targaryen Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 As you might know my ex left me 2.5 months ago, after 4 years...reason being that she felt we were too young to be in such a long term relationship... Unfortunately she has a blog which I'm trying very hard to stop checking...after 12 days of going cold turkey and not checking, I was so close to breaking down and contacting her after 2 months of NC that I thought it would be better to check her blog instead...what I found was that during those twelve days she posted "I still miss him...should this be taking so long? I can't get over him" What does it mean? I feel like i have a brief window during which I can get her back....that if I simply reach out and let her know I'm missing her too, she won't pull back...I'm thinking she's afraid of reaching out because I've been NC so long and she figures I will ignore her or reject her.. I've known her for years and she's not the kind of person who would take that risk...but I am! What do you think? Should I get in touch with her and try and repair everything? She is still blocking me on Facebook and not getting in touch herself. I really want to reach out because of what I saw on the blog, but I am really afraid that if I reach out there's a high chance that she'll ignore it herself ...what if we both are having this dilemma and nobody is making the first move? Wouldn't that be a shame? If I wait even another week it might be too late
thefooloftheyear Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 As you might know my ex left me 2.5 months ago, after 4 years...reason being that she felt we were too young to be in such a long term relationship... Unfortunately she has a blog which I'm trying very hard to stop checking...after 12 days of going cold turkey and not checking, I was so close to breaking down and contacting her after 2 months of NC that I thought it would be better to check her blog instead...what I found was that during those twelve days she posted "I still miss him...should this be taking so long? I can't get over him" What does it mean? I feel like i have a brief window during which I can get her back....that if I simply reach out and let her know I'm missing her too, she won't pull back...I'm thinking she's afraid of reaching out because I've been NC so long and she figures I will ignore her or reject her.. I've known her for years and she's not the kind of person who would take that risk...but I am! What do you think? Should I get in touch with her and try and repair everything? She is still blocking me on Facebook and not getting in touch herself. I really want to reach out because of what I saw on the blog, but I am really afraid that if I reach out there's a high chance that she'll ignore it herself ...what if we both are having this dilemma and nobody is making the first move? Wouldn't that be a shame? If I wait even another week it might be too late Answer is no one knows but her,...Frankly she might not even know. The reality is that she might be wanting to get over it. In which case you would only be rejected. I wish you well...sorry I dont have a better answer for you.. TFOY
TaserTag Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Reading over your previous posts, I'm not sure I'd trust her blog declaration as a sign of really wanting to get back together. She didn't seem to break up with you lightly (gave it a lot of time and thought) and the reasons she broke up with you haven't been resolved (as only time and more experience will make her feel better about settling down). You haven't really been apart for very long yet. I'd worry about getting back with her while she's lonely and then having her decide that she still isn't ready to settle down. That's something you'd still have to work through if you got back together. Also, the fact that she blocked you on facebook and changed her blog address makes it seem like she didn't mean for that message to reach you and encourage you. You could try to contact her, but I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't want to talk to you or get back together. If you contact her and she doesn't want to talk to you, then at least you'll know where you stand and be able to stop holding out hope for the relationship. 1
Weathergirl Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Be careful, two months NC is no easy ride, I'm sure you have had ups and downs, is it worth risking it all to contact her, and possibly not get the reaction or reply you were looking for? I don't know your history with this girl, but proceed with caution. I've fallen at this hurdle before, thinking I read the signs right, and ended up even more hurt and upset than when I started. Whatever you decide I wish you well.
Author targaryen Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 Hi everyone, sorry I posted this here and then kind of just left the thread. I found that keeping myself busy in the real world and off sites like LS help me feel better even though I've found this site to be extremely helpful. To be honest, I was feeling really bad last weekend and was 2 seconds away from contacting her, which is why i checked the blog instead. 9/10 weeks of NC haven't always been easy and I don't want to ruin what I've achieved - i.e she is missing me probably because of NC. Doesn't mean she wants me back though..she's asking herself how long will it be to be over the relationship? Since it was a long one I guess even a 'dumper' can take some time to finally be over it...so yeah..I've been worse since I checked the blog, and I've been writing texts and emails to her and being on the verge of sending them for a while...but I haven't, even in my darkest moments crying at 3am alone ...because I know that there is no hope..and that's what's killing me. deep down I know she wouldn't respond...and even if she did, getting back together succesfully would be impossible to pull off since the core reason she left remains the same edit - I've been on NC to heal and feel better, not to get her back ... but as i said in another post, it's not really working. Early after the break up I was told that around this time - almost 3 months in - I'd start having long periods of time where I don't even think about her and I wouldn't even realise. But she's on top of mind, always. :/
LumberJack Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Early after the break up I was told that around this time - almost 3 months in - I'd start having long periods of time where I don't even think about her and I wouldn't even realise. But she's on top of mind, always. :/ We're all different. Our toughts and our hearts move on when we're ready. If it's of any consolation, I'm approaching the one year mark now and I still think about her often. Don't beat yourself up over it. It's going to take as long as it takes. I've seen posts on here by people who are still obsessing about their exes after four or five years. Just keep moving forward and know that it will pass. It gets a bit worst and then it gets *alot* better. Trust me.
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