ana0pera Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 So I've recently joined some dating sites and I am getting some interest from men that I find agreeable, and eventually it is likely to turn into actual in-person dates which kind of freaks me out because I am introverted and shy and clam up around strangers and people I don't know too well. Even if I don't want relationships with these guys (right now I don't, just casual dating and friendships) I don't want to come off as some weirdo when we actually meet, as online we've seem to hit it off. Maybe I am overreacting? Does anyone have tips or advice on this? And another thing, I am starting to realize that maybe meeting people in-person first (as opposed to using websites, not that I am against websites) might be a viable option for me (I am slowly starting to gain my self-esteem back and am seeing myself as desirable for the first time in a year). I never approached guys at bars or events even if it is a cutie who might be staring at me... but I think soon I will be ready to try? It's an exciting but nerve wracking thought for all the reasons I listed above... anyone have anything to say about shy girls approaching guys in social settings? Or anywhere, for that matter...I've never picked up a guy lol!
outsidethebox Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I'm thinking being comfortable talking to someone you're meeting for a date is going to be a big first step for you. Long way from that to approaching men in public settings. Actually, isn't it somewhat of an art to not approach men but give them enough interesting looks that they approach you if interested? I think the shyness thing actually works for you there.
El Brujo Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 Since I gave up OLD in favor of meetups nearly 2 years ago, yes... I notice there's a BIG difference. With OLD a person can make themselves into anything they want to be. But IRL I've met a lot of other singles who are very intimidated by the fact that I have my s. together better than a lot of them do. I'm not kidding, some of them are in their mid-40s like me and they still don't know what they want to do with the rest of their lives. A guy like me with a house and a steady job scares the bejesus out of some of these women.
BluEyeL Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I mean really? A man with a house and a steady job scares the women?? I have a house and a steady job and nobody seems scared of me, and I"m a woman. IN turn, I don't get scared of men with houses and steady job, quite the contrary. Are you sure it's not some other reasons they get scared? To answer OP's question, no, pls don't pick up men in bars or other settings. Just make eye contact and smile briefly and let them approach you. Other than that, bc you are shy, the only way to get over it is to practice. I was nervous like hell on my first date ever, but it gets better and better with practice. That's the only way. 1
El Brujo Posted April 21, 2013 Posted April 21, 2013 I mean really? A man with a house and a steady job scares the women?? I have a house and a steady job and nobody seems scared of me, and I"m a woman. IN turn, I don't get scared of men with houses and steady job, quite the contrary. Are you sure it's not some other reasons they get scared? Like I said, it's because I have my s. together and most of them don't. You're not intimidated because you are obviously a woman who has your s. together.
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