dudley87 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Hi guys, i need your feedback on this one, i got dumped in jan this year, went nc for 2 months until she sent me a message asking how i was, stupidly i replied, it began from there, i met up with her a couple of times to chat (not about the relationship) she was going through personal problems at the time and i talked an gave her advice, after that day iv started getting texts off her asking me if im ok, she was selling her car and asking me to ask around if anyone needed a car, she needed my help on a part for a car as im a mechanic an i helped her out, anyway 2 days ago i got fed up and asked her if shes seeing someone else, she replied "no lol" i said why do you put lol at the end and she said because she wanted to, now in my mind i think shes talking bull, if she dumped me and still single why would she still chat to me after 2 months, she talks to me when she feels like it, i dont hear from her every hour of the day but she msgs me after 6-7 hours if she needs advice, basically i wanna kno shall i just go cold turkey and not respond to her when she msgs me next time? I dont ever message her first but she still doesnt take the hint, your help would be apprciated, thanks
WhatYouWantToHear Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 i wanna kno shall i just go cold turkey and not respond to her when she msgs me next time? Yes. Maybe give her an explanation, but tell her you're done with her being in your life.
SharkTooth Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Tell her the truth. Simply as that. I was like you and did LC for a couple months then just came out and asked her if there was a chance. She said no and I started all over again with the emotions. If I knew then, what I know now, I would have never talked to her again. I would have told her that I still have incredible feelings for her, therefore, I cannot become friends. Why? Just to go thru the pain again when her new boyfriend says, he's not very comfortable with her chatting with me and she tells me that she can't be my friend anymore. F*** that! I would have added and told her that she is welcome to contact me if only if she would like to discuss reconciliation. That's it! No more reading in to texts or phone calls for me. It's done, out there, and crystal clear. That would have shaved a couple of months off my healing program! Good Luck
Author dudley87 Posted April 19, 2013 Author Posted April 19, 2013 If i carry on talking to her will decrease any chance of getting her back? Is ghat right?
TaraMaiden Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 You're not going to get her back. She doesn't want to come back. She wants you as a friend, a safe place to fall, a cushion, a lean-on - but you two will never be an item again. So here's your choice. Carry on being her 'convenient touch-base' guy, even though you love her, and even though you want her back, and even though it will never happen, or - Tell her you're finding it impossible to keep talking to her because you love her too much to just be her friend, you need time alone, and you will contact her when you feel the time is right. if she asks when that will be, reply, "When the time is right. And I'll know when that is, not you." Then read the No Contact Guide in my signature, but really, really read it. And follow it, at all costs.
ThatJustHappened Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 She's still talking to you because you're doing favors for her and stroking her ego. NC!
Simon Phoenix Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 If i carry on talking to her will decrease any chance of getting her back? Is ghat right? Talking to her or not talking to her doesn't make a difference at all. Nothing you can do will bring her back. It's up to her. There aren't any magic buttons you can push to make her do what you want.
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