How has breaking up with a MM/MW changed your view on relationships?

[ViresSanctity]

My break up with a MW is still so fresh in my mind. It's more painful and confusing than any relationships I've ended before. It twisted the way I view myself - the boundaries I would cross and the values I never thought I would forsake. It put me outside the limit of what I thought I was capable.

 

It also puts me at a distrust of future long term commitments. My dream was to have a normal marriage, raise our children and buy a house. Now I see how fragile relationships are, and cheating can be so justifiable to some people like my ex-MW or put on the back burner like it never happened. I can't pretend to want any of that anymore.

 

Someday, I wonder if I will betray my values once again and the one I love or be on the receiving end of it from the other person.

 

I just feel like I'm so broken it's not even funny. I talked to a counselor for 4 weeks, and he wasn't saying anything the internet wasn't already telling me.

 

For once in my life, I wish I could be embraced by any stranger who would tell me, "It's alright. You'll be ok again. You are worth loving." Last night I danced with a stranger I met at a bar. She eventually had her arms around me the way any hormonal woman under the influence would do. It wasn't what I was looking for so I held her back the way I wanted it.

 

I came off desperate and transparent probably.

 

I fear my own self and see nothing sacred anymore. That's how it's changed me.

[sunshine6]

My break up with a MW is still so fresh in my mind. It's more painful and confusing than any relationships I've ended before. It twisted the way I view myself - the boundaries I would cross and the values I never thought I would forsake. It put me outside the limit of what I thought I was capable.

 

It also puts me at a distrust of future long term commitments. My dream was to have a normal marriage, raise our children and buy a house. Now I see how fragile relationships are, and cheating can be so justifiable to some people like my ex-MW or put on the back burner like it never happened. I can't pretend to want any of that anymore.

 

Someday, I wonder if I will betray my values once again and the one I love or be on the receiving end of it from the other person.

 

I just feel like I'm so broken it's not even funny. I talked to a counselor for 4 weeks, and he wasn't saying anything the internet wasn't already telling me.

 

For once in my life, I wish I could be embraced by any stranger who would tell me, "It's alright. You'll be ok again. You are worth loving." Last night I danced with a stranger I met at a bar. She eventually had her arms around me the way any hormonal woman under the influence would do. It wasn't what I was looking for so I held her back the way I wanted it.

 

I came off desperate and transparent probably.

 

I fear my own self and see nothing sacred anymore. That's how it's changed me.

 

You can't let it make negative assumptions about all relationships.

 

I think, if anything, it has made me realize that many people go through their relationships cut off from their spouse, blind, or emotionally numbed. I know now that I do not want to ignore the problems or deal through infidelity. Therefore, it has showed me the importance and necessity of treating my marriage like any other living thing that needs security, love, and nourishment to grow in a healthy way.

[lynn1954]

My break up with a MW is still so fresh in my mind. It's more painful and confusing than any relationships I've ended before. It twisted the way I view myself - the boundaries I would cross and the values I never thought I would forsake. It put me outside the limit of what I thought I was capable.

 

It also puts me at a distrust of future long term commitments. My dream was to have a normal marriage, raise our children and buy a house. Now I see how fragile relationships are, and cheating can be so justifiable to some people like my ex-MW or put on the back burner like it never happened. I can't pretend to want any of that anymore.

 

Someday, I wonder if I will betray my values once again and the one I love or be on the receiving end of it from the other person.

 

I just feel like I'm so broken it's not even funny. I talked to a counselor for 4 weeks, and he wasn't saying anything the internet wasn't already telling me.

 

For once in my life, I wish I could be embraced by any stranger who would tell me, "It's alright. You'll be ok again. You are worth loving." Last night I danced with a stranger I met at a bar. She eventually had her arms around me the way any hormonal woman under the influence would do. It wasn't what I was looking for so I held her back the way I wanted it.

 

I came off desperate and transparent probably.

 

I fear my own self and see nothing sacred anymore. That's how it's changed me.

 

ViresSanctity:

 

It's all right. You'll be okay again. You're worth loving. And I absolutely mean all of that, because it's true.

 

Everything that you said and everything that you're feeling: it's exactly the way that many men and women in your situation feel.

 

You made a mistake, and now you're feeling the effects of that mistake. That's okay, that's a good thing. Don't ignore your pain; admit it, handle it, and learn from it.

 

You can absolutely recover from this mistake, and you can return to being a "good" and "trustworthy" person, as well as viewing yourself as a "good" and "trustworthy" person, and viewing other people accurately as "good" or "trustworthy" if they truly are.

 

There is definitely true love and faithful love in the world and in marriages, including marriages of people who'd made previous mistakes like yours, or worse. You can find true love and faithful love. In fact, you might be more likely to find it because of your previous experience.

 

How old are you? I personally know friends and family members who had some hurtful romantic relationships or marriages in their youth or up through mid-life, sometimes their own fault/mistake or their SO/spouse fault/mistake. However, they found somebody else who they love, and loves them, and ended up in long-term "normal", genuinely happy marriages with a house/kids and no extramarital affairs.

Edited April 20, 2013 by lynn1954

[ViresSanctity]

ViresSanctity:

 

It's all right. You'll be okay again. You're worth loving. And I absolutely mean all of that, because it's true.

 

Everything that you said and everything that you're feeling: it's exactly the way that many men and women in your situation feel.

 

You made a mistake, and now you're feeling the effects of that mistake. That's okay, that's a good thing. Don't ignore your pain; admit it, handle it, and learn from it.

 

You can absolutely recover from this mistake, and you can return to being a "good" and "trustworthy" person, as well as viewing yourself as a "good" and "trustworthy" person, and viewing other people accurately as "good" or "trustworthy" if they truly are.

 

There is definitely true love and faithful love in the world and in marriages, including marriages of people who'd made previous mistakes like yours, or worse. You can find true love and faithful love. In fact, you might be more likely to find it because of your previous experience.

 

How old are you? I personally know friends and family members who had some hurtful romantic relationships or marriages in their youth or up through mid-life, sometimes their own fault/mistake or their SO/spouse fault/mistake. However, they found somebody else who they love, and loves them, and ended up in long-term "normal", genuinely happy marriages with a house/kids and no extramarital affairs.

 

I'd 5 like this if I could. This is very encouraging, thanks. See, I had difficulty trusting relationships before that since I've been around the high numbers of people cheating in college, including my girlfriend then.

 

What hurt me so much from this woman was when we were strictly friends at the beginning, she told me she wanted to show me that there are good, trustworthy and honorable people in this world. As friends, she taught me to trust again, and I had the deepest respect for her. Once it grew into an affair things got seriously twisted.

 

I guess I fall in the young category. I'm 26 years old so I still got a lot to look ahead of me. I'm looking forward to the day I meet that person. I still don't think I've been in that true love relationship yet.

[ViresSanctity]

Yep, there's a lot of emotions I recognise there.

 

I'm no longer nearly as judgemental of people who participate in affairs as I used to be. It is so easy, to so quickly fall for the wrong person. But I am afraid, that even good blokes, with good hearts, who are not unhappy in their marriages, can still cheat. That scares me. But maybe it will make me more empathetic, if I were to be in that position.

 

I don't know... It's still all very confusing...

 

I used to be pretty judgmental about people in affairs. Now I'll know to keep my mouth quiet about it.

 

And that is what worries me as well - when they are bored or unhappy, how far will their principles hold them back? And if they don't ever tell you, is it like a tree falling in a forest with no one around?

[ViresSanctity]

It's ok.

 

What happened to me in the end...is knowing I AM worth more. I thought my mistrust of people would get in my way, that I would never trust anyone again. I didn't even trust mm the whole affair, and my mistrust and rollercoater emotions were so out of whack. I was sure I was doomed in the future,

 

It instilled in me a firm belief on how I view cheating, what I deserve for myself, and that I will not accept less. What I want to be treated like in a relationship.

 

It has tainted me on married men, or men in a relationship period. I have zero compassion for them cheating.

 

I am ok. I'm not perfect, and I went through a very long very bad depression and problems with anxiety. Fortunately what helped me was someone that was already around, who knew what I went through and saw it all in the side lines. I know many aren't as lucky as I am to have someone be there and invest in them and tolerate the healing that has to go on, and still want to be there when it seems like craziness and insanity has reached it's peek. But I had someone hold my hand through it all...and he still does, even when we are sleeping. Is funny because I am not suspicious, or jealous. I am fine with him going out, doing his own thing..I know his morals and his dedication to me. I never thought I would be secure the way I am with someone.

 

The r I am in now may not be forever, it has issues in its own but nothing that involves betrayal or hurt. I do still have my own insecutities, but they are what I consider to be normal ones, insignificant ones, personal ones like having stretch marks.

 

I have to say, in some small way, it makes you stronger, more resolved. I may have gone through a lot more of my life thinking I wanted less out of it if I had not been through the destruction of my A. It's wierd but I am a stronger person for it,.

 

You are very lucky. I'm so glad that you had someone around for you.

 

I've been thinking a lot about the person my ex-GF (before affair) was like and how peaceful it was. We had a normal relationship, and like you I was never jealous or worried with her. She treated me so well, and took care of me. I still left in the end because I couldn't fall in love with her. Now I daydream about having her around and being in that peaceful normal relationship. I think that makes me selfish, but It's just a fantasy anyway. This affair made me appreciate having a normal relationship a lot more.

 

See I craved that high somewhere. That was what the affair of being the OM brought me. Now after being through it, I can say it was almost necessary for me so I can open my eyes and know I don't want that high anymore.

[lynn1954]

You are very lucky. I'm so glad that you had someone around for you.

 

I've been thinking a lot about the person my ex-GF (before affair) was like and how peaceful it was. We had a normal relationship, and like you I was never jealous or worried with her. She treated me so well, and took care of me. I still left in the end because I couldn't fall in love with her. Now I daydream about having her around and being in that peaceful normal relationship. I think that makes me selfish, but It's just a fantasy anyway. This affair made me appreciate having a normal relationship a lot more.

 

See I craved that high somewhere. That was what the affair of being the OM brought me. Now after being through it, I can say it was almost necessary for me so I can open my eyes and know I don't want that high anymore.

 

You seem intellectually smart AND emotionally mature AND kind and compassionate.

 

You're going to find a fabulous relationship!

 

Stay positive, stay kind and compassionate, and get back to thinking of yourself as a good, trustworthy person. Use your conscience to guide your future choices, and soon you'll be stable again.

[Leo the Homely Lion]

I won't post the DOOZY of a very recent update on my situation, beyond this: my special person left the other day, sending me three texts of nonsense until her "good bye," and I believe the silence ever since will endure, forever. And she did this within hours of my asking for a good rest of the week, for no fighting, because I'm now caring for my loving, dying parent and our fights just bring me down. Oddly, the pain I felt at her very recent revelation that she'd *used me* from the *day one* (almost five years ago) has transformed, uncoaxed, into a feeling of relief. Not being tormented feels good. Who knew? :0 I mean, my big inaugural Valentine's Day post? Where I bemoaned her telling me on that day that she'd been dating/sleeping with another man (with the same first name as me, no less)? Turns out she was just being "sarcastic," she said. But, both versions, equally believable, and who really knows? So, yeah, relief now. From what can only be her hatred. Her conduct is too cruel to be anything but. Crazy, hateful games. Yet such games, until now, that were interlarded with her sweetness and musings about our future together with each other. I'm a smart dude, but she just kicks my ass. And now I find out that she *used me* for almost five years. Or wants me to believe that she only used me for five years. I think the latter's worse.

 

But you ask how this breakup changes my view on relationships.

 

It doesn't. Not a smidge.

 

My relationship, un-uniquely, was unique. And it would be stupid of me to project what happened in my relationship onto other people's relationships or even onto relationships I may have in the future, if I ever do leave my marriage.

 

The very question you ask embodies part of what bugs me most about this board. We see it over and over. Essentially, "Because X, Y, and Z happened to me, that means that A, B, and C are true about others."

 

I swear it's the same dynamic that fuels racist thought. Except that the bogusness here doesn't relate to skin color, but projected character traits. Often emotional, opinion-only "truisms" foisted onto other posters -- not to really advise, but to make the foister feel good, either as a venting or as above it all and with all the answers.

 

Then there are these bon mots: "MM who cheat are always charming." Yo, got a link? I mean, most MM possess charm -- or they wouldn't be MM. Why would anyone post such a demonstrably asinine thing under the guise of helping others? They wouldn't. Because they aren't trying to help others, by such statements. Something else's afoot.

 

Or, basically, "MM who cheat are narcissistic because they have low self esteem and need to be continually validated because these narcissists don't believe they're superior." (That's worthy of a rapid series of head shakes.)

 

As if a charming, faithful MM couldn't ever -- in the history of all the MM on the planet -- fall in genuine, uncompartmentalized love with a special person. Not because of some boogeyman "fog" unique to affairs (give me a break.) Not because he wanted to be "validated." (a psychological term of art overused by amateurs.) But because of the super great qualities he genuinely saw in *her*.

 

And when time, circumstances, events, and an endless series of insecurity-driven provocations made leaving the marriage for her impracticable, no MM on earth could EVER then decide it's not dishonest to not tell somebody something he honestly believes they wouldn't want to know. But see, because some think *they* would want to know, you project that to *my* relationship.

 

Some here will say I was not in real, total love. That takes some arrogantly moralizing, almost cartoonish, nerve. I was there, man. You only know of it because of the pixels I send to your computer screen, wherever you are, in a few thumbnail sketches, which you don't read fairly because you have an agenda -- either to axegrind, or, guru-like, to wax superior about "narcissists."

 

Some will say I must tell my wife. You don't know her at all. I do. And yet you would snidely judge me? Based on what? Well I know that answer. But upon what do you base your own perceived superiority from afar to, not advise on, but to judge, the relationships in my life? And come to such firm conclusions about *me*? People here would do well to entertain some doubt about saying things about other things they know they cannot be certain about.

 

Some people here think they're dispensing this oh so great advice to posters, usually eye-rolling advice, but they're more often revealing their own baggage, or exposing their need to seem superior, than anything else. And then they throw that baggage of theirs, that superiority complex of theirs, onto some poor poster coming here for help.

 

What I'm saying is, the breakup didn't change my view on relationships -- and I don't believe it should change yours. Take relationships case by case. The world would be a better place if people resisted these blanket "ism's".

 

I'll check in a bit, but think I'm done. Btw, I can receive private messages now. Because I got three. All from the mods. Rules violations. Too lippy, I think. Nothing intentional! I'm sorry. Live and learn.

[TheOW]

I won't post the DOOZY of a very recent update on my situation, beyond this: my special person left the other day, sending me three texts of nonsense until her "good bye," and I believe the silence ever since will endure, forever. And she did this within hours of my asking for a good rest of the week, for no fighting, because I'm now caring for my loving, dying parent and our fights just bring me down. Oddly, the pain I felt at her very recent revelation that she'd *used me* from the *day one* (almost five years ago) has transformed, uncoaxed, into a feeling of relief. Not being tormented feels good. Who knew? :0 I mean, my big inaugural Valentine's Day post? Where I bemoaned her telling me on that day that she'd been dating/sleeping with another man (with the same first name as me, no less)? Turns out she was just being "sarcastic," she said. But, both versions, equally believable, and who really knows? So, yeah, relief now. From what can only be her hatred. Her conduct is too cruel to be anything but. Crazy, hateful games. Yet such games, until now, that were interlarded with her sweetness and musings about our future together with each other. I'm a smart dude, but she just kicks my ass. And now I find out that she *used me* for almost five years. Or wants me to believe that she only used me for five years. I think the latter's worse.

 

But you ask how this breakup changes my view on relationships.

 

It doesn't. Not a smidge.

 

My relationship, un-uniquely, was unique. And it would be stupid of me to project what happened in my relationship onto other people's relationships or even onto relationships I may have in the future, if I ever do leave my marriage.

 

The very question you ask embodies part of what bugs me most about this board. We see it over and over. Essentially, "Because X, Y, and Z happened to me, that means that A, B, and C are true about others."

 

I swear it's the same dynamic that fuels racist thought. Except that the bogusness here doesn't relate to skin color, but projected character traits. Often emotional, opinion-only "truisms" foisted onto other posters -- not to really advise, but to make the foister feel good, either as a venting or as above it all and with all the answers.

 

Then there are these bon mots: "MM who cheat are always charming." Yo, got a link? I mean, most MM possess charm -- or they wouldn't be MM. Why would anyone post such a demonstrably asinine thing under the guise of helping others? They wouldn't. Because they aren't trying to help others, by such statements. Something else's afoot.

 

Or, basically, "MM who cheat are narcissistic because they have low self esteem and need to be continually validated because these narcissists don't believe they're superior." (That's worthy of a rapid series of head shakes.)

 

As if a charming, faithful MM couldn't ever -- in the history of all the MM on the planet -- fall in genuine, uncompartmentalized love with a special person. Not because of some boogeyman "fog" unique to affairs (give me a break.) Not because he wanted to be "validated." (a psychological term of art overused by amateurs.) But because of the super great qualities he genuinely saw in *her*.

 

And when time, circumstances, events, and an endless series of insecurity-driven provocations made leaving the marriage for her impracticable, no MM on earth could EVER then decide it's not dishonest to not tell somebody something he honestly believes they wouldn't want to know. But see, because some think *they* would want to know, you project that to *my* relationship.

 

Some here will say I was not in real, total love. That takes some arrogantly moralizing, almost cartoonish, nerve. I was there, man. You only know of it because of the pixels I send to your computer screen, wherever you are, in a few thumbnail sketches, which you don't read fairly because you have an agenda -- either to axegrind, or, guru-like, to wax superior about "narcissists."

 

Some will say I must tell my wife. You don't know her at all. I do. And yet you would snidely judge me? Based on what? Well I know that answer. But upon what do you base your own perceived superiority from afar to, not advise on, but to judge, the relationships in my life? And come to such firm conclusions about *me*? People here would do well to entertain some doubt about saying things about other things they know they cannot be certain about.

 

Some people here think they're dispensing this oh so great advice to posters, usually eye-rolling advice, but they're more often revealing their own baggage, or exposing their need to seem superior, than anything else. And then they throw that baggage of theirs, that superiority complex of theirs, onto some poor poster coming here for help.

 

What I'm saying is, the breakup didn't change my view on relationships -- and I don't believe it should change yours. Take relationships case by case. The world would be a better place if people resisted these blanket "ism's".

 

I'll check in a bit, but think I'm done. Btw, I can receive private messages now. Because I got three. All from the mods. Rules violations. Too lippy, I think. Nothing intentional! I'm sorry. Live and learn.

 

 

LOVE this

 

Dont go

[WakingUp]

Leo... wow.

 

Fantastic.

 

I want to hear more.

 

What an articulate, intelligent and well thought out point of view.

 

And... we need more of that here.

[Leo the Homely Lion]

Leo... wow.

 

Fantastic.

 

I want to hear more.

 

What an articulate, intelligent and well thought out point of view.

 

And... we need more of that here.

 

Thanks.

 

I don't think my private messages work. I'm not a moron, I swear. But all I've received is three from the mods for my lippiness. So if anyone has mssgd me, I'm not being rude not responding. I just can't figure it out. But I'm not a moron. Usually.

[TheOW]

Dont worry about it most of us OW/OM aka the gutter rats receive them daily - mass reporting of us for some reason.

[TheOW]

Us bs get it too.

 

I've been on mod three times now and Ive only been here a few months lol

 

 

Haha me too, Why cant people just accept the different points of view without reporting ? I see the point when ugly names are being thrown around but its mostly its debating from both sides.

[anne1707]

Haha me too, Why cant people just accept the different points of view without reporting ? I see the point when ugly names are being thrown around but its mostly its debating from both sides.

 

If it's just a different point of view then just because it gets reported, that won't get an infraction. It's the name-calling, bullying, attacking stuff on LS that gets the infractions which is fair enough.

[TheOW]

If it's just a different point of view then just because it gets reported, that won't get an infraction. It's the name-calling, bullying, attacking stuff on LS that gets the infractions which is fair enough.

 

I havent called anyone names and still be reported, well i did call Sweetie a nutjob (sorry sweetie bad day) so yeah I shoulda got a ticking off for that one but the others ?? I didnt see what was wrong with them maybe its a country thing ie folks from America think im saying something different to what i am and vice versa.

[ViresSanctity]

I won't post the DOOZY of a very recent update on my situation, beyond this: my special person left the other day, sending me three texts of nonsense until her "good bye," and I believe the silence ever since will endure, forever. And she did this within hours of my asking for a good rest of the week, for no fighting, because I'm now caring for my loving, dying parent and our fights just bring me down. Oddly, the pain I felt at her very recent revelation that she'd *used me* from the *day one* (almost five years ago) has transformed, uncoaxed, into a feeling of relief. Not being tormented feels good. Who knew? :0 I mean, my big inaugural Valentine's Day post? Where I bemoaned her telling me on that day that she'd been dating/sleeping with another man (with the same first name as me, no less)? Turns out she was just being "sarcastic," she said. But, both versions, equally believable, and who really knows? So, yeah, relief now. From what can only be her hatred. Her conduct is too cruel to be anything but. Crazy, hateful games. Yet such games, until now, that were interlarded with her sweetness and musings about our future together with each other. I'm a smart dude, but she just kicks my ass. And now I find out that she *used me* for almost five years. Or wants me to believe that she only used me for five years. I think the latter's worse.

 

But you ask how this breakup changes my view on relationships.

 

It doesn't. Not a smidge.

 

My relationship, un-uniquely, was unique. And it would be stupid of me to project what happened in my relationship onto other people's relationships or even onto relationships I may have in the future, if I ever do leave my marriage.

 

The very question you ask embodies part of what bugs me most about this board. We see it over and over. Essentially, "Because X, Y, and Z happened to me, that means that A, B, and C are true about others."

 

I swear it's the same dynamic that fuels racist thought. Except that the bogusness here doesn't relate to skin color, but projected character traits. Often emotional, opinion-only "truisms" foisted onto other posters -- not to really advise, but to make the foister feel good, either as a venting or as above it all and with all the answers.

 

Then there are these bon mots: "MM who cheat are always charming." Yo, got a link? I mean, most MM possess charm -- or they wouldn't be MM. Why would anyone post such a demonstrably asinine thing under the guise of helping others? They wouldn't. Because they aren't trying to help others, by such statements. Something else's afoot.

 

Or, basically, "MM who cheat are narcissistic because they have low self esteem and need to be continually validated because these narcissists don't believe they're superior." (That's worthy of a rapid series of head shakes.)

 

As if a charming, faithful MM couldn't ever -- in the history of all the MM on the planet -- fall in genuine, uncompartmentalized love with a special person. Not because of some boogeyman "fog" unique to affairs (give me a break.) Not because he wanted to be "validated." (a psychological term of art overused by amateurs.) But because of the super great qualities he genuinely saw in *her*.

 

And when time, circumstances, events, and an endless series of insecurity-driven provocations made leaving the marriage for her impracticable, no MM on earth could EVER then decide it's not dishonest to not tell somebody something he honestly believes they wouldn't want to know. But see, because some think *they* would want to know, you project that to *my* relationship.

 

Some here will say I was not in real, total love. That takes some arrogantly moralizing, almost cartoonish, nerve. I was there, man. You only know of it because of the pixels I send to your computer screen, wherever you are, in a few thumbnail sketches, which you don't read fairly because you have an agenda -- either to axegrind, or, guru-like, to wax superior about "narcissists."

 

Some will say I must tell my wife. You don't know her at all. I do. And yet you would snidely judge me? Based on what? Well I know that answer. But upon what do you base your own perceived superiority from afar to, not advise on, but to judge, the relationships in my life? And come to such firm conclusions about *me*? People here would do well to entertain some doubt about saying things about other things they know they cannot be certain about.

 

Some people here think they're dispensing this oh so great advice to posters, usually eye-rolling advice, but they're more often revealing their own baggage, or exposing their need to seem superior, than anything else. And then they throw that baggage of theirs, that superiority complex of theirs, onto some poor poster coming here for help.

 

What I'm saying is, the breakup didn't change my view on relationships -- and I don't believe it should change yours. Take relationships case by case. The world would be a better place if people resisted these blanket "ism's".

 

I'll check in a bit, but think I'm done. Btw, I can receive private messages now. Because I got three. All from the mods. Rules violations. Too lippy, I think. Nothing intentional! I'm sorry. Live and learn.

 

Thanks for sharing your opinion. I definitely thought about the racist part. I can't say I entirely agree or disagree. Our thoughts are our own and as long as we don't use it to impose it on or harm others, we are free to think what we want. That said, racist assumptions or thoughts leading up to it are pretty normal.

 

I feel like most of your post wasn't directed to me here however. Can't we come to our own conclusions, own it and share it (take it as you please) as we please without being malicious with one another? We are all anonymous here. The chances of anyone here and me meeting in real life are very small.

Edited April 21, 2013 by ViresSanctity

[ViresSanctity]

Dont worry about it most of us OW/OM aka the gutter rats receive them daily - mass reporting of us for some reason.

 

I guess we all have a different experience. Most of the posters here have been supportive and I haven't received any reports. What are some of the reasons you think they reported you for?