steveT95 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I think I may have posted about this before, sorry if I have. Really struggling with day to day things. I get so worked up and angry with thoughts going around in my head. It takes awhile through the day for me to get bad enough for me to need to blow off steam and lash out but it is the majority of my thoughts and is really restricting me. I really want to shout at her and tell her how mad I am and how much wrong she has done, but that won't get me anywhere and everyone including her friends say it'd be useless because she will never listen. How can I just let it go and not get so bothered by it?
TaraMaiden Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 By taking part in an aggressive sport? through Therapy? Anger management? There is no one single "one size fits all" remedy to an issue of this kind. you have to find - and do - what works for you. But you probably 'snowball'. That's the crux of the matter. You have to quit that.
AwptiK Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I was at that "phase" myself about a week ago. About a week straight, I just wanted to let my ex have it...even though there really wasn't much to go off on. Your mind sure likes to come up with every little thing that you could be angry at. As Tara said, it's the snowballing that really makes it worse. The best solution is any kind of outlet you may have. For me, it was the gym. Martial arts, boxing, anything like that would be an amazing outlet. I think the other important thing to realize, is that this is a natural stage of dealing with things for everyone. Denial, Depression, Anger, Bargaining, Acceptance (In any order). Realizing that I was dealing with a natural feeling helped me in a way. I won't lie, it was rough. I was unbelievably close to telling off my ex. At this point though, i'm not angry anymore. At least, i'm not heated and on-edge like I was. Try to find an outlet Steve. Keep your head up! 1
Author steveT95 Posted April 19, 2013 Author Posted April 19, 2013 It's really tough but I am doing better today. I like the idea that it is another stage and that if I get my head down and push through it I will come out of the other end. I do snowball, hell, I did big time yesterday. Sun is out so the SAD is under control, one less thing to worry about. Getting counselling soon and plenty of sleep. I'm feeling a bit better because she has text again, and it seems like she is now looking for any excuse to get in touch, makes me feel like I may be doing better.
Minneloa Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I'm feeling a bit better because even though she has text again, and it seems like she is now looking for any excuse to get in touch, I have taken control of the situation and successfully ignored her for a week, which makes me feel like I may be doing better. There, fixed it for you. What matters is your reactions, not her actions. Keep up the good work, Steve! M
Author steveT95 Posted April 19, 2013 Author Posted April 19, 2013 Hahaha thank you, Minneloa Had a drop earlier, think I managed to stop the snowball. A thought gets in my head and it rolls around and around from 'how could she' to 'whore whore whore' It's draining but I think I am getting better...I think..
Minneloa Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I think it's an impressive step that you have maintained NC for a full week. Seriously. It is not an easy task to maintain self-control in the face of emotional provocation. You shoud be proud of yourself. M.
Author steveT95 Posted April 19, 2013 Author Posted April 19, 2013 Thank you I am. I set up a punchbag today but I couldn't hang it properly. There was a bucket in the garden...was. It's still there, just not a bucket anymore! Feel better but gaddamit I hurt my ankle!
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