editor Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 Hello everyone To be honest, I don’t know what to do anymore neither where to go. I would like to thank you all for reading my story, of which many have probably been posted online. Also would like to apologize for English mistakes since the language is not my mother tongue. Anywayz, 7 months ago I decided to study again (well actually work + studying). I went to university in evenings while I was working during daytime (I still am in this situation btw). In one class I immediately fell in love with someone, it just happened, bang, there it was and it is huge. Kate, is 29 years old (just like me), and was dating someone when I first met her, a younger guy (25 or smt). I quickly noticed that she didn’t look happy at all, the guy was doubting about her and wasn’t really treating her well. They broke up, and logically as it seems, I became the guy to help her. Hey I might have done it on purpose or because I just cared for her. We saw eachother more and more and I was more convinced she was/and still is one with whom I could share my life with. We slept together but never went any further than kissing and hugging. Sometimes she kissed me back, sometimes she didn’t want to be kissed. Anywayz, she broke up 5 months ago and told me tonight that: 1. she totally isn’t over that guy 2. she is not attracted to me, well, sometimes she kisses me because she wants to. Sometimes she doesn’t feel the urge to do so. 3. She would like to be friends but I can’t tell whether I can do such thing since, lets be honest. I love her with eveything I got. Ah well, I don’t know what to do actually. I know and sometimes she in her eyes that she does love me every now and then, that her feelings for me are sincere. In some way I have lost all my selfconfidence and am walking around like very depressed guy. Can love still grow? I find it a pitty that the outside of someone is more important than the inside at the age we are at the moment. I mean, ok, the outside is important but jezus christ, the inside is so much more. What do I do? Do I tell her that I don’t want to see her anymore Do I tell her that I can be friends (though it’ll be hard, and I am sure that she will never see me again whenever she finds someone else?) Aren't people supposed to find the internal alot more important at our age? If i take this situation right, she has the feeling that we do belong together but that she can’t feel any physical attraction since (and let’s be honest, it is true) her ex boyfriend is ALOT better looking than me. She finished the talk of today with. I can’t tell you that we will never be something, but I can tell you that we will anever be something right now, in the nearby future and that chances are small that we will ever be. She takes me on family pictures, holds my hand when brother is with us, makes me meet her mother, etc etc.
Tinie Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 I don't think she does. I know it sucks, but everyone's been there. You think you found the perfect person but they don't see it that way. Please don't wait for her. I'd still be friends with her, but I wouldn't wait for her to make up her mind. If she does one day and you still want her, great! But keep your options open, it sounds a bit like one of those short-lived infatuations anyway.
Author editor Posted March 12, 2014 Author Posted March 12, 2014 Sad to read (for myself) that I still didn't break out of this situation yet. It's been a year and nothing much has changed, we have the greatest time and weekends together. Actually, we see eachother on an every day basis and have been sleeping next to eachother for a zillion billion times, but things don't seem to evolve. After this 1.5, she still gets mad over nothing. She still denies us being in a relationship, she still says at times that she doesn't think we'll ever be something and she still says that I should let her go, to meet other people so she can make up her mind (djeezes, like I wouldn't feel second choice then). I'm in trouble, and I should get/crawl out of it. But to be honest, I don't know how or why. She posts pictures of us on her facebook often, calls me dear, takes me to her family ALOT... last weekend was awesome, these last 2 days too. But yesterday evening we arrived at her place and when I stopped my car she says (50% of me still thinks that we'll never be something). She has been in the worst relationships because the choices she made in the past. Guys cheating on her, hitting her, doing drugs in combination with a very very tough childhood. I often see many borderline personality disorder signs in her, but she got very angry when I brought it up. To be honest, I still am in love with her, alot. But I am starting to miss those very intimate things, like sex for example (we didn't have ever because she has the feeling that her ex boyfriends only took her for the sex part of it, and says she still ain't ready - which I respect, alot). This ain't going anywhere, is it?
Assasda Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 The girl is sweet for treating you this way. She should have cheated on you, call you names and just left you. You my friend, put this girl on the highest pedestal imaginable, and the girl couldnt handle it anymore. She was trying to tell you what to do, and trying to keep in the relationship, but you sucked the life out of her. What you should do is treat her like you did, when she was at the university and had a boyfriend. She's sick of your insecurities and she's sick of being on the pedestal. Please, see other women
FrostBlaze Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 (edited) The girl is sweet for treating you this way. She should have cheated on you, call you names and just left you. You my friend, put this girl on the highest pedestal imaginable, and the girl couldnt handle it anymore. She was trying to tell you what to do, and trying to keep in the relationship, but you sucked the life out of her. What you should do is treat her like you did, when she was at the university and had a boyfriend. She's sick of your insecurities and she's sick of being on the pedestal. Please, see other women That phrase +bolded part, what makes you say that? How does this work xD. I have been in a similar situation, and i just don't understand it. EDIT: nvm i'm a make my own topic about this. Edited March 13, 2014 by FrostBlaze
Downtown Posted March 14, 2014 Posted March 14, 2014 I often see many borderline personality disorder signs in her, but she got very angry when I brought it up.Editor, you don't mention many BPD signs. It therefore would be helpful to know which warning signs you believe you are seeing. If you are interested, please take a look at my description of such signs at 18 BPD Traits. If most of those red flags sound very familiar, I would be glad to discuss them with you.
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