dfd00123 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Well ill tell you the whole story. We met five years ago, and it went so fast it made my head spin. We moved in with each other shortly0 after meeting, fell in love and it was amazing. I spent the best years of my life with her. Before her I didnt like myself at all. She made me see that I was worth something and a good person. On our 2nd christmas together I proposed. She gladly said yes and it was like a dream come true. We were as happy as we had ever been but two months before the wedding she found out she was pregnant. And we never really planned on or wanted kids, but I was excited. She took pregnancy better than I'd ever seen and I loved her more than ever. She took every oppirtunity to make sure he was healthy and her too. He was born in july and by his first birthday we were separated, after five years. she was gone. I had took on as much responsibility as I could at work to make as much money as I could. Which meant working 3rd shift never seeing her or my son. I think I had like post pardum depression or something. It was like I didnt want to be alive anymore but I didnt know why! I couldnt tell her, she was doing so much to take care of him and me too. I got addicted to methamphetamines, a drug I had despised for so many years, and I couldnt stop. And finally she left. Im clean now but its been almost awhole year of hurt and pain. We've both said some hateful, mean, and just down right dirty things to each other. She says she would never put herself in that situation again and never wants to be with me again. I cant stop thinking about her. She was my best friend, my lover, my soulmate. I dont know what to do anymore.I cant keep going on feeling like this. I have a big piece of me missing that will never be there again. We both have dated other people and it just feel wrong. I hate it. I miss her so much. But every time she doesnt have the same feelings about it I lash out and hurt her more. I have to get her back and dont know what else to do. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!!!!
KathyM Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I'm sorry. I know you want her back and your family back together, but you can't force that. You can't demand or insist on it. You screwed up big time by becoming addicted to meth. She may not be willing to risk a relationship with you again, and if that is the case, all you can do is be the best father to your child that you can be. Possibly, in time, when she sees your efforts to be a great dad to your son, and your ability to stay drug free, maybe she'll give you another chance. But you can only hope and pray that that will happen, you can't force her. You have to show her that you have changed, and that will only happen after you have been drug free for quite some time. She might not want to risk a relationship with you again, even if you do maintain sobriety. Sorry. Sometimes we only get one chance to make it work, and if we screw up big time, we don't get another chance. I'm sorry you lost your family because of this. Don't pressure her to take you back. It won't help. Your best chance of getting her back is to live a life of sobriety and committed to being a great dad. That's all you can do. Don't pressure her.
youngnlove89 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 You need professional help. You won't find that here.
Author dfd00123 Posted April 19, 2013 Author Posted April 19, 2013 What exactly do you mean by professional help?
ThatJustHappened Posted April 20, 2013 Posted April 20, 2013 What exactly do you mean by professional help? I believe she means therapy. I concur. I don't think anyone here is qualified to give you the help you need. That's not meant as an insult, we are trying to help.
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