It sucks to be unattractive

[MN85]

Being attractive allows you to be 100% yourself and still have plenty of options. It doesn't matter if you have baggage, are an *******, broke, a liar, mental issues, made tons of mistake in the past, etc. People look past beautiful people's short comings.

 

There is a reason Tyrion Lannister (peter dinklage's character) is treat like **** by most and has to use whore houses to get laid. The Maiden of Tarth wouldn't be a maiden if she was hot. They both have awesome personalities and strengths but minimal luck in the relationship department.

 

Also, personality is a tricky thing. We all have our unique dispositions. If your natural personality is not highly desired by the opposite sex and you are not attractive life becomes very lonely.

 

almost entirely agree w you.

the only time when this doesnt hold true is in a serious relationship.

 

for example - I'd dig having a 10/10 model girlfriend

however, if she's a dumb bitch who csant carry a halfway intelligent conversation, I'd **** her until I get bored w her and then move on (note: I wouldnt make her my GF tho - Im not leading girls on)

[TouchedByViolet]

Hahaha, do you know how many people think Tyrion Lannister is the best part of Game of Thrones? And how many women freaking love Peter Dinklage? I assure you, it's not because of his money or fame for a lot of women. Just because a character is written a certain way doesn't mean that it's indicative of how people would really feel.

 

I guess that if you are basing your fun/loneliness or happiness on what the other sex thinks of you, then you should, by all means, do whatever it takes to make the other sex happy.

 

Tyrion is on my top list of characters and George RR Martin has said that he is his favorite. That doesn't change the fact that his life is often miserable. Most people hate him simply for his outward appearance and this has over the course of his life created immense challenges. I have not seen the TV show but read all the books. Just because you like someone doesn't mean you want to eff them. I have met some wonderful women in my life who had some awesome personalities but physically they just didn't do it for me. Physical attractiveness is an important component in attraction.

[KatZee]

It doesn't matter if you have baggage, are an *******, broke, a liar, mental issues, made tons of mistake in the past, etc. People look past beautiful people's short comings.

 

O_o

 

Of course it matters. My ex is a good looking guy. He has too much baggage, he's a liar, a cheater, he's a narcissist, selfish, makes bad decision after bad decision...

 

Ever hear how a person's personality can either make them MORE attractive, or LESS attractive? If you're good looking but you have an ugly personality and ugly behaviors, you become less physically attractive to others. And if you're OK looking and have an awesome personality, and a great heart, you wind up becoming gorgeous to the person who's with you.

[SJC2008]

If I walked into a bar like I owned the place and chatted up a woman and made her laugh until her ribs split she's still not going to go out with me uness she's attracted me. Looks are higher on the list than personality for both sexes. Looks may be higher on the list for men (I disagree) than woman but status and looks are higher on the list than personality for women.

 

OP: Men typically hit on women who they feel are attainable so compare the guy you lik to the men that have asked you out and if he's more than a little better looking than them he's probably not interested:(

[RedRobin]

Oh, and I almost forgot - men age better than women - so in 50 years, I'll look like I'm 50 ;P

 

No they don't.

 

Good luck in 50 yrs when you figure that out... and since many women tend to value personality over looks, you'll be doubly screwed. *shrug*

[Treasa]

Attraction and looks are two different things. Attraction is how you feel about them. I can find guys good-looking but not be attracted to them, but be attracted to them and not initially think they are good-looking.

 

I know some of you are young and sort of naive and new to dating based on previous threads you've posted, but I'm sure you'll figure it out. I'm chalking it up to wanting to blame it on everything except your personalities. Which is fine.

 

The guys who are super attractive here are the ones who are mature and confident and who actually listen. You guys know who you are.

[xxoo]

Most people find relationships, not just the pretty people.

 

If you aren't so good looking, but can attract men with a great personality, it makes sense that you'll be attracted to a not so good looking guy with a great personality. You'll have average looking babies (like most in the world), but you'll have happy lives with your great personalities! That sounds pretty good to me

[todreaminblue]

Yeah, I know, but oftentimes there's a disconnect between what the person sees and what others see. Just curious if she is underestimating herself b/c of insecurity, et al.

 

Just curious...

 

 

its true....nate posted this dove commercial which had an artist who met these people and drew them according to what they told him they looked like(he coudlnt see them) adn then he drew another picture based on people who had met these people earlier....the difference was a palpable thing......how people see themselves against how others see them.....women are way too hard on themselves.....and true beauty.....is often shadowed by self doubt and destroyed by media perceptions of true beauty

[hudson701]

No, it most certainly is not. That's a ludicrous statement. While a base level of physical attraction is needed in any relationship, a great personality, intelligence, and way of acting can go a long way.

 

As a man, I'm literally offended by your statement.

 

Don't listen to this guy.

 

Well in that case we'd all walk around with paper bags on our head as our run-away personalities and amazing intelligence is all that would be required to bag a hot lady. Seriously, when do you ever see an ugly to average man with a very attractive female, or vice versa? It just never happens. Hot people will look to date other hot people, I never see dating down in my experience, unless there is status and/or money concerned. It's shallow, it's horrible but it's something

I learnt to accept long ago. Like a lot of other things in life, it's just unfair. You have to date within your league.

[RedRobin]

Yes they do. Between 30-60 men age far better, after that women age better.

 

No, men don't age better. It's only in their own minds that they believe they do. Just like many happy fantasies they carry throughout their lives. Unfortunately, women are told by society the reverse and too many believe it... But the truth is, men age the same as women... according to how well they take care of themselves and how they adjust to life's challenges.

 

But thanks for chiming in... this is a useful 'teaching' moment...

 

OP, here is an example of confidence run amuck.... or skewed at least. So let's straighten it out.

 

If guys like Mr. Soul has convinced himself he'll be more attractive the older he gets... so can you...

 

... get that education. Be curious about the world and be a life-long learner. Find enjoyable ways to care for your body and learn to love it and what it can do. Those are all attractive qualities.

Edited April 19, 2013 by RedRobin

[carhill]

IMO, it's not bad being invisible. I was reminded today of the gift of recognition and sincere care from those to whom one is not invisible. Pretty good feeling.

[KatZee]

Yes they do. Between 30-60 men age far better, after that women age better.

 

Yikes. The guys I see on a daily basis who are between those ages don't look all that great at all. Receding hair lines, extreme beer guts, hair in all the wrong places...

 

I know guys in their 20's who aren't aging gracefully at all. Complete baldness in a good number of guys I know.

 

You age as gracefully as you take care of yourself. Eat well, exercise, get enough sleep. It's not really a gender thing.

[RedRobin]

It's not that men age better, it's that signs of aging are much less unattractive on men than women. Grey hair can look okay on guys, but it looks horrible on women, etc...

 

um... that's called societal conditioning.

 

The only reason why men think grey hair is 'ok' on guys is because women are obliged to seek out men based on their personalities (not just their looks) because statistically men tend to be ****tier human beings to start with.

 

If men had to sort through the garbage bin of people prone to violent crimes, addiction, and be plagued by painful double standards... they'd focus more on personalities too. As it is, they often don't learn until they are much older that focusing mostly on looks in women and that little brain between their legs has it's downsides as well... often after they are divorced and saddled with childcare costs...

[Treasa]

A lot of women are also nicer and less apt to criticize men openly. Trust me, we aren't really THAT attracted to dudes who are visibly aging, unless they are awesome in other ways.

 

I'm still a 10!! And so are a lot of the lovely people in this thread, IMO.

[KatZee]

Maybe I'm weird here, but I think silver hair on a woman looks nice on a woman. A lady at my past job had a complete head of grey/silver hair and it was always styled so nicely and she always looked stunning to me.

[ScreamingTrees]

You need to read this thread and click on the link in the first post.....

 

That girl's quite attractive even with no make-up on.. I think she looks more bland and forgettable with the make-up on, not an exciting look at all. Hell, she still looks hot when she's making that weird no-chin face, she just looks like a hot girl making a funny face..

[HokeyReligions]

Everyone is stunningly beautiful to the right people. I had a friend in college who fit the supermodel type and had a great personality. She was so lonely tho she didn't show it because she never knew if she was really loved. She has had a lot of relationships since. Some serious. I, on the other hand, am a chubby average and have been married to the same man for nearly 30 years.

[Esoteric Elf]

Everyone is stunningly beautiful to the right people.

You have to have lived through experiences to realize the humor behind this statement.

[RedRobin]

What exactly was I supposed to learn from this?

 

oh, not for you... it was for the OP. Funny how you thought it was all about YOU kiddo That's just so adorable (kinda like when kindergarteners are learning to finger paint)

 

You, Mr. Soul, are likely not 'teachable' in the conventional sense.

 

You will likely have to learn the hard way. Good luck with that.

Edited April 20, 2013 by RedRobin

[SJC2008]

It's a scientific fact that women age worse than men. They lose collagen faster and have less androgen than we do. There are exceptions but for the most part men age better. Personally, I look my age with some guessing younger and some guessing older.

[TacoGirl23]

I think that most people can be attractive with the right hair style, make-up, clothes etc. Personality is very important too ( especially for serious or LT relationships). But most people need some physical attraction to work with.

 

I believe in modesty- I don't wear much make-up but I also think that women should do what they can to enhance thier looks. Even the most beautiful Hollywood starts accentuate thier looks with make up. Why don't you pay a visit to a make- up store and ask the make- up artist to test some make-up on you. Get her to teach you how to apply it too. I don't know if you're overweight, average or slim but I don't think that really matters as some men prefer bigger women, while others smaller. The most important thing is being healthy( lose weight if YOU want to and not because of male attention) and wear attractive, colourful and trendy clothes that SUIT your body type.

 

Believe me when I say that with the amount of make overs women have access to , it's almost impossible not to be attractive if you tried.

How old are you?

 

Finally, please do not drown yourself in negative thoughts. I've seen a lot of women that people deem "unattractive", with wonderful, attractive and loving husbands. Don't ever think you are too unattractive to find love. That's simply not true.

 

Do what you can to enhance your looks ( as most women do) and leave the rest to unfold naturally. Don't obessess over it. It will happen.

 

Exactly what I thought. I dont want guys who only date me for my appearance. In that case，if someone better comes along，I am a goner. I've always maintain a clean face because I wanted someone to like me for who I am. But thread really shred some lights for me. I realized I need to look approachable in order for the guy to really want to get to know me. I guess I am going to work on my appearance....if only I know how to start. Any tips？ Youtube is definitely not going to be much help，anywhere else I can get makeup tips？Of course though，I am not going to change myself into who I am not. Keeping a light and natural makeup face. We'll see how it goes。

 

.、▽

[FitChick]

It's a scientific fact that women age worse than men.

So why do men die sooner?

[Divasu]

So why do men die sooner?

 

Because we have two X chromosomes, while men have only have one.

 

[Buttercup84]

Exactly what I thought. I dont want guys who only date me for my appearance. In that case，if someone better comes along，I am a goner. I've always maintain a clean face because I wanted someone to like me for who I am. But thread really shred some lights for me. I realized I need to look approachable in order for the guy to really want to get to know me. I guess I am going to work on my appearance....if only I know how to start. Any tips？ Youtube is definitely not going to be much help，anywhere else I can get makeup tips？Of course though，I am not going to change myself into who I am not. Keeping a light and natural makeup face. We'll see how it goes。

 

.、▽

 

There is nothing wrong in becoming a better version of you. I am not super attractive, but eat healthy, go to the gym and make sure I am groomed.

 

I like to have neat eye brows - they make a huge difference to a face.

 

And confidence makes you more attractive, as corny as it is.

 

As I said, do not become someone else, just work on yourself.

 

Bit of mascara and lipgloss looks natural. I buy clothes that flatter me and

[TacoGirl23]

I doubt you are average. Maybe you need to look at yourself in a different way. Why do you think you arr unatractive ?

 

In my group of girl friends，I hardly get any attention from guys if they are around. It used to bother me，but not anymore. I am always the girl all the guys like to talk to， but not date. It is hard for me to fall for a guy，but if I do，I fall hard. So far，I have only dated one guy and went on dates with two others in my 21 years if life. My first boyfriend always tried to get me to change the way I look in a subtle way. He fell hard for me for my personality and told me that it is what makes me different from other girls，even though he dated other prettier chicks. I guess I couldnt take it anymore and finally broke it off. It's not that I don't date guys who like me for my personality，but in the end...they still think they can do better. I've always gotten the your cute comments，but never the your pretty one.

 

I know I am reaching for the nearly impossible with this guy..but I can see us having a great relationship.We have amazing chemistry...and felt like we've known each other for years. It even got to the point where he told me I am one of the fewest girls he felt so comfortable and click with，and this is what gets me the most. If that is the case，why don't he give me a try？ Are looks really that important？A bit shallow，I must say.