanly from it I did the whole email, boohoo is me stuff. She probably thinks I'm an immature twat-and she would be right... I wish I read the stuff here before, it could have made all the difference. This should be compulsory reading for everyone in a relationship(or not in one as in my case...). Also facebook is killer, her posts come on my feed, sometimes I see comments by a guy and I get depressed, I recently clicked the unfollow option for her posts. I would like to totally cut my facebook usage but it's become too intrinsic and too much of a boredom buster. I'm trying to cut down on my footprint on social network though... I have a question, it's not whether what I did was wrong, I know the answer is yes...but has anyone else messed up this bad? Tell me I'm not the biggest idiot in the world. As a rule I'm generally not an anti woman male chauvinistic pig, I hope I am more mature in my interactions with women further. 1
Astros1039 Posted April 22, 2013 Posted April 22, 2013 I had a friend that I really liked and I guess she liked me a lot too. This was my first real relationship with a girl and predictably I messed it up royally. I was too clingy, childish and told her the extent of my feelings too late. As you can imagine I got the "You are just a good friend speech, you are too childish, I really respect you but I don't see you in that way...". Again I messed up the being dumped properly thing too...real bad. I reacted poorly publicly-shouted at her, then sent a you dumped me email and put up an anonymous confession which unfortunately she read. I tried to maintain NC, but after we unblocked each other, and said the let's be friends thing. She texted me using her nickname for me. Me being the idiot that I am started to text back the occasional hey, what's up texts. I got a polite luke warm replies back. I came across this site and when I read CaliGuy's NC guide; I cringed, I did everything that it says I shouldn't. My anger at her and my chagrin at being turned down is over and I do wish her well. But... I feel like a jackass. I promise I'm not this bad usually... God I messed up bad... I still feel bad when I see her IM'ing my friends or when I see her in person. She waves hi and I wave back too making polite conversations. But it feels weird being formal with a person that I was so close too. I can't maintain NC now after this, it would be very childish-even by my standards. I know this relationship is never going to come to fruit- I did all the wrong moves, instead of moving cleanly from it I did the whole email, boohoo is me stuff. She probably thinks I'm an immature twat-and she would be right... I wish I read the stuff here before, it could have made all the difference. This should be compulsory reading for everyone in a relationship(or not in one as in my case...). Also facebook is killer, her posts come on my feed, sometimes I see comments by a guy and I get depressed, I recently clicked the unfollow option for her posts. I would like to totally cut my facebook usage but it's become too intrinsic and too much of a boredom buster. I'm trying to cut down on my footprint on social network though... I have a question, it's not whether what I did was wrong, I know the answer is yes...but has anyone else messed up this bad? Tell me I'm not the biggest idiot in the world. As a rule I'm generally not an anti woman male chauvinistic pig, I hope I am more mature in my interactions with women further. We've all been there. My advice is to wait a couple days, then send one last text saying you apologize for being so emotional, and it's not like you to be that way. After that, don't text her again and don't reply. 1
Author cbguy Posted April 25, 2013 Author Posted April 25, 2013 I apologized to her, but I can't maintain complete NC- we are in the same class. It took me some time, but I'm in a much better frame of mind now. I'm not mad at all at her, and I get that she had every right to say no to me and was probably right. I still feel sad when I think about the memories that we had which can't be had again and when I went to the movie theater that we first went to I felt like being punched in the gut. But I'll get over it, thanks a lot loveshack, you have some amazing people in this community and some really good stuff here.
flight E Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Dont tink u shld be too hard on yourself. Everyone can get emotional its not dat u were childish etc, i had a similar tin but in my own case me and dis girl even dated though unofficially for a while. Late it turned into some kind of friendship she dumped me yesterday and i got emotional. I wil not apologize to someone that treated me badly i tink the best you can do is to try and move on. Dont apologize dont try to be her friend. Behave as if you dont give a **** about her or what she feels. You may be suprised what this can cause
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