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I hate living with my husband i even resent him at times

Jess12

By Jess12
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

Posted
Posted
I still don't get the random peeing in the shower!

 

Who does that?

 

Take care,

Eve x

 

I wish the guy who's home I used to clean trained himself and his boys to shower pee instead of ALL OVER the floor.

 

Seriously, it was ORANGE every TWO WEEKS.

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

I agree with tbf.

 

If Keith did that in our house, no one would EVER find his body.

 

Maybe the OP should go on a vacation away from the house by herself for a month to ponder her relationship. Let him see how disgusting it becomes.

 

Seriously, though, I would leave or kill him.

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Jess12 New Member

Jess12

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

First off,

 

I apologize for no paragraphs at first i know some complained i was extremely infuriated and overwhelmed and just wanted to vent the heck out and could care less about paragraphs at the moment so i apologize and will try my best.

 

Second,

 

I hate that i gave such a impression, my husband is truly a sweet kind guy, he just started becoming lazy but it has stopped since all hell broke loose and i broke out in an all out screaming war lol, ever since then he is more cautious and more considerate he really is trying about the bathroom thing i got him trained now haha that sounds horrible but sometimes t is hard to break old habits except these were new ones that he got out of no where i guess out of laziness.

 

No we did not move in together before marriage, but he was not as a slob and he did live on his own his mom didn't clean up after him, he always cleaned up after himself always did his own laundry always pretty much took care of everything. He has been really upset lately his job has become overly stressful and he has been kinda discouraged and we communicated and he is amazing.

 

For the person who mention about how can i have sex with him it most be revolting.My husband may be lazy at times with his cleaning habits but he does shower and is clean and he is very attractive actually he is very hot!! lol is not always like this i was really pissed off that day. Also, we worked it out now when he comes home from the gym he goes straight to shower before he would come from the gym and relax a bit before taking a shower but now he goes straight to the shower and puts his dirty gym clothes in the washer every time he leaves his shoes out and or puts them away (i bought a shoe rack thing) that way it stays off the carpet and it has been awesome. The peeing in the shower no more, he couldn't hold it when i was in the bathroom and felt it was okay and i completely called it out on him and he stopped, for some reason he always has to empty his bladder when i do so i just let him use the bathroom and wait till he is done. Silly but it works.

 

Also, about the person who said why on earth would you get ivory couches. My husband was not like this and besides i love our decor and our house is absolutely beautiful and any other couches would look horrible. I am very clean and picky and am always wiping down and cleaning and our couches are easy to clean because they came protected i dont know what is called is like a scotch guard so its not bad but it still does not make it any better but my couches are clean as i am a neat freak and he stopped.

 

Am just glad we had a talk and he saw that i was fed up. It really pissed me off so bad. But now he realized how much it bothered me and we worked it out. My husband is in the Army that is why he has the boots for those who asked. I feel bad for making it sound like he is such a jerk when he really is not and i love him so much it was just getting to a point that i coudnt take his new habits and i thought it wouldn't end but you can train them lol i always had to remind him though, do this do that do this but it worked.

 

He told me the other day "i am sorry, i am not a girl and sometimes i forget but am really trying and i am more conscious about stuff now, but i always lift the toilet seat now and i even cleaned up today earlier so you don't have to" Lol at least he is trying and that's what counts you know.

 

Thanks everyone!

Edited by Jess12
  • Like 2
tbf Established Member

tbf

Posted
Posted

jess12, have you ever heard of borderline personality disorder? One symptom is called splitting, where people are allocated roles of angel or demon.

  • Author
Jess12 New Member

Jess12

Posted
  • Author
Posted
jess12, have you ever heard of borderline personality disorder? One symptom is called splitting, where people are allocated roles of angel or demon.

 

This is in reference to what? Am confused what does that have to do with cleaning habits?

  • Like 1
DayJ Member

DayJ

Posted
Posted
tbf jess12, have you ever heard of borderline personality disorder? One symptom is called splitting, where people are allocated roles of angel or demon.

 

BPD makes absolutely no sense in this topic sorry! Its pretty off topic i agree with kimberlydoll on this one! Btw she said he changed his habits and/or is trying his best after she made it clear how much it bothered her:

 

First off,

 

I apologize for no paragraphs at first i know some complained i was extremely infuriated and overwhelmed and just wanted to vent the heck out and could care less about paragraphs at the moment so i apologize and will try my best.

 

Second,

 

I hate that i gave such a impression, my husband is truly a sweet kind guy, he just started becoming lazy but it has stopped since all hell broke loose and i broke out in an all out screaming war lol, ever since then he is more cautious and more considerate he really is trying about the bathroom thing i got him trained now haha that sounds horrible but sometimes t is hard to break old habits except these were new ones that he got out of no where i guess out of laziness.

 

No we did not move in together before marriage, but he was not as a slob and he did live on his own his mom didn't clean up after him, he always cleaned up after himself always did his own laundry always pretty much took care of everything. He has been really upset lately his job has become overly stressful and he has been kinda discouraged and we communicated and he is amazing.

 

For the person who mention about how can i have sex with him it most be revolting.My husband may be lazy at times with his cleaning habits but he does shower and is clean and he is very attractive actually he is very hot!! lol is not always like this i was really pissed off that day. Also, we worked it out now when he comes home from the gym he goes straight to shower before he would come from the gym and relax a bit before taking a shower but now he goes straight to the shower and puts his dirty gym clothes in the washer every time he leaves his shoes out and or puts them away (i bought a shoe rack thing) that way it stays off the carpet and it has been awesome. The peeing in the shower no more, he couldn't hold it when i was in the bathroom and felt it was okay and i completely called it out on him and he stopped, for some reason he always has to empty his bladder when i do so i just let him use the bathroom and wait till he is done. Silly but it works.

 

Also, about the person who said why on earth would you get ivory couches. My husband was not like this and besides i love our decor and our house is absolutely beautiful and any other couches would look horrible. I am very clean and picky and am always wiping down and cleaning and our couches are easy to clean because they came protected i dont know what is called is like a scotch guard so its not bad but it still does not make it any better but my couches are clean as i am a neat freak and he stopped.

 

Am just glad we had a talk and he saw that i was fed up. It really pissed me off so bad. But now he realized how much it bothered me and we worked it out. My husband is in the Army that is why he has the boots for those who asked. I feel bad for making it sound like he is such a jerk when he really is not and i love him so much it was just getting to a point that i coudnt take his new habits and i thought it wouldn't end but you can train them lol i always had to remind him though, do this do that do this but it worked.

 

He told me the other day "i am sorry, i am not a girl and sometimes i forget but am really trying and i am more conscious about stuff now, but i always lift the toilet seat now and i even cleaned up today earlier so you don't have to" Lol at least he is trying and that's what counts you know.

 

Thanks everyone!

  • Like 1
2sunny Established Member

2sunny

Posted
Posted

Glad it's working out!

 

Have you addressed your need to be so compulsive about things being clean?

 

Maybe he might resent you for making him change so many of his habits...!

 

Besides "letting him pee first" what have you offered about yourself to change?

Eve Established Member

Eve

Posted
Posted
I wish the guy who's home I used to clean trained himself and his boys to shower pee instead of ALL OVER the floor.

 

Seriously, it was ORANGE every TWO WEEKS.

 

Wow, that is so horrible. How can someone leave THAT for someone else to clean up - paid or not?

 

I'm wondering what made the guy change in this situation? It's like one conversation and he is all compliant. That was a bit easy - especially as the OP presented as being highly stressed out and at the point where she could really off ended up pushing him down the stairs one day.

 

Strange..

 

Take care,

Eve x

Charlene78 Established Member

Charlene78

Posted
Posted
I guess that's why it's beneficial to live with someone before marrying them.

 

That's a good point.

 

OP, have you lived with your husband before you married him?

  • Author
Jess12 New Member

Jess12

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Wow, that is so horrible. How can someone leave THAT for someone else to clean up - paid or not?

 

I'm wondering what made the guy change in this situation? It's like one conversation and he is all compliant. That was a bit easy - especially as the OP presented as being highly stressed out and at the point where she could really off ended up pushing him down the stairs one day.

 

Strange..

 

Take care,

Eve x

 

I never said anything about stairs or throwing him down any stairs lol what are you talking about?? I dont even have stairs in my home. i was just mad he started getting lazy about cleaning and it truly upset me.

 

 

 

The guy was being a lazy freakin SLOB because he now has a maid to do all his cleaning. Pure and simple.

 

There's nothing 'compulsive' about wanting your slob husband to take off his DIRTY workboots and DIRTY work clothes before laying on your brand new light-colored couch. Jesus, it's not like he's an Irish Setter who doesn't know any better. He DOES. He just chose to be a lazy jack-hole about it.

 

The OP said he USED to clean up after himself when they were dating and not living together, so he's more than capable. He just chose to STOP cleaning up after himself - as most of them DO when they get a woman in their lives - and decided she was the house slave from now on.

 

Exactly!!!! he really needed reminding he started getting lazy and it just sucked because i was cleaning 24/7 and it pissed me off. But he did hear me out he isn't a jerk he was just been lazy and messy to the point that i couldn't take it anymore.

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

Posted
Posted

Jess is the one who pointed out that she tends to be very picky and compulsive about wanting things clean.

 

I was just stating the obvious.

  • Author
Jess12 New Member

Jess12

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Jess is the one who pointed out that she tends to be very picky and compulsive about wanting things clean.

 

I was just stating the obvious.

 

about peeing in the shower and been soaked in sweat after working out for hours in the gym and smelling like a dead animal and jumping in to your clean sofa or laying with your army boots on top of the couch? You find that compulsive? Thats just gross! Who would even enjoy living like that how is that compulsive????

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

Posted
Posted
about peeing in the shower and been soaked in sweat after working out for hours in the gym and smelling like a dead animal and jumping in to your clean sofa or laying with your army boots on top of the couch? You find that compulsive? Thats just gross! Who would even enjoy living like that how is that compulsive????

 

That wasn't what I was referring to.

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

Posted
Posted

If you also work - I think it's appropriate hat HE also clean the house.

 

He may be less likely o make so many messes if he has to clean up.

 

I think it's good for him o share in laundry duty. Don't forget about all the other things that need to be done on a daily basis. Cooking, dishes, cleaning around the house - it's his responsibility too.

Nyla Established Member

Nyla

Posted
Posted
Jess is the one who pointed out that she tends to be very picky and compulsive about wanting things clean.

 

I was just stating the obvious.

 

I know you just told Jess that you were not referring to her disgust with pee on the floor or dirt on the sofas.

 

What are you referring to then? Perhaps I missed something.

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