gal90 Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 My ex recently ended our relationship (of about 1 year) and is now dating someone new after only about 2 weeks. I'm assuming this is why he ended it and that they had been talking while we were still together. I was 100 percent serious about this relationship, I thought he was the guy I was going to marry. Now I realize he isn't exactly the guy I thought he was. The thing is, I bought a ticket to go on a big vacation together with his family, and now I'm in the process of cancelling my ticket. His family had been planning this trip for a while, even before I was in the picture. As soon as they knew we were serious, they didn't hesitate at all before inviting me along. I had a really good relationship with his family and now that I'm cancelling my ticket I feel like I should reach out to them and explain myself, thank them, and maybe even express that it was my ex, not me, who ended things. Any suggestions?
TaraMaiden Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 I personally consider it to be distantly polite and acceptable to merely write them a brief note, saying "Thank you very much for this; however, it is no longer appropriate for me to consider this trip, as 'X' broke up with me *number* days ago, and as I believe he HAS a new GF, it wouldn't be right for me to still consider this trip viable. Thank you so much once again, *name*. " And leave it like that. Do not reply to further communications, and stay No Contact with your ex- 100%. (see my signature/link). 1
Author gal90 Posted April 20, 2013 Author Posted April 20, 2013 This was my idea. Maybe it's just one of those things I need to write and not send, but I keep thinking it might be the polite thing to do. I know the second paragraph isn't exactly necessary, but it would make me feel better for them to know. My ex doesn't exactly have the best record with girls, I think his family liked that I had my life together compared to his other exes. Here's the letter: Hi *his mom*, this is *my name*. I hope you are doing well! I'm sure you know by now that *my ex* and I are no longer together, but I thought of you and *my ex's dad* because I am in the process of canceling my ticket; I really wanted to thank you guys for including me in the trip, and I wanted you to know how much I appreciated you welcoming me into your family for the time *my ex* and I were together. You have a beautiful family, and I was so lucky to be able to experience that. I know you will all have so much fun in on your vacation. I also really wanted you guys to know how much I cared about *my ex*. I loved him and honestly just wanted some more time with him to give us a chance. But once he decided that he had moved on, there wasn't much I could do to change his mind. I know I wasn’t in his life for very long but it was serious for me, if that means anything to you guys. Again, thank you for everything. I know *my ex* has moved on and I don’t want to interfere in his life, so unless you feel it’s necessary, I don’t think he needs to know that I contacted you.
iouaname Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Honestly, I would get rid of the last two paragraphs and just leave the first one and then a simple "Take care, X" The first paragraph is considerate and a nice gesture, while the other two are a little too involved... but that's just me! 4
ThatJustHappened Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Honestly, I would get rid of the last two paragraphs and just leave the first one and then a simple "Take care, X" The first paragraph is considerate and a nice gesture, while the other two are a little too involved... but that's just me! Totally agree. The last two paragraphs sound like you're hoping his mommy will scold him and make him break up with the new girl and take you back. Sorry for your pain OP..it does get better.
cavalier99 Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Dont send anything. You wrote it..now just delete it..and cancel ticket. Silence says it all. They know you arnt going. Why reach out and suffer thru more pain. He broke your heart And left it in pieces and is with someone else. Enough said. Cav
SharkTooth Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 The parents know everything and all parents will have their child's back, regardless of what happened. No one ever really mentions them in there posts of BU's but if you think about it, they are all there. Some watching from a distance, others being right in the middle of it. I don't think it's necessary. It is the collateral damage that comes along with the BU. But if you decide to send a note, I like the one first paragraph gal90 sent. It's thoughtful, kind, and considerate
Weathergirl Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 I agree, the first paragraph is sufficient, polite and to the point. 1
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