do-over Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 After 17 years together, 9 years married and 2 kids here I am wondering how I got to be between a rock and a hard place! I feel like there is no way out. My husband comes from an abusive, addiction filled home. I am now married to a man who regularily verbally abuses me, lies constantly, stonewalls every attempt I make at finding common ground and is a drug addict. He refuses to acknowledge any of the problems I raise, won't agree to a pareting plan, family goals, agreeable household conduct, financial priorities - never ends. Leaving seems impossible as he would walk away with all the finances (his family trust) and be very difficult to deal with in regards to the kids. Right now I feel like I am stuck in this untenable relationship but the alternative seems like utter rubbish - a long hard battle I haven't got the energy to deal with. Would love some advice from those who have "been there done that". What makes it worse is that I have a big operation looming and will not be able to look after my kids for several weeks so will need live in help - leaving now just isn't an option. But the idea of healing from a big op while in this nightmare is just.....hard.
Phoebe Posted April 18, 2013 Posted April 18, 2013 I want to recommend an additional website forum to you that may help. The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com They have a section specifically for friends and family of addicts. Not that the people here at LoveShack couldn't help but there seems to be more traffic over there.
Mr. Lucky Posted April 19, 2013 Posted April 19, 2013 Leaving seems impossible as he would walk away with all the finances (his family trust) and be very difficult to deal with in regards to the kids. There's always a price to leave - financial, emotional, logistical, spiritual, no one gets out for free. At some point, those of us that divorced by choice decided that in long run it simply made more sense than staying. It wasn't cheap and it wasn't easy, especially with kids involved, but in the right circumstances the decision eventually validates itself... Mr. Lucky BTW - Old joke: Why is divorce so expensive? Answer: Because it's so worth it.
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