Dragi3169 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I always wonder this if my Ex still thinks about me or misses me. I was there for her at her toughest time when her Mother died and it seemed like nobody else was there.
Am4Real Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Who knows but lets go with YES for the sake of your curiosity. After hearing YES, did anything change? No it didn't, did it. Why? Because he/she did not tell you they missed you and wanted you back after having made the biggest mistake of their life. Nope, I didn't hear those words, did you? Of course you didn't. Stop worrying or over-thinking what they may be thinking and work on thyself. Am4REal 2
Mack05 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I have been the dumper more then the dumpee. When I was the dumper for sure there were parts of my relationship I missed, but in general I was glad it was over and I was glad to have my independence back. I would be excited about the present and the future, not really focusing on the past. The harsh reality is the dumpers simply doesn't feel the pain that dumpee's do. The focus is the now and the future. Sure there is some guilt for hurting someone they loved, BUT it doesn't consume them as their main focus lies elsewhere. That is why it is a waste of time pining over someone who is living their life happily without you..Life is short..Don't waste it on needless obsessing/analyzing on someone who doesn't deserve you.. 12
siankat Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Depends i guess I always chose poorly so when it was done, it was really done, no stone left unturned. Because i treated them right i guess that is why i heard the following directly or via other people years after the bu. my top 3 1) Now i know what it is to be loved. (years post bu) 2) you would make a great mother and wife (4 years post bu) 3)i want to marry you (1 year post break up to present) So if you treated them like they were special. They sure miss that. But if they didn't appreciate you and feel lucky to be with you at the time, just enjoy that they now like you more than you do them. Thats how it always works if you were the 'good' guy
Author Dragi3169 Posted April 19, 2013 Author Posted April 19, 2013 That is well put guys and a great way to look at it
AKisBaked Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 There is a possibility.. depends.. on the BU but I'm sure some part of them will think back and remember the times that were memorable for them
siankat Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I care more about what i think of them...like even this ex i signed up here to try and get over, as time goes on he feels like a stranger because he faked so much stuff. All the thoughts i had developed around and about him feel eerily like the whole thing never happened..
Am4Real Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I agree wholeheartedly. When you have a chance, read the lyrics to JONI MITCHELL - BIG YELLOW TAXI LYRICS Depends i guess I always chose poorly so when it was done, it was really done, no stone left unturned. Because i treated them right i guess that is why i heard the following directly or via other people years after the bu. my top 3 1) Now i know what it is to be loved. (years post bu) 2) you would make a great mother and wife (4 years post bu) 3)i want to marry you (1 year post break up to present) So if you treated them like they were special. They sure miss that. But if they didn't appreciate you and feel lucky to be with you at the time, just enjoy that they now like you more than you do them. Thats how it always works if you were the 'good' guy
siankat Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 It's really sad but the girl my ex is seeing now is writing stuff tentatively on his fb page (yeaahhh i still check it and he just does the same old what he did with his longterm fiance, me, this girl, he does not acknowledge who he is with...of course saying all the right things meanwhile. He puts up pics of him on holiday (in her home town) with no mentioning who he is with or pics with her in them. She writes lame trying to act cool but seeking remarks on his posts and he doesnt respond. I wonder if he's telling her his 'sister says hi' and that he had a great time with her and would love to do it again kinda sad seeing it vicariously all over again
sweetjess1951 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I think it varies from person to person. Not all relationships end after the dumper has been unhappy and thought about breaking up for quite a while. Sometimes the timing isn't there or there is the Grass is Greener syndrome. I had an ex who never reached out to me. A year later we had lunch to catch up and he told me he thought about me every minute of the day for at least 7 months. He would sleep with really attractive girls but none of them made him happy or compared to me. But the whole time I thought he didn't care.
lemonlegs Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 My God, some of you guys really view people capable of dumping other people as heartless sociopaths. Of course they miss you, assuming you shared a sizable amount of your lives with each other. How could you not miss someone in some way or another after having been the closest person to them for a significant period of time? I broke up with my ex-boyfriend a year and a half ago for good, and even though I have a new boyfriend who I love, I still think about it and miss the times we had. Do I want to be with him? No, not at all. But I do think about him fondly and not every thought of him is followed by, "Thank freakin' God I got out of that." Sure, some of them move on quickly or are in new relationships, but unless they ARE a heartless sociopath, chances are they think of you and did, or still do, miss you. Not in the sense that they cry themselves to sleep but I can guarantee most of them give you a thought now and then and smile.
cavalier99 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 (edited) Nobody is saying our exs are sociopaths. Well im sure they think of us at times. I was with my ex 8 years and a huge part of her life. Impossible she doesnt think of me. This is different than missing me in the sense the OP is inferring., If my ex is single now she might have a PASSING though about missing me. And reminising. But that doesnt mean they miss us in the sense they might want back. last i knew as of 6 months ago she was starting a new RS. So why should she miss me? Im starting a new RS and dont really miss her any more. I think about her sometimes and think maybe ill call her one day to catch up. But that is about it. And early on after a BU Im sure they just want us to leave. Who wants to deal with a heart broken ex? That is why the broke up with.us to get away and be free or start a new RS. Cav Edited April 19, 2013 by cavalier99
siankat Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Nobody is saying our exs are sociopaths. Well im sure they think of us at times. I was with my ex 8 years and a huge part of her life. Impossible she doesnt think of me. This is different than missing me in the sense the OP is inferring., If my ex is single now she might have a PASSING though about missing me. And reminising. But that doesnt mean they miss us in the sense they might want back. last i knew as of 6 months ago she was starting a new RS. So why should she miss me? Im starting a new RS and dont really miss her any more. I think about her sometimes and think maybe ill call her one day to catch up. But that is about it. And early on after a BU Im sure they just want us to leave. Who wants to deal with a heart broken ex? That is why the broke up with.us to get away and be free or start a new RS. Cav Didn't you get your bag of sugar and cusion when you signed up to LS?! 1
cavalier99 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 (edited) Didn't you get your bag of sugar and cusion when you signed up to LS?! Hmmm. Maybe because im almost 7 months out and things arnt as fresh my posts may come off as cold. but im just calling it like i see it. And I do have sympathy for everone going thru this stuff. It is hell especially early on. Ive been thru the ringer with my BU and suffered just as much as anyone here. Months of misery and crying ecetera. that being said why worry about if they miss us. Just decide they dont... even if some do. I decided mine didnt miss me the day after my BU for my own sanity. It is much easier to get over things this way. Rock on! Cav Edited April 19, 2013 by cavalier99 1
siankat Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I was really just posting it for the funny factor cos while most people try and ease the pain of relationship death by slowing down the suffering with analysing stuff, you just cut in all over the board firing bullets between the eyes ) I know what you mean about it being hell, i am kinda fine now. Just on here cos its become a habit/hobby 1
cavalier99 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I was really just posting it for the funny factor cos while most people try and ease the pain of relationship death by slowing down the suffering with analysing stuff, you just cut in all over the board firing bullets between the eyes ) I know what you mean about it being hell, i am kinda fine now. Just on here cos its become a habit/hobby Haha. All cool. I like to cut to the chase. Lol. I have had many sympathetic posts over the months but on the whole im all for getting over it as fast as possible even if it mean diving into the pain head first. Early on i forced myself to cry for days staight and imagine my ex of 8 years getting banged every which way and loving it by the new guy! Super painful but works wonders to desensistize you to the idea! Cav
siankat Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Haha. All cool. I like to cut to the chase. Lol. I have had many sympathetic posts over the months but on the whole im all for getting over it as fast as possible even if it mean diving into the pain head first. Early on i forced myself to cry for days staight and imagine my ex of 8 years getting banged every which way and loving it by the new guy! Super painful but works wonders to desensistize you to the idea! Cav Me too!!!! It kinda worked and i fought the reluctance to hold on to the idea i was the last girl he would ever sleep with! Then came the real life blow when i found out (cos i snooped ipso facto self harmed who he was dating/shagging after me! That was a new level of pain. But i'm over it and to be honest, handling a break up like this with no drama is all NEW to me so, i'm really glad with everything that has happened to be honest.
Mack05 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Siankat and Cav...Now there is a wedding I'd love an invite to... u guys are all class.. F*** it. I am going to start the intro's... Kat - Cav...Cav - Kat :-) One day u guys will owe me 1
siankat Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 You know what, i knew when i saw you had posted you would write something like this. And no i wont pm you to tell you how i got over my ex in private. That's twice you have creeped me out now.
Mack05 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 (edited) You know what, i knew when i saw you had posted you would write something like this. And no i wont pm you to tell you how i got over my ex in private. That's twice you have creeped me out now. Honestly Sian I was joking (dry sense of humour) trying to lighten the mood around the place...For sure I didn't mean to 'creep you out'.. I guess you took my looking for info posts as 'sleazy'. That is not what I am about. I loved your 'having fun' post, because I simply couldn't have fun when my heart was broken. It was impossible. My imagination of you having fun wasn't in any way sleazy. I pictured you trying a drug for the first time, ending up in a city you have never been in. That is what I as hoping you would tell me (us) about.. I can assure u I will never pm you or comment on any of your posts again.... Please accept my apologies. Edited April 20, 2013 by Mack05
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