ChelleBelle08 Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 So i just got dumped on thursday night, i have not talked to him since which isn't very long. He kept going back and forth talking about needing time to think, just wanting a break, he still loves me but can't fight anymore, to wants to see me next week, still loves me, etc. This left me very confused on where we stand. Im fine with the time off and giving it to him as i need the time myself. However, today i logged on facebook and it states he is now friends with his ex girlfriend (who cheated on him) a day after we broke up. He began talking to her on twitter a few weeks ago and i asked him about it, he said he just said happy birthday and that it got awkward and that he doesn't really talk to her. Now all of a sudden he's single and became friends with her on Facebook causing me to freak out and want to contact him. I feel like i just got punched in the stomach. He's always made comments about me still talking to my exes...is it just to make me jealous or do i have cause for concern? Please help me feel better so i don't freak out and contact him before i should!!
thefooloftheyear Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Sorry for your pain... Facebook is a KILLER...STAY OFF FACEBOOK!! Sounds like he obvioously is looking for a redo with the ex... If he dumped you then you have to move on with your life and dont worry about the reasons why. It wont help anything and just cause you further pain and suffering... I know its probably not what you want to hear, but... Be strong and put yourself first... TFOY
Dragi3169 Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Unfriend him and Block him from Facebook! It's obvious he wants to get back with his ex and he's stringing you along as his back up incase it doesn't work out with his ex. You don't need somebody like that in your life . You deserve so much better so dont settle with this Jackass . It's gonna be hard at first but you got to move on if only for your own good
TaraMaiden Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 You got dumped for good - so you need to implement No Contact. Please read the link in my signature, and read it carefully. It's a life-saver. many, many people on here will vouch for that. It 100% works, 100% of the time, providing you implement it - 100%. It's just the first post - but the remainder of the thread is the pitfalls of not doing it right..... Delete every possible which way you have of checking on him - or he, on you. That means blocking his phone number, sending all emails to the trash, and never, ever checking up on him. Life without him, begins here - which means you're free to breathe again.
Author ChelleBelle08 Posted April 20, 2013 Author Posted April 20, 2013 ive been through many many breakups. I don't feel like this is over. I feel like we are both just taking time and planned to talk next week. ive been through so many breakups its ridiculous, and i still haven't talked to most of them because i know its OVER. this time, not so much.
TaraMaiden Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 So... you say you got dumped Thursday, you haven't spoken since, he's been on FB, given his status as 'single' and is in touch with his ex.... and you don't feel this is over?? if this were me, he would be so far kicked to the kerb, he wouldn't know what smacked him.....!! What will it take for you to accept it's over, or act like you're in complete agreement? Why the prevarication? And how many more times? how much time will you waste before you get sick and tired of feeling like this?
ThatJustHappened Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 You should do what I did and quit Facebook. Facebook is evil!!!
Author ChelleBelle08 Posted April 20, 2013 Author Posted April 20, 2013 i did block him, but felt immature so i stopped. we've been fighting alot due to his job. I feel like we just needed time to cool off. That and he's been having trouble due to me not being able to express my feelings to him (ive been through a lot in the past, im pretty closed up). Boy has this been a wake up call for me. He gets angry at me for talking to my exes, so i didn't want to assume the worst but im a girl, thats what i do. thats why im here.
thefooloftheyear Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 i did block him, but felt immature so i stopped. we've been fighting alot due to his job. I feel like we just needed time to cool off. That and he's been having trouble due to me not being able to express my feelings to him (ive been through a lot in the past, im pretty closed up). Boy has this been a wake up call for me. He gets angry at me for talking to my exes, so i didn't want to assume the worst but im a girl, thats what i do. thats why im here. Lets put it this way.... People that truly care for one another and love one another do not call off the R because they need time or space. Thats a crock of crap. They draw STRENGTH from one another during hard times. I cant believe people actually buy into that shyt. Its just a boilerplate excuse for gettig out...Plain and simple... TFOY 2
iouaname Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 ChelleBelle, I went through a lot of the same things with my ex. He made it seem like it would not be permanent and like he just needed some time and space to figure things out. What he was actually doing was easing his way out of the relationship. This was awful for me because he kept sending me mixed messages, which made it hard for me to move on. Fast forward to a few months when he tells me that there is definitely no future for us and that he had closed the door on this relationship - and then I felt put back to square one. I still feel somewhat pushed back to square one. I would take the advice given to you that you need to go - and stay - no contact, and force yourself to accept that it's over and that you have to move on. I'm sorry for what you're going through, I know it sucks , but don't make the same mistakes that I did! 3
TaraMaiden Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 i did block him, but felt immature so i stopped. we've been fighting alot due to his job. I feel like we just needed time to cool off. That and he's been having trouble due to me not being able to express my feelings to him (ive been through a lot in the past, im pretty closed up). Boy has this been a wake up call for me. He gets angry at me for talking to my exes, so i didn't want to assume the worst but im a girl, thats what i do. thats why im here. It's not in the slightest bit immature. It's a safety move to prevent you from either deliberately or accidentally following them, and coming across information that although it makes them apparently happy, horrifies, saddens and shocks you..... Oh.... hang on. You did this, didn't you?And felt 'punched in the stomach'.....? How is damage prevention and safeguarding your heart, "Immature".....? 1
Author ChelleBelle08 Posted April 20, 2013 Author Posted April 20, 2013 I agree about sticking together. i told him that. but he is very stubborn and independent and doesn't depend on anyone, its his personality and i get that. But i did end up texting him, he answered me but i didn't actually ask him what i wanted to...yet. I could regret this, i might not. I might be overly optimistic about the situation... but i feel like he was just overly dramatic which he tends to be. but this whole fbook thing is pushing my buttons. But either way, no matter what the answer is i feel that i could feel better and stop dwelling on things. Ive gone through it in the past and my easiest break up happened to be with someone who left me for an ex, and it took me a few hours to laugh about it, dust myself off and no longer care. So, if he has the the balls to tell me if this is the case, then i can move on quicker.
OwlSoul Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 However, today i logged on facebook and it states he is now friends with his ex girlfriend Welp, my ex friended his ex a day after he asked for some space. Nothing is really happening between them 100%. But most likely because she is from another country.
Cogee Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 i did block him, but felt immature so i stopped. we've been fighting alot due to his job. I feel like we just needed time to cool off. That and he's been having trouble due to me not being able to express my feelings to him (ive been through a lot in the past, im pretty closed up). Boy has this been a wake up call for me. He gets angry at me for talking to my exes, so i didn't want to assume the worst but im a girl, thats what i do. thats why im here. Blocking is not immature. By implementing NC you are effectively doing exactly what blocking on Facebook is designed to accomplish: remove any interaction between you. Just look at what happened with him adding his ex as a friend. The act of being able to see who he added as a friend is an interaction between you that you need to remove. Maybe the reason you don't want to remove that interaction is because you are hoping to find out the truth so you can move on. Unfortunately, that may not happen the way you want so you could be left pondering and constantly checking his FB for updates, delaying you from moving on.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 i did block him, but felt immature so i stopped. we've been fighting alot due to his job. I feel like we just needed time to cool off. That and he's been having trouble due to me not being able to express my feelings to him (ive been through a lot in the past, im pretty closed up). Boy has this been a wake up call for me. He gets angry at me for talking to my exes, so i didn't want to assume the worst but im a girl, thats what i do. thats why im here. It's not immature to block but if for whatever reason you can't do it, block his news feed and don't click on his page at all. That basically blocks him without him even knowing you did it.
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