AnotherRound Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I am actually REALLY surprised to read that so many of you don't or have never checked your APs social media! Does this mean you actively use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and don't ever check your APs page? Wow, I'm impressed. Also I must be a super weakling because I checked social media all the time with xMM. When we were "friends", I liked seeing the pics of what he was doing (example-we were chatting a day he was out fishing, and later I could see the pics of their catches & how sunburned he said they'd gotten) Post DDay (not friends anymore), I did still try to look but the few new things I saw, definitely stung (his birthday, holidays, looking happy with W). I just tried to remind myself that if someone was looking at my page, it would be the same. They wouldn't know all the inner turmoil and depression I was internalizing in the months after my A ended. On my end, I actually changed a couple of my fb pics to public view, thinking maybe he'd want to look some day. I did find out later that he'd been pulling my page up quite often during our 4 months of NC. I really don't look! I have all the accounts and am pretty active on them - I just don't have any desire - I really am not sure why? I guess bc we didn't have a turmoil filled break up maybe? And, are still friends -so??? I also found out that exMM often looks at my FB - what he can see of it as we are not friends. He has an account for his business, not a personal account, but we have never been friends on it. I guess there was no need since we were talking every single day maybe? But, he recently said something to me, and it was something I posted on FB that I hadn't told him and I busted him, lol. He was a bit embarrassed, but I guess I was just surprised bc I just don't look at his at all. Also, I hate that sometimes I miss something and it gets posted as public and not private... ugh! And, that you can't make your banner pics private... 1
Lillyfree Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 i have to say, i've looked a few times on the forum he posts on. nothing exciting, and just made me feel down. i haven't done it in weeks.... months. the chatroom we met in, i haven't visited even before it was over. i still log onto the channel as there are people il wish to speak to. i know he's permanently logged on and i know he will see if i've visited. so i stay away. i do get curious sometimes.... but i don't look anymore. it's none of my business and it will make no difference to me.
thefooloftheyear Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Not sure what this means? But I got rid of fb a long time ago. His bs uses it to portray something that isn't real and most people do - its narcissistic - anyway, nope - I can't and won't look. That knowledge of what they are or aren't doing doesn't change what is right now. It only serves to hurt me so it doesn't really matter what they post - if I don't see it I can't be hurt so I won't subject myself to that any longer. It's masochistic. It was a bit of tongue n cheek..... Seems like many women are ADDICTED to FB. Yes there are men who are also FB nuts, but it seems like more of a woman thing. Status update... "Heading to the grocery store" Really? Who the eff cares!!! TFOY 6
AnotherRound Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 It was a bit of tongue n cheek..... Seems like many women are ADDICTED to FB. Yes there are men who are also FB nuts, but it seems like more of a woman thing. Status update... "Heading to the grocery store" Really? Who the eff cares!!! TFOY I admit - I'm guilty of this! lol I check it several times a day. However, I will say in my own defense, I have zero kin in my state or any states touching it - so, FB is my way of keeping up with my family. So, I love to read updates from say, my sister, about her day - since I don't live near her, and can't just drop in to visit it - it does make me feel more connected with her every day life. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure that I have the cutest niece that ever existed, so updates about her are an addiction for me!!! 1
So happy together Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I don't know what that means. If it has to do with Face Book, I despise that POS. I am learning to use Twitter however and last night I got the first follower of national renown because I have been Tweeting two petitions I hope to get enough signatures on to send to the President and I have written on the Daily KOS and other places about a story that could be a national sensation. I won't say who is following me, just that he's a US Senator from a Midwestern state. I plan to keep up the campaign now that I've got the attention of somebody who can do something to change the debate about a certain issue that affects us all. I'm excited as can be that my Tweets are going to this dude's world. And maybe this week I will start being followed by other media folks who might want to make this a story. The petition route takes too long and too much is at stake. That's why I hope Twitter gets me to a serious journalist might see it my way. This Senator sure didn't have to follow me. Let's go me. Yoko Ono follows me. I've no idea why, I certainly don't follow her. I am a big Beatle's fan, but really? Yoko Ono? Eeeek. 1
So happy together Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 My boyfriend has a fb page, but we are not friends and I never check it. I did find out last Valentine's day that his adult daughter stalks mine constantly and saw a post about the orchids he'd sent me,etc. She called and freaked out at him for not sending anything to his stbxw (they'd been separated a couple of months). I thought it odd that she was looking at my fb all the time, and took it private. I also blocked her. I also found it incredibly odd that she'd call and yell at her father for not sending anything on V-day to his ex. He did send a card to his daughter, and that made her angry too, that I'd received 'more' than she had. I try to stay away from all of that stuff where they are concerned. My fb is a tool for me to stay in contact with friends and family. I don't have 750 friends. I just have those I know IRL and we use it to plan events, etc. I do wonder though, if his stbxw had a fb, if I would look at it. It would be tempting. She's been telling people we've been involved in an affair for 10 years (it's been 18 months, and was a first affair for both of us). She also told people that my two youngest kids are his (they're not). So, it would maybe be helpful to me to understand her mindset. But I would probably become obsessed, so it's better she doesn't have one. Lol 1
thefooloftheyear Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I admit - I'm guilty of this! lol I check it several times a day. However, I will say in my own defense, I have zero kin in my state or any states touching it - so, FB is my way of keeping up with my family. So, I love to read updates from say, my sister, about her day - since I don't live near her, and can't just drop in to visit it - it does make me feel more connected with her every day life. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure that I have the cutest niece that ever existed, so updates about her are an addiction for me!!! All kiddiing aside...Just like anything else, its fine in moderation. I just hate when people post constantly such stupid, nonsensical items that no one(not even them) should waste any time thinking about let alone wondering if the whole world cares that they posted it. 1,000 friends? Gandhi didnt have a thousand friends.. Ridiculous... 1
DelusionalOne Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I do have a FB page. I have a whopping 24 "friends". All family and, OMG, actual IRL friends! My FB page is completely blocked from searching, even people who post on my page, the posts can't be seen by anyone else unless I allow it. App posts can only be seen by me. All my pix are blocked to be seen only by who I want them to be seen by. Creating groups is a great thing... you can customize everything. Seems like a lot of work, but my FB page is a tool for me to keep up with family & friends. That's it. (oh and I am addicted to that FV2 game.... ) 1
cocorico Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 So how often do you check your AP or Ap's BS's social media? Any and every site...What do you look at? How long has it been? And why do you do it? During the A, my fAP and I listed each other as "being in a R with..." on FB, so were in each other's friend feed all the time, so no need to check each other's page. It was the only social medium he was on (still is...) though I had others, and I know he checked at least some of the, regularly because he'd post comments or reference them in emails. The BS did not use social media at all until very recently. She started a FB profile, tried to friend up some of my friends (my profile and my fAP's profile are both private) and then gave up and killed her FB profile after I blocked her. She does still stalk me on other social media sites though - I don't think she realises that those ones tell you who's been viewing your profile, or who is following you - even though it is several years since he left her. I have no interest in checking her profile. 1
FightClub Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 During the A, my fAP and I listed each other as "being in a R with..." on FB, so were in each other's friend feed all the time, so no need to check each other's page. It was the only social medium he was on (still is...) though I had others, and I know he checked at least some of the, regularly because he'd post comments or reference them in emails. The BS did not use social media at all until very recently. She started a FB profile, tried to friend up some of my friends (my profile and my fAP's profile are both private) and then gave up and killed her FB profile after I blocked her. She does still stalk me on other social media sites though - I don't think she realises that those ones tell you who's been viewing your profile, or who is following you - even though it is several years since he left her. I have no interest in checking her profile. I'm curious, what functions on Facebook and other social media sites are you able to 'view' who's stalking you? I deleted all my social media sites shortly after the affair with exMW ended but I always thought that was based on privacy issues, right? -FC
MissBee Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 So how often do you check your AP or Ap's BS's social media? Any and every site...What do you look at? How long has it been? And why do you do it? When I was in the A he wasn't on social media sites, thankfully, so there was nothing for me to check. This was truly a blessing! As with other exes, I have been tempted and succumbed.Our NC was very clean...as I didn't not speak to him but still engaged in his life by stalking his social media pages etc. It was truly NC. I certainly didn't know his SO's social media pages either. It was actually a year or so ago, long after the A, that I came across her FB page and it was the first I ever got to see her and what she looked like etc. However, I was out of the A then and didn't care and they are also no longer together, which I first gathered from her page, before he told me, as she had pics with her new man.
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