Fondue Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Incoming wall of text, please be patient . I've posted before about my indifference in regards to women, dating, sex, etc., and how I never found myself caring for the women I chose to go out with, despite sexual/intimate behavior. Anyway, I think I may have recently changed my tune. I don't know why, but I find myself in completely new territory. I kind of don't even know how to process some of these feelings, haha. I know this sounds absurd, but whatever. ANyway, I met a girl about 2months ago. We texted back and forth for about two weeks, really getting along well (without any intimate/sexy texts-- I always avoid those). We met up, had sex on first date. I thought it was going to be a typical ONS (as did she, at first), but we really clicked on every level. It was incredibly strange. Sex was very much mutually enjoyable. We continued to meet for dates and more sex. We met about 2-3x a week. More than half those nights were "date" nights, where we went to see a show/dinner/long walk/etc. etc. Connected more and more. Had plenty more sex. Every evening being that much more "romantic" and intimate. She did point out on several occasions that she was leaving for a 5 week business/training trip provided by her company. She repeatedly hinted at and even told me to come visit her, since I will have a long weekend off from work. I never committed to the idea, but I did joke about it. Two weeks before her departure, we finally kind of approached a "talk" of sorts. We both told each other that despite what we originally thought of our arrangement, we happen to "like" each other. She said it really scares her because she recently had a 4year relationship that ended, she is still "broken" and "picking up the pieces," and that she "didn't think I[she] could find anything better than my[her] ex, until I[she] met you[me]." Long story short, she thinks this trip will give her time to "heal." I told her that I really don't care and I don't even know what I want. I am just figuring it out like she is. I happen to be dating other women as well, but she is the only one in a long time (ever?) that I actually care for. She knows this as well. Anyway, the weekend before she left, we hung out again. Again had that same conversation, and both agreed we had feelings but of course she has to go. She again offered for me to come see her, I kind of said "maybe." She went, arrived to her place. Told me how wonderful it is, and again told me to visit her to "check it out." So now I'm wondering, should I? Is it "too soon?" How appropriate would it be for me to see her? I can definitely afford the trip, and I have the time for it as well. But I simply don't know if it makes sense. Bonus question: She is not really my "type," and she is the first girl I feel actually attracted to. She is incredible cool, funny, quirky, etc. But I don't "lust" over her. She is pretty, but I don't "see" her that way, where you are just smitten by attraction. Will this eventually be a downfall? Thanks for reading! I appreciate it!
ja123 Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 No, I don't think it's a downfall if you're not immediately "smitten" as you say. Though, I don't know if I believe that you weren't ... I mean you did have sex on the first date, right? Anyhow, I believe physical attractiveness is important; however, people do rate it differently, and it sounds like you've got a lot more going on with this girl. A real connection. So about the trip? Well, it depends how you want to play it. Do you want things to cool off a bit, and then see if you feel the same when she comes back? Or, do you want to build momentum? Personally, I'd go for the former and not visit. I'd want to take a step back and see how I feel. Not to mention, she's just recently out of a LTR, so she might do well with a bit of time alone, too. So what do you think you'll do? What do you feel like doing?
Author Fondue Posted April 19, 2013 Author Posted April 19, 2013 No, I don't think it's a downfall if you're not immediately "smitten" as you say. Though, I don't know if I believe that you weren't ... I mean you did have sex on the first date, right? Anyhow, I believe physical attractiveness is important; however, people do rate it differently, and it sounds like you've got a lot more going on with this girl. A real connection. So about the trip? Well, it depends how you want to play it. Do you want things to cool off a bit, and then see if you feel the same when she comes back? Or, do you want to build momentum? Personally, I'd go for the former and not visit. I'd want to take a step back and see how I feel. Not to mention, she's just recently out of a LTR, so she might do well with a bit of time alone, too. So what do you think you'll do? What do you feel like doing? Honestly, I have no idea what I will be doing. If I do decide to go, it won't be until next weekend (not this one coming up). She just, moments ago, texted me her exact room number and hotel address. It's weird. She also knows it won't be until next week, even if I decide to go :/. I know she isn't lonely because she has many friends and co-workers there, so it's not like she is asking me to come out to keep her company.
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