Teknoe Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 So today I was talking with a female colleague. She's kind of easy to tease... give her a hard time. I gave her a little 'tude just for fun. It was funny watching her "OMG" reactions. I don't know if it was anything beyond that, but she seemed more interested/responded better than when I made very flat, dry, nice comments. For example, she mentioned something didn't come with instructions, so she didn't know what to do. I told her, "I hope you don't say that when you have a baby" and she just completely went it was so hilarious. She knows I'm kidding, but it's interesting to observe the different reactions you get from girls when you tease/are hard on them a bit versus being doormat nice. I'm not saying DON'T BE NICE. Just, have a little edge to your game. Girls just respond better, in most cases, if you deliver it with confidence and enough tact. You can't be completely tactless. Also big is knowing when she is in the mood to hear an edgy comment. Anyway, nothing new. Just sharing a firsthand experience I had today. I gotta admit, it was kinda fun making those edgy comments to her. She was laughing so I know she knew I was only giving her a hard time.
SJC2008 Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Lot's of girls like to be teased respectfully. I wouldn't classify teasing a girl as being edgy but I know what you're getting at. 6
MrCastle Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 The idea is to be different. I remember one girl on facebook posted a mirror shot of herself in front of her dresser. Every comment before and after mine was "you're so hot!", "damn girl!", etc etc. Mine was mocking her messy dresser, which had bottles from companies I haven't seen in years. I said something like "you're dresser looks like an 80's salon" I was the only one she responded to. She laughed and told me to shut up or something. Point is, I stood out from the crowd. Women get complimented every day. They've heard it all. The guy who says something different is the one who wins. 6
Radu Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 When a woman puts a picture on her FB with her in a dress, she expects to be complimented, she is looking for some sort of validation. If you notice something different, you send a message that you don't go completely gaga over her; there's a big chance that she will intuitively think that you are 'used' to someone that pretty, and hence consider yourself as high status. Eliciting a friendly, joking, response with a little tease is very close to flirting too, if not actually flirting. What you could do Castle is remember that in the future too, now that the memory is there, you can bring it up to the surface. PS: Teknoe, mentioning the baby turned that to flirting, because it is a sexual thing to mention [in that context]. It is the product of sex afterall. 3
Author Teknoe Posted April 20, 2013 Author Posted April 20, 2013 PS: Teknoe, mentioning the baby turned that to flirting, because it is a sexual thing to mention [in that context]. It is the product of sex afterall. Yeah maybe it was a little flirty, which I don't mind. She is a cute attractive girl, after all. Also, I need to mention it was my "go home" shot at her. It was private, away from the group, as we were parting ways. I think it left her thinking about my comment/me in general. I think she saw a different side to me today, because before I was always courteous and so nice. Today I was giving her more of a hard time... I dunno... it just felt right. I don't care if it goes nowhere. She's cute, but I ain't desperate. I think that helps, because I don't give off desperate vibes. It's "whatever, we're just having fun here but if something clicks, cool. If not, not the end of the world" kind of thing When I overanalyze too much I become very mechanical and totally falter. I think many guys can relate to this... 1
todreaminblue Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Yeah maybe it was a little flirty, which I don't mind. She is a cute attractive girl, after all. Also, I need to mention it was my "go home" shot at her. It was private, away from the group, as we were parting ways. I think it left her thinking about my comment/me in general. I think she saw a different side to me today, because before I was always courteous and so nice. Today I was giving her more of a hard time... I dunno... it just felt right. I don't care if it goes nowhere. She's cute, but I ain't desperate. I think that helps, because I don't give off desperate vibes. It's "whatever, we're just having fun here but if something clicks, cool. If not, not the end of the world" kind of thing When I overanalyze too much I become very mechanical and totally falter. I think many guys can relate to this... i think its good to tease and joke...it relaxes me.....if a guy throws me off guard though....it had better not be shot after shot....especially if i like the guy......because it can actually turn into a case is this guy teasing me or is he seriously trying to throw me for a loop...playful banter is relaxing and frisky.......deb 1
irc333 Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Lot's of girls like to be teased respectfully. I wouldn't classify teasing a girl as being edgy but I know what you're getting at. Right, like one time at an event, where we wear name tags....this woman was having a hard time keeping her name tag to stay put or stay straight. It was right on her boob, so I asked her if she "needed assistance" with that. lol She looks up and says, "Who said that? Was that you?! And she had this shocked/smirk on her face. When you create a slight shock value to what you say, you're being "edgy". She then says to her friend, aloud, "I think IRC wants to touch my boob" and we both laugh, and so does her friend She even ran with the joke, as we conversed through the evening like...when we started talking about "body types" we like in our mate, and she says, "Yeah, I can tell IRC's a boob man, LOL" So I got her going, she took the bait and ran with it. It's tricky to not do it toa point where you creep them out, but you kind of have to build rapport with them, too. You have to make certain remarks when the occasion calls for it, like if she wasn't adjusting her name tag, and just sitting there, and you just randomly point out how you like her boobs, then that would be off-putting. LOL Usually, examples of being "edgy/flirty" comes with double entendres 3
runningfar Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 The thing is, teasing isn't not nice. I could not stand a guy who isn't very nice to people - especially to me. However, teasing? Back and forth giving a hard time? I do it, and I expect that he'll be able to volly with me. My boyfriend and I do it all the time. It's joking. Randomly text my boyfriend 'I want you badly" but typing too fast plus autocorrect changed it to "I want you Danny" so I immediately text "OH CRAP! Sent this to the wrong person!" and he texts back, "That cheating *******! He's sleeping with you, too?" I would want to know ahead of time that is possible. That he does not take everything too seriously, least of all himself. I give him crap because I run faster than he does and stretching to ridiculously proportions that my tested IQ is a few points higher than his own. He gives me crap about being somewhat of a luddite, and teases me about my self esteem. I actually do that with all my friends. I know I will not make great friends with someone if they take everything personally and cannot joke and give and take equally well. But, yeah, you should not do it if you do not have a good grasp of what is appropriate and a read on people. That will lose you more than it will gain you. Not everything is funny, and not everything is appropriate, and just being offensive is not the point.
FitChick Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 OP, you showed you have a sense of humor, which everyone likes. Nothing to do with being nice or edgy. I only date nice guys but they are far from boring.
Author Teknoe Posted April 20, 2013 Author Posted April 20, 2013 Right, like one time at an event, where we wear name tags....this woman was having a hard time keeping her name tag to stay put or stay straight. It was right on her boob, so I asked her if she "needed assistance" with that. lol She looks up and says, "Who said that? Was that you?! And she had this shocked/smirk on her face. When you create a slight shock value to what you say, you're being "edgy". She then says to her friend, aloud, "I think IRC wants to touch my boob" and we both laugh, and so does her friend She even ran with the joke, as we conversed through the evening like...when we started talking about "body types" we like in our mate, and she says, "Yeah, I can tell IRC's a boob man, LOL" So I got her going, she took the bait and ran with it. It's tricky to not do it toa point where you creep them out, but you kind of have to build rapport with them, too. You have to make certain remarks when the occasion calls for it, like if she wasn't adjusting her name tag, and just sitting there, and you just randomly point out how you like her boobs, then that would be off-putting. LOL Usually, examples of being "edgy/flirty" comes with double entendres Nice bro! That's exactly what I'm talking about. That is clearly edgy. Right, what I said was probably more teasing/showing humor than edgy, but we're all on the same page here, with regards to having tact, reading the room, and having the right delivery and confidence to pull it off. Reminds me of a time where a girl friend and I attended a show together. She got there earlier than me and texted me if she should find seats for us. I texted back "You can try but normally they won't let you at this time" She texted back 3 minutes later "Got in!" I texted back "Ah, I see your Filipino charm strikes again" It caused her to text back "Hmph! Forget it, I'll wait in the lobby" Made me LOL as I was driving. I could have wrote "Good job! Way to go!" and be completely unexciting. A little teasing does liven up the room, and build that healthy tension @ running, LOL wow. That is fairly extreme IMHO but if it works for two people, I say more power to ya! @ FitChick, that's also true. You gotta be able to make a girl laugh. And in order to do so, you need to not take life too seriously, as well as be confident, know how to read the room, and having enough social skills to deliver the "blows"
Author Teknoe Posted April 20, 2013 Author Posted April 20, 2013 WARNING. This doesn't work for every man and when it goes wrong, it can go terribly wrong. Well that should go without saying, but I'm glad you said it anyway. I will add to my original post that my colleague and I have always gotten along well this past year (since we started working together). I have built up a rapport with her where such an "out there" comment was OK to make jokingly. She is the only colleague to whom I would dare make such a comment. I also know she has never had kids or been married. If you say this to someone who suffered through a divorce or a miscarriage... yikes. That's why you gotta think before you speak, and know how to read the person/room/moment.
curlygirl40 Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Of course there is a fine line between being funny and edgy and offending someone, but I also like a guy I can exchange witty banter with. It makes dating more fun in general, increases my attraction, etc. I tend to joke around a lot and tease about things myself and when it just falls flat because a guy doesn't get the joke it makes me less interested. Or maybe I'm just not funny but I won't accept that as an answer. lol One of the guys I dated that was always the joke. My attempts at humor. He would never admit that I was funny because he always had to one up me.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 Well that should go without saying, but I'm glad you said it anyway. I will add to my original post that my colleague and I have always gotten along well this past year (since we started working together). I have built up a rapport with her where such an "out there" comment was OK to make jokingly. She is the only colleague to whom I would dare make such a comment. I also know she has never had kids or been married. If you say this to someone who suffered through a divorce or a miscarriage... yikes. That's why you gotta think before you speak, and know how to read the person/room/moment. For the most part, this advice is only applicable at work. I do the same thing. I get a feel for people to see what kind of humor they can tolerate. I have naturally have ball-busting, dirty humor, but you have to get a feel for who can go all out with, who you can hint at with without going all the way, and who you have to avoid completely. If you don't do this, you'll probably get charged with sexual harassment or something. Outside of work, who cares? Just do what you feel like doing. The only topics I avoid are things that can potentially be controversial (anything to do with gender, politics, religion, etc) because that will almost always end badly. With my cold approaches during the day, I tend to go for charming-confident. At night, I go for aggressive-confident. I generally don't find much of a reason to bust balls in those situations (also, if you have to TRY to bust the girl's balls, you'll probably end up offending her).
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